Sins of Joy Ch. 01

I do not know from where I got all this courage and with out any intention I answered "Like you." I smiled nonchalantly at smiled nonchalantly at her, who froze for a moment.

"Like Me? What do you mean?" She moistened her lips and asked with a nonspecific smile.

I answered, "I mean pretty, attractive and beautiful like you." She looked stunned at me for a moment, clearly embarrassed. She did not know what to say and stared at me for a few seconds. Then a whimsical smile crinkled her lips as she answered quietly, "Jawad, you make fun of me, Dear. I am not beautiful." I knew she was affected by me, in a sexual way. She moved as though she was about to stand up when I touched her to stop her.

I pulled her to me and held onto her hand firmly, "No! I am not lying, Shahida Bhabi. You are the most beautiful lady in my eyes, you look great to me always!" I said to her passionately.

"Thank you, Jawad!" Shahida Bhabi uttered quietly.

She was blushing from head to toe, looking me in a strange way. Victory was in sight!

I pulled her to me and sat her on my lap; she was looking like a doll in my lap, this was my first attempt to touch her. Shahida Bhabi was softer and warmer than my wildest dreams. She was reluctant and tried to get up but couldn't because of my embracing arms.

Her breast, though firmly held in place by her fabric, touched my body. I was in heaven. She looked at me for a few seconds with big sad eyes, as she was like in a trance, Her face grew red instantly as I leaned my head over her and whispered: "Shahida Bhabi you are so soft, so full, so ripe, so hot, so humid. " As I looked down, our lips were just a couple of inches from each other's. I had no hesitation whatsoever in planting my lips on hers as she grew stiff in my hands. I put my lips on her lips and kissed her. Even though I was sucking her lips, she didn't respond as I expected. I placed my hand on her breast and started palming her nipples feeling them erecting under my gentle touching. I squeezed her breasts, she was breathing heavily, panting for breath. I simply could not believe that it was not a dream. Suddenly she became a little angry and pushed me away, saying,

"What is this nonsense, Jawad?" she asked and it was an angry quiet sound like I'd never heard from her before.

She released herself from my grip; breaking away from me, me and adjusted her dupatta (head/neck long scarf) and her clothing, stood up and placing her hands gracefully on her hips took up an angry pose. Then she looked directly into my eyes and said. "What the hell do you think you are up to?" She screamed. "Jawad, I love you, I love you like my Brother! Is it normal for someone to want to fuck her Brother, or, for you, to want to fuck your Sister? You never heard Bhabi is just like one's sister. Have you no shame?" " It was hard for me to read her face, I had the feeling she was insincere. She wanted me to argue with her.

I was totally pissed off and I did not know what to say to her. I felt disappointed for a moment to have come so close to enjoy my dream lady, whom I have fantasized for more than three years.

"Either I was totally wrong in my thinking about you or are you really a bad character? Or, maybe something has shocked you. You think that I am a whore? What is it, Jawad? You did prove yourself very cheap," She placed a finger on her lips. She looked so fragile, so innocent. She was shaking a little, in anger or may be in fear.

I was embarrassed, for the first time in my life; I thought I would die of embarrassment, Standing right in front of Shahida bhabi with down head and silent, I couldn't help staring at her.

I was speechless for a moment. For a few seconds the room remained silent to the hilt with the only exception of the noise of the heavy rain getting in through the ventilators. The most perfect moment had come and slipped away. I simply couldn't look her in the eyes, I felt totally deflated as if someone had punctured my ego. I was at a banquet with no appetite. It was as if something between us had broken. I could not believe how stupid I had been to bring myself into this situation. The Earth resumed its movement. And my brain started to work again, although a bit sluggishly; "Sure, OK! Look, I am very sorry! I did not mean to... I am so sorry Shahida Bhabi I didn't mean to treat you badly, to cheapen this moment. I thought you liked it. Liked me enough to..."I stumbled for words, " I think I should not have done that. But when I felt your beautiful body, so warm in my arms and under my touch...I got carried away. Of course that was not correct of me. You are Sajad's, my friend's wife. But, saying that, it feels just too wonderful when I touch you, I wanted to just hold you in my arms, nothing more than that. It was rash of me. I was not thinking . . . " she held up his hand to stop me.

"No need to be sorry, it's all right Jawad, What do I owe you? I understand. I feel that you are making me pay for your kindness to me and to my children by asking me to do this thing with you. I don't want to pay you back by doing these things with you. I hope you understand. Don't worry, I will not tell anyone, we should better forget whatever happened tonight, and should try to keep our relationship untainted as before if possible, " She said. "And I think it would be better if you go now." Shahida bhabi added. Her words hit me like a hammer between my eyes. I walked up and reached for a glass of water from the table beside her. "It's OK, as you wish" I said with frustration, when I drunk. She left me and turned and walked into her bedroom and quietly shut the door. An impenetrable able barrier.

I had feared all these obstacles from the beginning, I had tried to fight them off, be ready with answers to convince her it was right and what we both wanted. I waited there for some time. But she didn't come back.

So I left her house with my tail between my legs, like a beaten dog, swearing that I would never again humiliate myself in the manner again. As I sat silently in my car, I wondered what to do and where to go. I was angry, embarrassed, confused, and yes, still excited. I drove around more or less aimlessly for an hour. I thought about what I'd just done, and I realized that I did nothing so wrong. I tried to tell myself to forget what had happened and forget her, forget Shahida for the rest of my so miserable life and to just concentrate on my driving, further way from her, to my home, to my empty four walls. How I did it, I do not know, finally defeating my anxiety I reached my home safely.

I changed and slipped into bed very upset, and was feeling very ashamed and guilty, and then, the phone rang, pulling myself back up from my pit of despair. It was my blessed, Shahida Bhabi! She just wanted to know, whether I reached to home? Then she hung up before I could answer. I was so very confused, and was thinking that I shouldn't do anything. I could see the heavy rains lashing outside through the bedroom windows, nothing compared to my sadness, which were pouring through my eyes.

My mind was in turmoil. I tried but for me, sleep wouldn't come all night. I was incredibly confused, every time I closed my eyes I saw angry Shahida Bhabi's. I'll never forget the look on her face the first time I touched her. She was surprised; her checks were red and her lips were white. I had done something that made me feel guilty and embarrassed me, yet I would do it again if I got the chance.

At midnight I phoned her back a couple of times, each time I found a busy tone.

Possibly she intentionally disconnected the line because she doesn't want to talk with me. Over the whole night, I couldn't sleep.

I went to her home the next evening. The children said, "Mom went out as she has got some work to do."

I waited along time, but she did not come. She never goes out, especially at night times. I left her home disheartened. It was midnight when I tried to talk to her over the phone but found the line busy again.

I thought, over and over, was it wrong to tell her that she was beautiful? Was it wrong to kiss her? Was it wrong to feel and caress her breasts? Was it wrong to want to fuck her? I know she wanted me to. There were So many questions but no answers. Just an echo of my stupidity.

I could not sleep that night again. I got angry I decided not to meet her, till she called me. Begged me. Then, when she didn't, I didn't want to go to her home as usual or try to call her! I was falling into an abyss of depression, deeper and deeper. Countless days of waiting for her to phone, but she didn't.

The following days were very hard for me and I spent a very frustrating week. I took it hard; especially since I now knew Shahida Bhabi obviously didn't have the same feelings towards me as I have towards her. I tried my best, but couldn't get her out of my head. Six more days passed. I was angry, at both if us, Shahida Bhabi and me. Me for the stupidity, and with Shahida Bhabi for not forgiving me. On seventh day I got a call from her at my office. She talked briefly, asking why I had not called... her! Why I had not come to her house?

I told her I tried to many times to call her, but you didn't respond to me! I thought that you hadn't forgiven me and were still angry, so I thought that you didn't want to meet me!

She just said, "If I was angry, then it was not your duty to adore me?"

"Sorry, Bhabi, I thought but knew you never . . ." I replied with defeating tone.

She said with mock anger, "We will discuss it some other time, but the children are very upset and want to know why their uncle doesn't come over. They miss you and want to see you."

Then she said she was so sorry and asked me, "Would you mind visiting my house this evening? There's so much we need to talk about." she pleaded that, because she needed my help with something very important. She reminded me that I had promised Sajad to help her in all her needs.

"Is this a request or an order?" I inquired jokingly.

"This is an order from your Shahida Bhabi." she said naughtily and then said, "Bye!"

After that I couldn't concentrate on my office work so I abandoned everything and rushed to her house with my heart in my mouth, I was a little nervous about what Shahida Bhabi had planned. When I walked towards the front door. My heart began to beat harder just at the thought of seeing Shahida Bhabi again. I found Shahida Bhabi in the Drawing Room, with her children.

As I entered the Drawing room, my heart melted when I didn't see any sign of anger on her face. Shahida bhabi greeted me with the same friendliness and smile as always, and behaved me as if nothing had happened. Gazing into my eyes and gave me a neutral welcoming smile, "Please, sit down, I'm really glad you came, Jawad." She said in low voice, still gazing at me as though trying to give me a hidden message. Shahida Bhabi was looking even more exciting than ever. She didn't seem as arrogant as she was that night. Chatting with my nephews again was a delight to me, as it seemed to be with them, which was evident by the laughter in their eyes and manner.

We were like a family group enjoying a familiar pastime for at least an hour or so. Shahida Bhabi was laughing, quite gaily as if content with things. From time to time I held her gaze and I could read in her eyes anxiety and need. There was nothing untoward happened that night, much to my disappointment. Shahida wants me! I know she does! I hoped I was reading the right message in her eyes and attitude towards me this time.

After half and hour the children went to sleep. We sat in silence sipping our tea. Low cut V-shape neckline of her qameez was allowing me to get a look at her cleavage and the top of her bra covered breast, whenever she bent down to pick up her cup from the small table in front of us. Her black bra was also visible through the silky material.

We both sipped our drinks in silence for a bit and didn't talk for the first few minutes. I was looking at her, observing her and it was obvious she wanted to say something more but was not able to. "So, what are you going to do with me now Bhabi?" Finally I asked Shahida Bhabi, breaking her thoughts, who sipping her tea gracefully and was looking at the TV. She looked to me to be a bit confused. As if she was trying to make up her mind about something. We were both still shy of each other.

"Well, I'm not too sure right now. What I should have do with you," bhabi took a deep breath and said.

After some time she slowly moved over and sat on the edge of sofa beside me and surprisingly apologised to me. Shahida bhabi was all neat and smelling sweetly of rose water. She reached over and slowly placed her hand upon my hand and squeezed tenderly. She toke hold of my hand in her hand. This was usual for us to sit beside each other, sometimes quite closely on one sofa but taking my hand to be really a surprising for me, as she had never touched me before, my head lifted from my shoulders with joy, at last I over came her obstinacy. She kept her eyes on me.

"I'm afraid I've spoiled your plans for the evening," Shahida Bhabi apologized.

"Nonsense!" I replied. "After all, it was you who made this into a date of sorts. Sitting this close to you is as equally as dangerous for us as it was last time, My Bhabi."

She took my head in her hands. With her eyes close to mine, she looked at me with her big blue eyes very lovingly and asked me "Jawad you still angry with me?"

"No, Bhabi, I am not, you were angry with me," I replied.

"I know I hurt you, but I'm really sorry I was rude to you." So, what do you want me to do, beg for forgiveness "

"No Bhabi! Don't you, I should plea for forgiveness. I didn't appreciate the way that happened, but I just wanted only things to be all right between us. You and I are attracted to each other you know that. We have been from the time we first met. I touched you because it was compulsive, I could not help myself. You punished me because of your beauty." I replied.

"Jawad you are right, I was angry when you touched me, you did something to me that only my husband could do with me." Her tone was sad. She continued, "Nobody else has ever touched me like that in the places where you touched me."

I said, "Sorry Bhabi, really I am. What I did was not good. I know no one could take Sajad's place, I didn't know you wouldn't like the things that I did? I am very sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. Things sometimes happen that way. We were always friends and would be and I think I was an idiot to become angry. She was almost weeping and murmuring things under her breathe. I wanted to soothe her, run my fingers through her hair, but was afraid to touch her. Once again I held her hand and said, "Bhabi I am sorry, but things I did to you were only because I am deeply in love with you, Bhabi I am crazy about you. So, what do you want me to do? I love you. You are just out of this world. I'm sorry if you are upset over what happened that night, but I am not going to apologies for it. I have wanted you for years. You have always been the object of my fantasies. Come on Bhabi, share your thoughts with me, may be I help you," I said.

"I don't know, how I can? I am very simple woman. I have been very faithful to my husband. He has also been a very good husband. He has loved me from the deep of his heart, we have a very trusting and loving relationship." She said.

"I understand and I have seen this, but also love you and you know I've never tried but now fate had brought this. Now, it was up to you to make it last. Don't kill me bhabi, you're killing me, slowly but surely." I said it with a confidence.

"Me? Am I killing you?" she asked with fear.

"Yes! Bhabi you're killing me, when you're acting like this." I said." please Bhabi Put all of the sadness and bad thoughts out of your mind, and think about the good times. You know, there are plenty of them. Lets we do it, just do it. You'll be glad you did," I pleaded and then added," I guess I'm making a fool of myself again."

Bhabi looked at me and said, "Thank you, you are very nice to us, now please forget it and be normal. That's in the past," she added. "We can't change that. You did what you did. I did what I did." " She laughed. "I trust you, Jawad. I know you love me," she added.

Her eyes started talking some special language, and said "You're naughty." she pulled back her hand from mine. But she was smiling and her eyes were glittering. Was she playing with me? Flirting with me? Or, did I see love in her eyes, love for me? "No, It was an invitation and without hesitation, I took it."

I grabbed her hand again, I pulled her to me, and she snuggled up close to me. Immediately I felt her warmth and I was breathing in her intimate body aroma issuing from her sexy body. Her body molded into mine and I savored the feel of warm body for the first time in nearly four years. We groped each other for a few minutes; it was an almost strange emotion for me, as I hadn't touched someone with any sort of affection since my wife died. I allowed my hands to touch her and trace her smooth body, only then noticing that she was trembling as much as I was. Then, just as abruptly she got up from me, " Are you doing that again? Don't do, the children may see." She whispered making a play-acting look of angry disapproval.

I laughed and said, "I am doing nothing just holding my sweet Bhabi close to me, and I know that the children are sleeping."

"I am nervous, Jawad, promise, you will not cross the limit." She said haltingly. I could still sense a flicker of fear and hesitation in her eyes.

"Okay, I promise I wouldn't do anything without your permission."

"But won't the children come to know?" she blushed and took her hands to cover her face.

"How will they? We are not going to announce it and we will meet like before. Don't worry Bhabi." She was quite shy at first, but soon got into it.

Again she pulled her hand back and lay back on another sofa with an alluring smile on her face. Was she prick teasing me again? Was it possible? This was the best signal I had received from her so far.

I was thinking of many options at a time. Should I proceed further? Is it my first day after so many years of fantasy and dreams to fuck her? Do we have enough time right now to complete the whole act here on the sofa of her choice? Is it safe to start here? Will she be angry if I proceed further? Will she be so angry that our relationship will be at an end?

Even with my head buzzing with all those questions I still wanted to fuck her. After a long time being patient, approximately 3 years to come to this point I can't, I must not miss this opportunity. Because I know the time has come. Soon I would be in bed with Shahida Bhabi. Sitting on the other sofa I started chatting with her and actually praising her beauty. I praised her earlier as well but those more generalized; now I am specific. I told how nice and appealing she is, how sexy her figure was to my eyes, how horny her delectable ass made me feel. How I wanted to possess her and her delectable ass. She laughed, smiled glitteringly and whispered, " You are so naughty Jawad."

I went to her sofa and sat very close to her and immediately embraced her, she was a bit shy and happy too. Then she asked me, "Would it be correct for us, Jawad?" pausing to take a hurried breath and continued, "Are you sure this is what you want, Jawad? I'd do almost anything for you, but I have to know, would you keep our relationship with me, the same as it is now? Wouldn't you think of me as a whore? Would you still give me respect, the same respect that you are giving me now? You're the only man who asked me to do this other than my husband. Do you understand me Jawad?"

"Yes! I understand you, my sweet Bhabi?"

"I need you, Jawad, but I don't want to use you. Do you understand?" she took my hand close to her face, and this time did indeed plant a soft tender kiss. she kept looking into my eyes.