All Comments on 'Sierra's Identity Change Ch. 02'

There were more than enough comments for part 1 about how ridiculous blackmail would be since anyone with half a brain knows it would be never ending (especially someone jaded like Pamela who was in the porn industry). Raginrhinoman has had the Pastor introduce the topic of going out to marry a promiscuous woman in his sermons. Does the Pastor know and is looking to minimize future problems or is this just serendipity? The question for the story isn't how will Paul play it, the question is how will raginrhinoman play it? Will he attempt the predictable route or will he be creative and give us something new. As I said at the beginning, there were more than enough comments about this for part 1. So far he hasn't gone there. I'll reserve judgement until I see which direction the story takes.

A porn star with $500000 fortune to hid herself from future children but the world.

The all story's problem is this and an ex pornstar with kids would have been more interesting plot line......I think she would get the children custody if she had admitted her past and her pastor husband had divorced her for her past in that case she could show at the court she would not be unfit mother......but we wait for the next chapters. A pregnant wife could fix the story in the 3th chapter.............Pregnancy from her husband what she would notice in the next chapter and the wishing for kids could explain the ex pornstar's motivation for identity change. It may be this is not late. With $500000 why she did identity change???????????????????????

Duna

The question is, does the author have an original idea to finish this tale? I'd really like to see it play out different than the usual way we've read in many tales. Bring on chapter three...

trying to stay unknown are opposite endeavors. It makes no sense.

I see this sadly going towards blackmail and Pam feeling cornered. Once again a female character will lack "character" and succumb to the intentions of the freakish porn junkie. Instead if realizing that it would be best of all to confess her past to her husband and trust his love and commitment to Christian forgiveness she will try to continue to hide who she was and do something moronic with douchebag Paul. Unfortunately, confession would make for a short story without drama (or cuckolding). UGH!

You're trying to hid and you have a web page? Did you proof read this? Boy was this dumb.

regarding PLOT....

BUT

You didn't give a shit when it came to everyone who told you that you needed to make the chapters longer.

Sorry, but whatever way you think this story will go, whether original idea, or still same old cliche....

YOU NEED TO BRING MORE TO THE TABLE WHEN IT COMES TO CHAPTER LENGTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My simple, and unoriginal advice is to COMPLETELY DRAFT OUT THIS STORY before you post any more.

Take it wherever YOU want it to go. Combine chapters until each post is at least 3-5 pages (AFTER lit publishes). And then let your readers KNOW that this is a complete story, and thank them for their patience.

Believe it or not, bringing your readers on board with you will HELP this story's reception.

Your cryptic mystery: "will she or won't she" gambit, will alienate more than it will enchant.

Chapter two must have pissed off over half of the folks who opened up your story out of base curiousity alone. The readers you have left will...

CRUCIFY you

if the next chapter

a)brings no further character development

b)brings no rapid acceleration of the plotline

c)MOST IMPORTANT- contains only one page of text.

Think about your audience, and less about your fears.

Take a risk.

Stand up and deliver.

And then maybe

just maybe,

You can pull this story the rest of the way out of your ass............

Good Luck!

Just as I don't like the cheaters to win, I hate blackmailers to win. Generally, authors think the best fantasy is to make the victim do sexy and degrading things. But what about the victim getting vengeance on her blackmailer, preferably with hubby's help.

It is too long between relatively short chapters, with very little plot development in each chapter. You don't need to submit each part as soon as its completed. I suggest you wait until its finished, then review each chapters contribution to the whole. Gives you lots of editing and rewrite opportunities.

.....accepting that a porn star could sit still for and be happy and satisfied with just one man for three months, let alone 3 years, how is her cyber stalker going get his comeuppance? Will hers be that the man she loves knows she's a whore.

This last scene, where he's a-preachin' about Hosea's harlot wife seems eerily prophetic. Almost like he already knows or suspects, or, more likely, is compensating for the "unusual" sex they had the other night. I can imagine something that far out of his comfort zone, would make a very conservative preacher squirm over the safety of his immortal soul....tame as it might seem to the rest of us.

Meanwhile, she's entering a world of worry (she's always "at work" keeping things under control and her past out of visible range) and risk.

If the geek fucks her, I'll be major pissed at you. That kind of weenie move would demean the whole potential of the story.....and frankly, I like it too much to this point to see it get stupid.....just sayin'.....

Thanks for an entertaining story.

You have fulfilled the promise of the first installment, by keeping the tension high and further developing the story in an interesting manner. Let's see where we go in Chapt 3.

Go Discovery channel on him??? Cut the pimply fuck into chunks, Chum for sharks.

Damn worm done caught her. Preacher gone fix to find out he married that promiscuous woman.