All Comments on 'Spinner Ch. 03'

Seeing how the previous chapter ended I was not in the least surprised how this one went and ultimately concluded. I'm really happy for Michael & Angie as well as for Jake, as they seem to be the only reasonable people in this story (not counting the side characters). Gilly might have been the star but her cold & undeceive demeanour is rather off-putting, to think that she would turn this way after all that happened is rather disturbing yet very believable.

The only bit of annoyance was the rushed ending. Sure there isn't much that could have happened after they decided to live together and marry but still going from a joint dinner to having a kid in just a few lines takes a bit of pleasure away front eh story.

Nonetheless I gave you 5* as I enjoyed the story greatly and I now hope to read from you in the future.

I was disappointed that Michael didn't invest the effort to convince Gillian that she wasn't the object of a bet or dare. I wouldn't doubt she would have been his lifelong dream. Instead he went for a sure thing and the bastard got lucky twice. Good for Angela that despite initially coming off as only a good time girl she was the real thing. Can Michael commit even longer? Hope so for Angela's sake.

Why would you leave the best part out, or as you say to the imagination of the reader?

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. At first read I thought Michael and Gillian would work things out. But as I got to the end I realized that there were several scenes of foreshadowing where the author tipped his hand to indicate that Michael and Angela would ultimately end up together. Great use of literary techniques of foreshadowing and providing the reader with a major twist. As one reviewer noted,

I also thought the end was rushed a bit. In fact, the story would have been fine if it didn't circle back for Michael to meet Gillian one last time at the bar. It was clear that Angela was the center of Michael's universe. But all-in-all, a great read.

I loved this story, the way it played out and the characters in it were all believable and relatable, which is something a lot of erotica stories mess up. I agree with the other reviewers that said the ending felt a bit rushed, mainly due to going from an engagement dinner to 2 years of marriage and a kid in less than a paragraph.

The only other complaint I have is that the entire story was told in present tense, like the character is narrating things as they happen. This caused the whole story to have a somewhat off-putting sense of time. Shifting it to a past tense would make it a bit less jarring, as it would feel more like the character is relaying the story to another person.

...at how quickly your characters fall in love. He spends a day with Gillian, and he's professing that he thinks he loves her, and even tells her that he does love her. Then he turns to Angela and again, within the space of a day, he's again professing that he thinks he loves her. And later she professes that she fell in love with him the first day she met him and gave him her number. To me, that just smacks of complete immaturity on their part. Lust, yes. Infatuation, yes. Love, no.

Everything seems so simple for these characters. Black and white if you will. There wasn't any real drama or anything believable about this over simplification of romance. Kinda boring.

Loved the first 2parts but it seems to me like he was being a dick more than Gillian being cold or put off. I couldn’t read any more after I saw he was putting Gillian on hold and going after Angela. It makes it sound like he got in what he wanted - in G’s pants - and was moving on to the next conquest. Hope he got back with G in the end but don’t want to know now. Very disappointed.