Something in the Water

It was early enough that not too many people had come out just yet, so I had the luxury of a very quiet, very tranquil moment to myself.

"You look peaceful." that familiar rumble again, I needn't look up to know who it belonged to.

"I guess I didn't know how much I needed a vacation until I was actually here." I said, eyes still closed.

"Why did you come here anyway? I mean, Mexico?" it was then that I opened my eyes and looked over at a sight I'd thankfully forgotten but would never forget again. His body was still a masterpiece. With his smooth bare chest, tanned into a healthy, juicy olive, and his legs long and smooth and muscular, Robert glistened as he spread his long body on its side, facing me, on a chair. His smile was bright, his eyes hungry and serene, the dream came to mind and I felt a stirring deep within I'd tried to snuff out years ago.

"I think it's coz of the water, I don't know, but I wanted something different, somewhere new and not familiar. Whatever the reason, I'm glad I came here. And you, why are you here?"

"I've always loved this place; my parents honeymooned here and brought us with when we were kids. I remember feeling like everything in the world was just right while playing in that ocean. It's the happiest memory in my life, next to the memory of when you agreed to be my boyfriend in eighth grade." he laughed good naturedly at the memory.

"Well I thought you were trying to bully me, took me a whole month to figure out that you weren't trying to be mean, and two more months after that to pluck up the courage to agree to be friends with you and then you strong-armed me into being your boyfriend after you stole a kiss on the fourth of July." I laughed heartily at the now vivid memory. This is the Robert I'd missed; the easy going friend I'd grown up with. This was the Robert I had fallen in love with, this is the Robert I was hungry for.

"You were always blind to how many guys secretly wanted to date you; you were always the silent, beautiful boy who kept to himself and lived life on his own terms."

The memory of the many guys that fawned over him broke through, distracting me, haunting me. The memory of Robert walking seductively over to my best friend at the time, how his strong body jumping onto our bed, draping itself over Mike while his hands caressed every inch of his body, it all came rushing back to me.

"I always knew you wanted me." Mike had said, I stood there, by the barely closed door, willing my body to move, to do anything, but I was stuck.

"You're so fucken hot, damn!" Robert had groaned. I watched as he straddled Mike's chest, as he grabbed Mike's head full of hair, pulled it towards his protruding member and forced him onto it. The look of pure joy on Robert's face took my breath away; he'd never looked like that when we were together. He was in his element; he was being worshipped just as he'd always wanted to be. His hard cock glistened with my best friend's saliva, twitching eagerly as it moved deeper into his mouth.

"Fuck, I want to cum inside that hole." Robert pulled away and grabbed Mike by the waist.

"Fuck me, Robby; use me big boy." Mike whined that pathetic whine of his. I felt my skin crawl, I wanted to run, to barge in and to stop this madness, but I couldn't move.

Robert rubbed his cock over Mike's ass, pulsing gently against Mike's hole.

"I'm going to shove this without any preparation, you whore, then I'm going to fuck you until you beg me to stop, but I won't, you hear me?" Robert growled. He was everything he wanted to be in bed with me, but I wouldn't let him. He was dominant, demanding, and violent as he thrust without so much as a care for Mike's feelings. I watched as Robert abused Mike's ass with each deranged thrust, I watched as Mike begged for him to fuck him harder and faster.

"Fuck me like you fuck Andrew, fuck me like I'm your bitch." Mike begged, Robert shoved his head against a pillow, shutting him up. I should have been happy, I should have recognised the little part of Robert that still held me sacred and respected me, but I was staring at the man I loved, the man who had promised to love and protect me and to spend every waking moment proving his love for me, fuck another man.

It took them forty five minutes before they'd both cum and were spent. It took me five more to walk downstairs, slam the front as though I'd just walked in and walk up the stairs to find two people who I thought loved me, scurrying to get clothed and apologising in the process.

"Don't think about it, I was an idiot, fight past those demons." Robert encouraged while I stared him deep in the eye, praying to get back on my path to healing, but wishing I could slap the shit out of him.

I cleared my throat and my head, smiled at him and continued on with our discussion.

"I don't remember it that way at all. I remember being the smallest in every class, being terrified that someone would throw me in my locker or attack me in the toilets or whatever. I lived in fear, less so when you were around, but I definitely never had any admirers." I contested. I was happy with the quiet life I'd lived. I was never the loud one, nor was I the most popular, I was just me. Nobody had ever called me beautiful, except of course Robert when he wanted to get into my pants and in the first two years of our relationship. I was too feminine, too quiet to be of any interest to anyone.

"No, no, no, you were the most beautiful boy in school. How did you not see this? Nobody bullied you because they were entranced by you; the girls thought you were cute. The boys may not have thought much about you, but the ones that swung your way were always trying to get your attention, you just never noticed anything unless it screamed in your face. College was a mess for me, I had to pull more than one guy aside to set them straight or I would have lost you to someone a lot more deserving. You're incredibly stunning, I hope you know that, Andrew." his words were a confusing, yet welcome, balm for the ache that had begun to scab over. I'd faced the wound and it was healing.

I was quiet, not willing to engage any further with Robert about this topic, but he wasn't done yet.

"And last night, you have them pining over you young and old. You have a magic about you that draws people to you, it's inescapable, you're a rare find." his words were soothing, calming, absolving in some way and arousing. I'd never been spoken to, or of, in that way. I turned to him, prepared to risk it all, prepared to let bygones be bygones and drag him to my room when he beat me to it.

"You should fall in love again. Someone deserves to experience the magic that's you, someone deserves to be lucky enough to deserve you, you deserve to be happy and in love. I hurt you, for that I'm sorry, but you deserve to find something out of this world, you deserve more." he whispered. Before I could respond, the very familiar shrill of an excited Ethan pierced through the warm air, pulling me out of the moment I was about to have with Robert.

"Andrew!! Daddy look, here he is, this is my friend I was telling you about." I turned towards an excited Ethan and a very tired looking Big Ethan moving sluggishly behind. Ethan jumped into my arms as you would a long lost friend after years of being separated.

He giggled while I groaned playfully at the assault.

"Ethan buddy, what did we tell you about jumping on...anything really." he must have had an awful night, because Big Ethan sounded different, exhausted almost, hungover maybe. He moved like a man pulling his weight. His baggy shorts and buttoned up black shirt were a far cry from the shirtless tight trunk wearing man I'd seen the other day. His hair was the same platinum blond, but styled differently, and it was difficult to see his eyes behind those large shades. His chiselled jaw was covered in a gentle five o'clock shadow that still made him handsome, but the mere thought of those piercing grey eyes was enough to elicit a slight shiver down my spine.

"Hi there, my name's Allan, I'm Ethan's father. It's nice to finally meet you." he leaned forward with his outstretched arm. This couldn't be the same guy. I mean, it was him, I was sure of it, but he looked, different. Less, him. Maybe I was preoccupied when I'd last seen him, twice already, but I was sure that he was less, rubbery around the middle and more...

"Ah, I see you've met my brother, Aaron. We're twins, fraternal, but close enough that people have to double take to figure out who's who." he took off his glasses then and although they could have passed for identical, I could see the differences. Not so much in the face, but in their bodies, and the way they carried themselves.

"Oh, oh wow. That must be cool. I'm sorry, my name's Andrew." I leaned forward to accept his outstretched hand. His grip was soft, a little noncommittal and no sooner had we shook hands he was sitting on the beach chair next to mine.

"Andrew likes the ocean too, daddy. He likes to stand and pray and he likes to..." Ethan rambled excitedly on while his father groaned before interjecting.

"That's nice. Ethan. Why don't you go build sandcastles and I'll be with you in a minute." Allan suggested. Ethan squealed before running off to build himself an empire on sand.

"Not too far, buddy. I swear that kid has enough energy to run me into early retirement."

"He's definitely a spirited little guy, but he has a big heart."

"Yeah, get's it from his mother, god..." he cleared his throat, before turning to face me.

"I've heard a great deal about you, you seem to have quite a fan base. You here on your own?" he smirked knowingly. His grey eyes were just as intense as that of his brother's, but his held an air of mischief that was absent from Aaron's. I felt under the spot, I didn't know how to react.

"Oh well, I actually..." I turned to look at Robert, but he'd disappeared. Looking further up the beach, I saw his retreating back moving further away. The stab of disappointment was only just replaced by the sound of Allan's light laughter.

"I'm sorry for prying, it's just Ethan's taken a liking to you and...uhm... what I mean to say is... oh god I'm not a very good wingman right now, not in the state I'm in." He settled back down on the chair, allowing the exhaustion to take over his body. Nothing he said made any sense, but Ethan's delightful squeal pulled me away from the clearly hungover man beside me.

"Rough night I take."

"Rough four years. It's the anniversary of my wife's death; Ethan's mother." Just then he sounded like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. The sound of anguish crept into his voice and before he could say anything else, he put on his shades and retreated from the world.

"I'm sorry to hear that." was all I could say. Loss had touched me a long time ago; my parents had abandoned my sister and me when we were kids. We'd moved from foster home to foster home until she'd become my legal guardian. I didn't have it in me to miss them anymore than they missed me.

"It's still hard; more so because I know Ethan misses her so much. I miss her too, but my son, he needs a mother, his mother. We do this every year, as a way to distract him, but it's getting harder and harder." his voice cracked in the end, going quieter and quieter with each word. I turned to face him before speaking.

"You're a father, your instinct is to protect him from the world, and loss is an ugly part of the world so it's okay to want to shield him from it. But you're also human, also a grieving husband and a man; you need to allow yourself to grieve and accept the loss of your wife so you can best help Ethan begin grieving once the reality hits him, and it will. He's too young to fully understand it now, but when he's older, he'll feel it then and he'll need you good and ready, and strong enough to help him through it."

"It's just so hard; I don't know how to get through the days without her. He's just like her; loving, kind, honest, open to the world, I look at him and I see her every day, and I lose her every day. I just..." he wept openly, the kind of weeping pulled from a place teeming with raw untapped pain. I sat up and faced him, allowing him his moment, allowing his tears to fall and his wounds to show before doing what I can to begin his healing process, just as mine had begun.

"It's okay, let it out, it's unfair, it really is. You had an entire life planned, a beautiful family to grow and now it's just you and your son, I know. Let it hurt, let it all out, but don't let it consume you. You have an incredibly resilient son, who loves even when he has lost and you have a support system ready to hold you up if you feel like crumbling down, it's okay. You had her when you needed her, and she left you the most precious gift you could have ever asked for." just then Ethan laughed heartily at his collapsing tower, before working to build it back up.

"And you had a chance to say goodbye. You had your moment with her, you had your farewell. She loved you 'till the very end and she'll forever be with you." I wasn't sure if what I was saying would help or if it was true, but he needed the words of encouragement.

"He's right, she said her goodbye, just as you were able to; rest easy knowing that she's in a better place now." The soft rumble from who I now knew as Aaron moved through me like the warm tides of the Indian ocean. I looked up to find his intense grey eyes staring into my pale blue ones. I couldn't figure him out; was he mad at me for something, or what? Aaron cleared his throat and looked down at his brother, while gently rubbing his arm.

"Maybe you should go back to your room, I'll stay behind and keep an eye on Ethan." Allan sniffled and nodded before pulling himself up and moving towards the resort.

There I was, sitting next to the frowning hot guy who is actually Ethan's uncle, who for some reason disliked me.

"Thank you for that." he finally said. I couldn't turn to look at him; for fear that he'd probably be frowning.

"It's nothing." I mumbled, keeping an eye out on the very entertained Ethan and his growing sandcastle village.

"It's a lot more than anyone has done, including myself. Thank you." This time I turned to face him. His frown had disappeared and was now replaced with a softer, less apprehensive and offended look. He was beautiful, truly beautiful in the manly man kind of way. Something about the way his body naturally looked athletic without it trying too hard had me needing to snuggle closer to him, to have his arms wrapped around me. He was inviting, warm and...

"I'm sorry if I appeared...cold. It's just, I'm protective over Ethan and, he's very trusting and the world is filled with all sorts of people, I just didn't want him to get mixed up with.." he blushed, probably because he was trying to tell me that he wasn't sure if I was a child predator so he had to keep me at arm's length, but now he trusts me a little more.

"It's okay. I have a nephew who's around his age and I would snap necks and ask questions later if I felt like anything untoward might even be sniffing in his direction." he smiled knowingly then, opening up a little more to me, it was beautiful to watch him unfurl before me. He brightened up and appeared younger, probably in his late twenties.

"I'm Aaron by the way." he reached out his hand.

"I'm Andrew." he already knew that, but formal introductions hadn't been made. At first contact, my entire body shivered. There was something about this man, something frighteningly right about this gloriously gorgeous man that shook me in ways I hadn't expected. Not even Robert had been able to pull such a carnal reaction from me.

His eyes grew darker, his breathing more laboured and his grip tighter while we stared into each other's eyes.

"Hey Uncle Aaron, I want to go swim." Ethan came running towards us, bouncing like a sugar high energizer bunny. Aaron reluctantly let go and turned towards his nephew.

"Looks like we're going shark hunting." he growled playfully at Ethan before standing to his full height, taking off his shirt to expose that glorious hairy chest and abs with a delicious treasure trail moving confidently to depths I wouldn't have minded seeing, and picking up the little guy.

"Come on Uncle Andrew, come hunt sharks with us." Ethan squealed. I liked the sound of that, it warmed the cockles of my heart. I turned to look for Robert one more time but found no sight of him. That was when I noticed Aaron's outstretched hand and his mischievous grin.

"Come on, Uncle Andrew, join us while we hunt sharks." the warmth in his smile had my heart skipping a beat. Ethan looked at me with the hope of a kid on the night before Christmas and I couldn't find it in me to refuse. I grabbed hold of Aaron's hand and off the three of us went.

The water was warm, the company was even warmer. Ethan laughed, tumbled along with the waves, I held onto him, he clung onto me, I tumbled with the waves as well, Aaron held onto both of us, we all laughed while in Aaron's arms, everything was perfect.

"I like you, Uncle Andrew, you make uncle Aaron laugh." yawned little Ethan, his eyes growing heavier while in both my and Aaron's arms. I looked at the little guy, my heart growing bigger just by knowing him and his family. I looked up at Aaron, to find him staring at me just as intensely as before. What was once misconstrued as a frown, turned out to be hunger. His grey eyes shone with it, like a predator staring into the eyes of his prey. His lips, full and pink inched closer. The air around us disappeared, my heart beat faster, his foot moved over my own underwater, and something hard and substantial rubbed against my waist, and just as I was about to close my eyes, the glimmer of a platinum wedding band broke the spell.

I turned towards it, stared at the glaringly bright band and turned back to Aaron.

"I should go." I whispered before handing an already fast asleep Ethan to a confused Aaron.

"Wait, what just..." before he could finish his sentence, I knew that strong Andrew who wasn't a push over and who refused to be used needed to make an appearance again.

"I'm sorry, Aaron, I just recently got over a really bad relationship with someone who used me. It took me a while to forgive him or even understand everything, but I finally have and with that came the realisation that I won't be used anymore. You're a great uncle to an incredible little boy, but you're also married and I won't be someone's secret fling while it hurts someone who has no idea what's happening behind their back. So because of that, I have to go." I felt good about myself, stronger because I was able to take back my power and to stand up for myself. He didn't say anything, he didn't have to. I turned the other way and made my way to my chair before heading over to the resort.

This is why I'd come here; Robert's arrival had opened up a door to my healing and because of it, I was thankful.

It might not happen tonight, but I was now ready to move on.

I was at the bar waiting for my table to be made available, content with being by my own, not really hoping for anyone to join me, but was pleasantly surprised when Robert took the seat beside me.

"You look like the Andrew I knew when we first got together. There's hope in your eyes." he said, his voice smooth, lighter, not as heavy and as gruff as I remembered it, but calming and a lot more measured.

"Thank you, I feel... I don't know, stronger maybe. I think I should thank you for that." I turned towards him. He was wearing a cream white linen shirt with long beige pants that clung to him beautifully. Although he was stunning to look at, and his body begged to be touched, I felt nothing remotely sexual towards him. I was able to appreciate his beauty and let it be, without wanting to climb him. It's also worth mentioning that I no longer wanted to kill him; that was a major achievement on my part as well.