Soul Belongings

I went to my room, turned out the light, and crashed into bed curling up in a fetal position. I just wanted to forget this night ever happened. From down the hall I could hear the television on in my father’s room so I knew he wasn’t asleep yet. No matter how hard I tried not to think about it, the events of the night kept replaying in my mind. The more I thought about it the more foolish, ashamed, and miserable I felt. I tried so hard to shut out my thoughts, but they kept barraging me, over and over. I had ruined everything, I had alienated the only person I could ever rely on, and I was doomed to be utterly alone. For at least an hour I lay there being tortured by my own mind, it kept getting worse and I couldn’t stop it. I had long since started crying again, my face felt like it was burning, my stomach felt twisted in knots, and I thought I might lose my entire dinner. I felt like I was being smothered by my own thoughts, and the one message that clearly kept coming across was loneliness.

I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I got out of bed and warily made my way to my father’s room. I opened the door, he was in bed staring at the television but I could tell by the preoccupied look on his face his attention wasn’t on what was on the screen. He looked at me and was about to say something but before he could I put my hand out. “Please,” I begged blubbering through my tears, “please don’t turn me away daddy. I don’t care anymore if I can’t have you as a lover, I just want you as my daddy. I need you to hold me again tonight, please, I need that like I never have before. Just for tonight I need to be in your arms. That’s all I want now, I promise, I just don’t want to be alone, not tonight, please Daddy!” I was nearly hysterical as I made my plea.

My father threw back the covers on the bed and held out his arms to me. I ran into them crying like a baby. I got into bed and under the covers with him. He turned off the television leaving the room in total darkness. He then held me in his arms just like he did the night before. “Shhhhh…shhhh…Baby. Of course I wouldn’t turn you away…of course not.” He whispered softly into my ear as he stroked my hair. “You are my precious angel and I will always be here for you. I love you.” Over and over he repeated these words of solace, quieting my sobs, like a steady stream washing my woes away. Eventually I drifted off into a fitful sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up. My father’s arms were still around me but he had stopped his gentle whispers. I cold tell by the sound of his even breathing he was asleep. The memory of the entire night’s ordeal seemed to crash in upon me once more, hitting me like a fist to my gut. Tears started to come to my eyes once again at the unfairness of it all. It wasn’t fair that I couldn’t be with the man I loved just because of a notion that it was wrong in general. It may be wrong in general, but specifically it was right for me and I knew it was right for him. Who gives a fuck about a general notion when it doesn’t apply to them?

I turned around in my father’s arms so we were face to face. I stared at his beautiful face. It was dark, but there was light enough to vaguely make it out. I felt so much love for him; he was such a wonderful man. He only was trying to protect me. I could be upset for a lot of reasons, but not with him because of why he did what he did.

I stared at his face for what seemed an eternity until I could no longer resist the urge to kiss him. Just one kiss, I thought, and I came over and kissed his sweet lips. Then I kissed him again, and again. I kissed him hard and passionately. I rubbed my cheek up against his feeling the light and slightly rough hair stubble that had grown since he shaved that morning. I smelled his manly cologne on him and I felt on fire as I returned to kissing him, the more I kissed him the more I burned for him. He began to respond to my kisses in his sleep. I slipped my tongue inside his mouth and he slipped his in mine. I ran my hands over his body, his feel, smell, and taste drove me wild with desire. I ran my hand down his bare and robust chest, over small patches of silky chest hair. I ran my hand down further, over his flat stomach then down to his crotch. I could feel his cock through his boxer shorts and it was hard as a rock. I slipped my hand inside his shorts and grasped his firm member. His cock was larger than I expected and it titillated me to imagine what he could do with it. I rubbed my hand up and down on his cock luxuriating in the feel of the engorged muscle. I was lost to reason; all I had was an emotional need to be connected with this man in the most intimate way possible. I needed him inside me and I needed him now.

I raised my nightshirt up over my heaving breasts, my nipples were erect and stone-hard, then the nightshirt went up over my head and I tossed it to the floor as it came off. I reached down to my panties, they were soaking wet. I slowly slid them down and off. I freed my father’s cock from his boxers and perched myself on top of him. I felt his cock up against my pussy and it sent chills through me. I maneuvered my hips and felt his cock slide in, filling me. I wanted to scream in ecstasy but he was still asleep, so I bit my lip and let out a soft whimper. He must have thought he was having a dream the way he moaned and mumbled nonsensical words. I bent down, my tits falling forward rubbing up against his chest, my hair falling forward to frame his face, and started kissing him again, hard and intense. It felt so good having his prodigious cock inside me. I started to move my body and I felt his cock sliding within the walls of my pussy as I rode it up and down. I rode his cock slowly at first, and then I began to go faster, building up momentum as the urgency in me grew. I felt like a fever was burning in my body as I was transfixed by his cock.

The words my father was mumbling began to make more sense and I knew he was waking up. His eyes opened and he saw me on top of him. “No, we can’t!” He said as he tried to push me off, but I held fast and muffled any other protests by kissing him.

Then, with tears dripping down on him from my cheeks, I said, “Please, I need this! I need you! I love you so much, you are the only one I want, I love you so much!” Once again I mashed my lips up against his and I could feel his resolve weaken and his cock harden even more inside me. “I love you…I love you!” I kept repeating over and over.

Then I heard him say “I love you too…” softly at first then more loudly, “Oh Baby, I love you so much!” He grasped me in his powerful arms rolling us over. Now he was on top. He pulled out of me, positioning the head of his cock at the entrance of my pussy. He brought his face within inches of mine, staring directly into my eyes, his gaze was intense and wide awake. He was still as a statue.

“Are you sure?” he asked in a soft but firm voice. “Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?” I craved the return of his cock to my cunt like a person drowning craved the return of air to their lungs, but I held his gaze and matched his intensity.

“Oh God yes!” I answered breathily. “I’m surer of this than I’ve ever been of anything before. I love you and need you inside me! I’m in agony without you!” His brilliant brown eyes glistened and, like always, I could see his love for me in them, but this time I saw something else in them as well; burning desire. He plunged back inside me, his cock skewering my pussy as he totally surrendered to the moment. I arched my back and let out the scream I had muffled before, reveling in the sublime pleasure of it.

“I love you so much!” he declared kissing me with unbridled passion. “You are everything to me! I need you too, Baby, I love you more than anything!”

“I love you, Daddy!” I responded.

“I love you, Baby!” he replied. Back and forth we vocalized confirmation of our love and devotion to each other as we continued the melding of our bodies and souls. I felt wetness drip on my face and I looked up and saw that he had tears of his own. We kissed and held our faces close together; our tears mixed joining together just like the fluids that were mixing from my pussy and his cock, just like our spirits were mixing. We were united as one in that moment. Two people who had been desperately alone were now whole and at last relief came from the torturous ache of loneliness. With my arms around his back, I clung to him as he steadily immersed himself in me deeper and deeper.

He began to fondle my breasts, everywhere he touched me brought forth delectable sensations and when he touched me in places that were all ready highly sensitive the feeling was tenfold. When he placed my stiff nipple in his mouth and gently sucked and nibbled, the pleasure I felt was so intense I thought I would burst out of my skin.

The joy I felt was insurmountable, I thought, until the orgasm started to build up in me. He was still rhythmically drawing deeper and deeper inside me and I could feel myself coming to a climax. I told him I was going to cum, he said he was too. He pushed his generous manhood yet deeper in me and I could feel the tension inside him getting ready to release. We clasped hands. He pushed me past the boiling point and just as I felt his first shudder of orgasmic release I felt myself begin to spasm in culmination. I was in a state of paradisiacal delirium as my pussy clenched on his ejaculating cock. We both screamed at the top of our lungs. It was rapture! His cock continued to spew forth its luscious elixir and my pussy continued to hungrily educe it. Wave after wave of bliss rippled through me, as my pussy overflowed with cum. My cunt gripped and massaged his cock as we simultaneously rode our savage orgasms to exhaustion. It was singularly the capsheaf of all my sexual experience.

Spent, my father gently laid on top of me as I folded my arms around him in a tight embrace. I ardently retained his softening member within me. It felt so glorious to be joined with him, I didn’t want to separate. We laid there as one, breathing heavily, basted in our sweat, tears, and sensual juices. We basked in the afterglow of our love making. I wanted to stay in that moment for all eternity.

After a time, my father started to delicately kiss my neck, his lips moved slowly up. When I felt his warm breath in my ear, he whispered, “I love you so much, Honey, I just hope that you will never come to regret this.”

“I promise you I never will.” I assured him.

Then with those radiant eyes of his he looked into mine, “I know it’s wrong for a father to play favorites with his children, but I want you to know, you’re definitely my favorite.” He said trying to keep a deadpan expression as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. I couldn’t help breaking out laughing and so did he. After a long moment of shared laughter his expression sobered up. “In all seriousness though,” he said as he ran a hand through my hair, “you’re more than my daughter now, you are my truelove. I am madly, deeply, incontrovertibly in love with you. And not just since tonight, but for a while now. I’ve watched you grow up into the wonderful person you are, and somewhere along the line I fell in love with that person as a woman, differently than I did with you as my daughter. I kept my feelings hidden, refusing to believe I even had them, because I couldn’t take the slightest chance of ever hurting you. I thought you needed me in the roll of your father and I would have been content to play out the rest of my life like that, denying my true feelings to you and to myself, because that was what I thought was best for you. I owed that to you if I truly loved you as much as I thought I did.

“But somehow you knew, even when I didn’t allow myself to even contemplate those feelings, you saw them, and you actually felt the same way. Tonight, you showed me how much you needed me, and I could no longer contain how much I needed you.” He paused a moment before continuing, “What I’m trying to say is…Julie, my life belongs to you. I don’t know how long you will want me, but however long you will need me I will be yours completely and devotedly. I only pray you will never come to resent me for allowing this to happen.”

“I will never resent you,” I said fervently, “and I will want you forever. If I could marry you this instant, I would, to show you how much I mean that. I told you there was no one else for me, and I meant it. I…I just hope you won’t ever turn me away again.”

“I could never do that, not now, not ever.” He brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it. “I pledge my soul to you forever. I pledge it as a husband pledges to his wife. I submit that the love we have, the bond we share, is just as strong, if not stronger, than any couple who are declared married because of a piece of paper. Whatever may happen in the future, to me this night I will always regard as the night we were married in our hearts, the night two isolated souls merged in harmony. I thought I would never find the mate I’ve searched for all my life, this night I have. You are my wife, my soul belongs to you.”

I was so choked up at that moment; my emotions were so intense I couldn’t speak. I loved this man for who he was, not what he was. That biologically he was my father made no difference, except that being with him all these years allowed me time to discover who he was, he was my soul mate. I finally managed to find my voice, “I have loved you all my life and will love you for the rest of my life. In you I’ve found strength, friendship, shelter from the harshness of the world, and most importantly love. I pledge to you my heart and soul. You are my husband, my soul belongs to you.”

“You’ve made me so unbelievably happy, I love you so much.” My father said smiling down at me, his face lit up in jubilance. I imagined my own expression must have mirrored his.

“I love you.” I replied. We kissed passionately in celebration of our union. As we kissed, I could feel his cock still buried deep in my pussy begin to harden again. I gasped in pure delight. “Oh my…you sure regain your vigor quickly.” I said.

“Your love restores me.” He replied with a smile. Once again we felicitously melted into each other. The only difference this time was that before our love making had a critical urgency, now we took our time, savoring the moment. We joyfully explored each other’s body as we celebrated our union. It was our wedding night. We both felt that way and from that night onward, no matter what anyone else would say; in our hearts we knew we were husband and wife.

* * *

Lightning flashed brightly out the window immediately followed by a booming clap of thunder as the lights flickered briefly. Roger, Miranda, and Julie all jumped in unison at the interruption which jarringly brought them back to the present. Julie’s story had seemed to have cast a spell on all three of them, Roger and Miranda had become just as entranced in listening to it as Julie had been in telling it. The lightning and thunder had broken them all out of that spell. Miranda seemed especially unnerved by the intrusion, she and Roger had moved closer together while Julie had told her story and now Miranda grasped onto Roger as if for dear life. Roger hugged her tight in reassurance and he could feel her relax in his arms.

“I…ahem…” Julie said, her voice cracking, she took a long drink from her beer to wet her throat, “I can’t believe how I just went on like that.” She said. “I’ve never told that story to anyone before, I hope I didn’t offend you, it just seemed so right telling you guys.”

Miranda went over and hugged Julie tight, both their eyes watering up. Roger felt compelled to add his support so he joined the hug. “I feel honored it was us you chose to tell.” He said.

“Yes, me too.” Miranda said. “It was a lovely story.”

“Thank you,” Julie said wiping her eyes.

“It sounds like your father was such a wonderful man, I can see why you loved him the way you did. Your relationship was something beautiful, it didn’t matter that he was your father.” Miranda stated then asked, “What happened between you, your father, and your brother and sister after that?”

“Well,” Julie said, “Not long after my father and I got together I told him about what happened between me, Janine, and Jack. He was pretty upset at first thinking they had taken advantage of me, but I told him it was all consensual, and considering our relationship, he could accept that somewhat. He still wasn’t happy with how they left me though. Now he fully understood why I had been so depressed before and why Janine and Jack had been keeping their distance. It was different for us though. It was like we fit together perfectly. We were so happy together and that was all we needed.

“Once I graduated college, we moved to a different town, I started working as a freelance artist and then later I got jobs at various companies. In my spare time I worked on my painting. I steadily got better jobs as my work, as a graphic design artist at least, became more popular. My father went back to work at the local post office. We lived as man and wife in the new town, and were accepted as such. We heard from Janine and Jack every now and then, but not that much. They were pretty involved in their own lives. We were invited to their weddings when each of them got married, but even then they acted distant toward us. I suppose they figured out what was going on between me and our father, but they never mentioned it. I guess they decided to leave well enough alone seeing as we looked so happy together.

“For a little more than ten years life with my father, my husband, was bliss. I even decided that I wanted to take the chance and have children with him. Maybe I was being foolish, but I wanted his child and I felt a child born from our love would have so much going for it in life it was worth the risk. However, when I went off birth control I found out I still couldn’t get pregnant. I went through some medical examinations and soon learned that I never would be able to have children.” Julie’s voice had become strained, Roger could see this was another painful memory for her, and she stopped briefly taking another sip of beer before continuing. “That was a woeful setback but I recovered from it with the help of my father. I still had him and I was deliriously happy with our relationship. It was enough that we had each other.”

Julie’s face took on a haunted expression, “Then he started getting sick. When he came home after a doctor’s appointment that dreary day and told me he had cancer, my world shattered. For five years he fought the disease, through surgeries, chemotherapy, and different medications. He had his good times and bad. There were times when I thought he had beaten it and times where it was beating him, but almost up until the very end I was still positive we were going to get through this thing.

“Finally, though, it got to a point where we both knew the disease would claim him, those were the hardest days of my life, but I knew I had to be strong for him. In the end he told me that however much he wished he could have more time to be with me, he was eternally grateful for the time we did have, and that if he had to choose between living to a hundred without being with me, or living the life he had with me, he would choose being with me every time. He died a little over three years ago.” Tears flowed freely from Julie’s deep brown eyes and down her cheeks. Miranda, with sympathetic tears of her own, hugged Julie.

“I saw Jack and Janine at the funeral, along with their families.” Julie said. “They didn’t say much to me, nothing relevant at least, it was as if we had become strangers. I assume they never told their significant others about what happened between us all. I cherished the love we expressed during those times we were intimate, but I suppose the taboo of it got to them over time and they wanted to just put that part of their lives behind them. I never felt so alone in my life, and that was exactly what my father didn’t want. He told me just before he died that he didn’t fear death half as much as he feared leaving me to be alone. He made me promise that I would get on with my life after he was gone. He told that if I ever found someone that loved me and I found I could love in return, not to let his memory get in the way, he said he released my soul from his possession. I’ve tried to keep my promise to him, but it’s been so hard, he was the love of my life, how could I ever find someone to replace him?”