All Comments on 'Soccer Dad'

Definitely a great story. I was definitely sad that the sex scene was so short. So much build up for such a small release! Definitely would have rather seen them fucking, him riding her like a bull, maybe a bit of bondage, finding out the different ways he uses her throughout the week. But that's just me :)

Oh, and your writing style is superb, but I'd definitely try and proof read a little better. Little grammatical and punctuation errors popped up every now and then and it's a shame. I know it happens to the best of us, but try to keep an eye out. Other than that, solid read!

Why didn't Phil go after Lilly as soon as her ex was dead? He could have been around to Jenny to console her on the loss of the father of her children, I suppose.

See the title. I don't expect the ideas to be innovative -- how many different ways can one have sex? But the writing itself is bad. It's full of cliches, it lacks imagination, it seems that it wasn't even proofread before submission (count the typos, some of which destroy the mood you're trying to create). This entry supports the old generalization that it's really hard to write about sex and do it well.

"ease dropped" made me laugh!

Missed the opportunity to write a magnificent story! You started off well, but then wrapped up all of a sudden.