by mushthecooler
I love the story and would like to see this story to its conclusion.
I want you to to take this as a suggestion for future stories.
I noticed that the first of this story was a repeat of "Xmas Surprise at the Murphy's".
While some flashbacks can remind the reader of the story-line, I think this was a bit line. Maybe begin with a recap but not exact quotes. Or better yet, give an introduction letting the reader know that this was part two and part one is titled "Xmas Surprise at the Murphy's."
Lizzy only realized she was a slut after David called her one? Dense, isn't she? Literotica won't allow the grandkids to be brought into the story, so the clowns and the animals is about all that's left, isn't it? Chances of me reading the further adventures of the Murphy's: 0%.
any writer with half a brain knows that all chapters of a series have to have the same title just numbered you can't expect readers to go looking for the other chapters when you are stupid enough to give them all different titles
I have just found your stories on the Murphy family, I liked the story line, so can we have another part please
the foreshadowing tells me it is only going to get worse.
not interested in reading just how sick you can make the whole family.
this story is BAD on so many levels.......I know it's just a story BUT even a story should have SOMETHING at least a little realistic to it.
David is 8 years older than Lizzie & has been in college for how many years & living in So Cal to boot. YET he sees a pussy & goes completely STUPID. He's 26 & has absolutely NO CONTROL over himself? WTF???
Lizzie gets thrown out of the house naked & beat up, David finds her, wraps her in a blanket, finds a cab & she tries to play with his dick in the cab? REALLY???
This seems like it's written by a 16 year old with an over active imagination.
I could go on, but WHY????