All Comments on 'Spite Fucking for the Judgmental'

I rejoice in your determination and spirit of self.

As a man who is with a similar independent,intelligent woman we both understand our desires and needs.

Few on the outside realize that without mutual consent this scene would not occur.

Fewer still understand the control is actually in the hands of the woman.

Both understand that trust is the foundation.

I really appreciate this comment. You're right, not everyone understands the mutual consent aspects behind certain dynamics.

There is something for everyone along the endless spectrum. I happen to admire your writing abilities while not being a fan of a goodly portion of the content. I can appreciate, and often enjoy, the animalistic aspects of lust and power. Having read a tremendous amount of both stories and comments on Lit over several years, I seen patterns in writing and reactions. The rougher and sexy-nastier the better crowd is solid. The oh how horrible/put them in jail crowd is vocal as well. There are many of us in between. We have difficulties when an author (and I'm not saying this is you, just any author), over sells the harsh factor without any balance. If the reader is told time after time that 'this is insufferable', 'I hate this', the Dom is foaming at the mouth, the sub has been reduced to nothing, blah, blah, blah and there is not one single word given to support consent, desire, sanity/normality outside the presented scene, respect and care between - something, anything - then the reader is left with only what is presented. Yes, inferences can be made - but can be made in both directions. Is this a sane, intelligent, committed couple fulfilling established needs through mutually beneficial activities? Or...not. I am not saying every hot-n-heavy, raunch-a-delic scene should become a Tolstoy length love story dulled with copious detailed contracts and deep discussions. It takes so very little, actually. The nuances of word choice alone can accomplish it with no additions or subtraction to the action. A sentence or two sprinkled throughout to tell us that while she is screaming and suffering, she is enjoying it. Amazing how many authors seem to forget that or think it unimportant. While a literal pat on the head at the end is better than nothing, it won't neuter a Dom to show some appreciation throughout.

I don't think it judgemental to seek those basic things to elevate intense erotica away from the dank corner of actual torture porn trying to pretend to be bdsm erotica.

$0.02

I appreciate your taking the time to comment. I wasn't referring to this site or erotica in any sense when I spoke of jidgmental people. Irl I had several lively discussions with some women who felt as strongly about consent, as do I, yet we differed on what that meant. Tha catalyst that sparked the debate was an assertion by one that beognbtouched sexually while asleep was always rape, even in a relationship between two consenting adults who enjoyed that - a lot - because "you can't give give blanket consent. Ditto drunken sex between a consenting monogamous couple.

My assertions that I have the right to give access to my body whether drunk (rarely) or asleep (I sleep a lot more than i drink) were met with calling me a rape apologist, pro rape and anti woman. Those are quotes.

This led to discussing sex more globally and a debate between whether a woman choosing to be submissive sexually contributes to patriarchy and hurts all other women. I say no, they disagreed.

This led to a some jokes between myself an a friend, who agreed with me in the discussions, about spite fucking to piss them off. It amused me so I wrote a short nothing story about it.

Fwiw I don't consider myself to practice BDSM or pretend to write erotica for any genre. I write what I think about and on this site it''s the appropriate classsification for some of my stuff, broad categories are helpful for searching content and avoiding other, but that's all it is.

I agree with you wholeheartedly about weaving desire and consent into the scenes themselves and sometimes I do this better than others. Sometimes I fail at this completely. There are some authors here who do it beautifully and consistently....I'm not one of them.

My problem is I didn't write for a public audience so perhaps I shouldn't have posted them. I had some stuff I'd written for me and a close friend and was encouraged to post here...I should have re-read somethings through a strangers eyes before posting.

As far as judgement here, honestly I read the comments and if there is valid feedback - like this comment - I do take it in, positive or negative. The anon throw away insults with no substance ...I've been online too long to be bothered by that kind of thing. :)

I've got a multipart story in the queue to post but I don't plan to make a habit of posting here after that, but I do really appreciate your comment as I find this topic quite interesting and worthy of discussion.