Sibling Innocence Ch. 02

When she was done and while trying to close the over-stuffed case she heard the click behind her. “Oh shit!” She turned and looked at the door knowing immediately that someone had locked her in from outside her room.

~

Joseph was commanded by his father to go pack as planned. He would be the one leaving after all. As he walked through the house to his room he heard Janis screaming and pounding on the door from inside her bedroom.

“Open this door!” She screamed between pounds. “Let me out!”

Joseph saw his mother standing outside Janis’ room sobbing. She did not make her presence known to Janis after locking her in, but just stood there listening to her daughter yell and watching the door rattle with the hits by Janis on the other side.

He entered his room and decided not to shut his own bedroom door. He stood there for a moment, trying to take it all in. He listened to the yelling of his sister and the pain in her voice. He blamed himself for her pain. He wished he had the strength to stand up to his parents like she did. He wished he could fix all this. Maybe go back in time somehow and stop Janis and him from falling in love. No… that’s not what he really felt. He wished they had never been caught. He loved her and didn’t want that feeling to go away. Dr. Sanders had to have been right though. This love was wrong, maybe it wasn’t even real. All this talk about right and wrong… did it not seem right?

Joseph closed his eyes and saw flashbacks of the last three months with Janis; the closeness he felt with her. He saw the way her face lit up when she looked at him and felt the stirring in his heart when he looked at her. He remembered her smile; he wished he could see her smile again. Thoughts of her embrace made his skin feel warm even now. Thoughts of her kiss sent tingles through his lips. He could almost hear her whisper, “I love you,” into his ear as she so often did while he came inside her. Right and wrong? He imagined their love as being the one right swimming in a world of wrongs. Now it’s all fading away.

Joseph was startled out of his daydreams. He realized that what has startled him was silence. No more screams or pounds coming from elsewhere in the house. Janis must have given up. He packed his bag quickly. He was able to fit most everything he wanted, not owning many clothes.

A few minutes later he stood at the front door saying his half-hearted good-byes to his parents. He was about to open the door when a very loud bang came from the hallway. His mother and father both looked at each other. His mother spoke.

“Did that sound like a gun?!” All three of them immediately turned pale with that thought racing through their heads.

“It can’t be.” The father spoke. “Where would she…” Another loud bang interrupted his thought. This one sounded more like wood splitting.

Joseph’s parents walked back into the hallway. Right away they saw a rather large crack in the door to Janis’ room. Both parents gasped as they saw the damage. The father turned completely red. He snapped open the lock on the door and pushed it open. There was Janis, holding one of the drawers from her dresser, which she had been using as a kind of battering ram.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He charged at her and ripped the drawer out of her hands.

“Ow!” Janis cried as she sprained her wrist trying to hold on to the drawer. “You can’t keep me prisoner! Just let me leave!”

“Fine, we’ve had enough of this! Go!” He pointed to the door and Janis grabbed her suitcase on her way out.

“Jan… wait!” The mother followed her out and tried to grab her shoulder. Janis stopped but didn’t turn to look at her. “Janis, don’t go! That’s it,” the mother now spoke to the father, “I’m putting a stop to this right now. Lock them up if you have to, but I’m not going to let the family split up…”

“It’s too late, mom.” Janis interrupted her. “I don’t want this family anymore. I’m leaving no matter what.”

Her father stomped toward his daughter and Janis turned to him. No longer afraid of this man whom she felt she didn’t even know anymore. Janis expected the worst, but was too pissed to back down now.

“Get out bitch!” He spit at her.

“Fuck you, dad!”

He smacked her… hard. It was that kind of back-handed hit across the cheek that makes everything go white for a few seconds, with force that turned her head almost completely around.

“How could you?!” She heard her mother scream. Janis’ eyes filled with tears and her face felt like someone had thrown burning hot grease on her. She regained her composure and at first thought about fighting back, but there was nothing she could do. Her father looked ready to kill her and she wouldn’t be able to stop him. Janis backed away, suitcase still in hand. Only after about five steps back did she finally turn away from him and walk away. He did not follow, nor did her mother whom Janis heard saying over and over, “How could you…how could you…”

Joseph had never left his position by the front door this whole time. He could hear what was going on but didn’t totally understand what had happened until he saw Janis walking toward him. Her eyes misty with tears and her cheek now turning red, Joseph knew.

“He hit you?!” Joseph questioned.

“Don’t worry about it.” Her voice was stern. “Goodbye, Joseph.” She brushed past him and reached to open the door but Joseph put his palm against it to hold it closed.

“Where will you go?”

“I don’t know…” Janis tried to think but couldn’t. She just wanted to leave. “I’ll think of something.”

Joseph wanted desperately to be able to say the right thing at that moment, but nothing came to mind. All he could manage was just what he felt, “I love you, Janis.”

Janis turned and now smacked Joseph, not hard like her father had done, but enough to get his attention. “How dare you, Joseph!” She growled. “How dare you say that to me now! You never loved me, you loved to fuck me, but that’s it!”

“That’s not true…”

“It is true, you couldn’t possibly have loved me and then let me fight this battle alone!”

She was right. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “but I do love you.”

“I’d tell you to prove it,” she whispered back, “but it’s too late for that now.” Janis forced the door open against his hand and two seconds later it was slammed shut.

Hurt and sorrow was Joseph’s entire world at that moment. Janis hated him, his parents hated him, and he certainly did not like himself too much right then. He was weak, he betrayed his true love but was unable to stop it. The most beautiful thing he has ever known just walked out the door and was now probably getting into her car. She’s going to drive away and maybe out of his life forever.

Joseph questioned himself. He wondered why he wouldn’t stand up for himself, or for Janis. Was he really that weak? Or maybe he was just to embarrassed to confront his parents. How horrible it was, to be caught pants down with your own sister. How horrible it was to be caught, but how wonderful it was to be with her. She was his angel, and maybe she was right. Maybe all that stuff the doctor had fed him was crap. Maybe that doctor didn’t know what he was talking about. It’s true Joseph has had a tough time getting along with his parents, specifically his mother. But if those relationships needed to be fixed, it should have happened a long time ago. Now he and Janis are adults, and if their love is the by-product of messed up parenting, then it’s the best thing his parents have ever given him. Maybe it’s not too late. Janis’ love was pure, and wasn’t that worth fighting for?

Joseph snatched his suitcase and moved to open the door. “Now where are you going?” He turned to see his father walking out from the hallway.

“I’m leaving too, dad.”

“Bullshit. Go to your room.”

“I don’t want to spend another second in this house. Or with you.”

“Oh yeah?” His father walked closer to Joseph. “You gonna run away like that slut sister of yours?” Joseph didn’t answer him. “I know,” he spoke again, “your going to run away with her, aren’t you? What a happy little couple the two of you are, brother and sister. You gonna live together? Get married maybe? Have a couple of retarded kids? Is that your new life, Joseph?”

Joseph was so pissed off at this point that all fear turned to anger. He hated this man, his father, now. He hated him for what he was saying, for what he was doing. Mostly he hated him for what he did to Janis. That thought alone made Joseph see red.

“Whatever it is I decide to do,” Joseph spoke, “it’s no longer any business of yours.”

“You are sick! Screwing your own sister is disgusting!” His father shoved Joseph back against the front door. Joseph’s head fell back and smacked hard against it. He was shocked, he never knew his father to have this kind of violence within him. His father never tried to hurt his kids before. Joseph’s rage amplified, he didn’t see this man as his father anymore. This was now a threatening intruder whom invaded Joseph’s privacy and was now threatening Joseph’s well being.

He launched back at his father, shoving him back hard and knocking him down. Joseph tripped over himself and fell on top of his father. He tried to grab Joseph and push him off, but Joseph managed to pull his hands away. Joseph started to swing wildly at his father. All his fear and anger now balled up into two fists. He managed to land a few hits along his father’s nose and left cheek. His father responded with yells and cries of pain. A few more hits landed across his mouth and jaw. Joseph was hitting furiously and without control of himself. He felt his hands crunching into his father’s face and saw the blood, but it didn’t seem real. He heard his father cry out for help and beg Joseph to stop, but he didn’t. Eventually his father stopped fighting and stopped yelling. Joseph was able to regain control and stopped hitting. His father was motionless under him. Not dead, Joseph hoped, just knocked out.

It seemed like an eternity passed within those next few seconds as Joseph managed to crawl off the still body of his father and back onto his feet. Blood was trickling out of the nose and mouth of his father and pooling under his head. It was at this moment that Joseph finally noticed his mother standing in the doorway leading to the hallway. She had seen the whole thing but seemed unaffected. She stood as motionless as her bloodied husband lying in front of her.

Joseph didn’t know what to say, or even what could be said. He turned away and picked up his suitcase once again. His mother spoke as he was about to open the door.

“Wait…” she said softly. He turned to face her again and she was now animate as if someone turned her power switch on finally. She bent down to her husband and reached into his backside pocket. After retrieving the wallet she flipped it open and took all the cash out from it. She dropped the emptied wallet back on his chest and raised her money-filled hand at Joseph.

He didn’t know what to do. Instinct guided him back over to his mother and he took the money from her hand. He didn’t know how much it was, but anything would be helpful now. His mother still knelt at the side of his father and she turned her head away from Joseph after he took the money. Nothing was to be said between the two. No “good-bye”, no “good luck”, not even a “take care” would seem right at this moment. Silence said it all. Joseph turned away from his parents for the last time and now made it out the front door at last.

~

Joseph’s first reaction to the outside world was to ask himself, “What now?” The night air felt good as it tingled across his skin. He was sweaty and tired, but somehow now felt rejuvenated. He felt free and more alive than he had in the hours since his troubles began. This night air brought hope and possibilities. It also brought questions. “What now?” He asked himself again.

It didn’t take long for his answer to come. As Joseph stepped off the front porch he saw Janis’ car still sitting in the driveway. Inside the car, slumped over with her head resting on the steering wheel was his sister. It had only been four, maybe five minutes since she had walked out the door and she was probably trying to compose herself a little before she could drive away.

“Janis!” Joseph yelled to her as he started to run towards her car. She lifted her head and saw him coming at her. She wanted to start the car and drive away, but as he got closer she saw something that Joseph still had yet to notice. There was blood on his shirt and all over his hands. Janis opened her door and climbed out. “What happened?” She asked.

“Don’t leave yet!” Joseph panted as he ran up to her. “I want to go with you.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I don’t want to stay here, I don’t want to be without you!” Joseph reached out to touch her but she backed away and stared at his hand. Joseph now saw the blood coating his knuckles.

“What did you do,” Janis questioned, “whose blood is that?”

“Dad’s,” Joseph mumbled, “he attacked me.”

“Did you kill him?”

“No. No… I don’t think so. He’ll be all right. I want to go with you.” There was something different about Joseph now. Janis thought he seemed stronger and more confident. Totally unlike the scared little kid he was just minutes ago. Janis had no idea why, but she accepted his offer to go with her. At least for now.

“Fine. Let’s get out of here.” Janis fell back down into her seat and Joseph ran to the other side. Once they were both in, Janis started the car and pulled out of the driveway. She glanced quickly over at her brother who smiled at her. She didn’t smile back but turned away instead. Janis stepped on the gas, and after a short squeal from the tires, they were now on their way. Neither knew where they should go, but any direction leading away from that house seemed just fine.

~

About an hour had passed and both Janis and Joseph sat quietly in the car. They traveled along a highway heading roughly east. Joseph sat with his head against the window watching the white line on the side of the road. It was too dark out there to really see anything else.

Janis was getting tired. Joseph had earlier told her everything that had happened. He told her what he had thought about after she walked out, about his fight with their dad, and about his mother giving him the money from their father’s wallet. It turned out to be almost two hundred dollars. The conversation only lasted about twenty minutes with both agreeing to drive as far as they could and maybe stop somewhere for the night when they got tired. Now neither had said much in the past half-hour. Janis eventually spoke.

“I think we should stop somewhere in the next city.”

“Okay.” Joseph mumbled as he struggled to pick his head up off the window and look at her.

Janis didn’t know what she was doing anymore. She hated him when she left the house. Now she was glad to have him with her again. At least for the company. She didn’t want to be alone right now. Janis didn’t want to admit it, but in her eyes Joseph almost redeemed himself by beating up their father. It wasn’t the act itself that she was proud of him for, but just the fact that he finally overcame his fear. He finally stood up for himself and for her. He seemed different now. He wouldn’t need her to baby him anymore; he just needed her to love him. Janis felt like she could.

Twenty minutes later they sat together in the cheapest motel room they could find. They had stopped briefly before at a local convenience store to buy supplies. Snacks, toiletries, and a small first-aid kit which Janis used now to bandage Joseph hands. Not all of the blood was his father’s. Joseph had cut his knuckles fairly bad somehow when he was landing blow after blow across his father’s face.

The silence was awkward. He had hoped she would have been happier to have him here with her. But he couldn’t blame her for her silence. Joseph sat on the edge of the bed with Janis kneeling on the floor in front of him. He watched her face as she wrapped the bandage around his hand and between his fingers. She looked beautiful to him. Her kind eyes concentrated on his hands; her soft fingers caressing his. Her face looked delicate and pale. It was hard not to notice the bruise appearing on her cheek courtesy of their father’s angry hand. Joseph almost wished he had killed him.

Janis finished securing the bandage and was about to stand when Joseph reached out to touch her face. Janis felt his fingers stroking her chin and she now looked up at him. A single tear fell from her eye as she stared at him. She stayed like that for a few seconds, feeling his fingers run across her chin and down to her neck. She eventually reached up with her own hand and held his against her neck.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again.” Janis whispered.

“What?” Joseph whispered back.

“You really hurt me, Joseph. You acted like it was all my fault, it was like they told you I was evil and you believed them.”

“No, Janis, I didn’t think that at all. I honestly didn’t know what to think.” Joseph leaned in closer to her. He wanted her to know she had all of his attention. He was willing to listen to her frustrations about him. Mostly, he wanted to know what he could do to make it up to her.

“The worst part of it,” Janis continued, her lips and voice quivering, “the worst was felling like you didn’t care about me. To watch you just sit there the whole time not sticking up for me or even yourself; it really hurt. I had no choice but to assume you didn’t really love me.”

Joseph moved off the bed and knelt on the floor next to his sister. He put both his bandaged hands on her shoulders and she looked down trying to hide her tears. “I can’t even begin to understand how that made you feel. I realize now how badly my inaction was hurting you. Our parents scared me, the doctor confused me, but I never stopped loving you. Okay?”

Janis nodded, “Okay.”

“You have to tell me what I can do to make it up to you. I want to make it up to you.” Joseph pulled her in closer and wrapped his arms around her. Janis held him back and laid her teary face on his shoulder.

“Just don’t ever do that again. You can make it up to me by promising you’ll never betray me like that again because I can’t take that. Not from you, Joseph.”

“I promise, I won’t. I promise to always love you.” Joseph spoke into her ear.

“I’ll always love you too.” Janis replied. She lifted her head off his shoulder and leaned in to kiss him. Joseph met her kiss and felt overjoyed to be given such a gift. It was not a passionate kiss, but more like a loving kiss a couple might have after being apart for a long time. The kiss lasted a long time and it was exactly what they both needed right then.

When they were finally able to break away from each other Joseph ran his hands through her hair. “Does this mean I am forgiven?” He asked.

“Not yet.” Janis looked at him with that sexy smile he loved. She stood up and raised Joseph to his feet also. Janis turned and fell backward onto the bed and scooted up to the headboard. She motioned for Joseph to follow and he climbed onto the bed and laid himself next to her. They both smiled at each other for a second and locked lips once again. This kiss was far more passionate. He tasted her tongue as she ran it across his lips. He gently kissed her tongue before moving his inside her mouth.

Without breaking the kiss they blindly began to remove each other’s clothes. Joseph started with the buttons on her blouse, exposing the lacey bra hidden underneath. Janis pulled at Joseph making him lay more on top of her. She spread her legs a little letting him rest between them. She moved his shirt up off his back but couldn’t completely get it off all the way unless they broke their kiss. Neither wanted to stop the lovemaking between their lips and tongues.