Stand Tall

"And that was important to you back then," Lance said more as a statement than as a question.

"Oh, yes. Jess is 6'3" so I could wear four-inch heels and not be taller than him. Looking back, it's so silly, and yet, at the time, it really was very important to me."

"And now?"

"And I don't think I could care less about it," she said without hesitation.

"The part about not doing things with the boys is hard for me to understand. My dad and I were always doing something together. We played sports, we fished, I helped him build stuff. He's not only my dad, he's my best friend."

"He sounds amazing. That's what I kept hoping would happen with him and our boys, but looking back, I can tell drugs were always the most important things in his life," Olivia said.

She glanced over then said very sweetly, "As to you and your dad, I guess it's true that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"If I'm half the man he is, I'll consider myself a success," Lance told her with a smile.

"You will be. I'm sure of that," she said. "Oh, and I didn't really answer your question. I'm very ready to date again, because I've felt like I didn't really have someone to love or...who loved me...for a very long time. I love my boys with all my heart, but I very much want to fall in love and hopefully, this time, stay married for the rest of my life."

"Well, since we're here in town, would you maybe like to have lunch with me?" Lance asked, his heart pounding with nervousness like he was back in high school.

"Yes. I would love to!" she told him with a bright, happy smile.

"Before or after we get your car a new battery?"

"Since my stomach is growling and the car isn't going anywhere, now sounds very nice."

"I only know a couple of places, so if you have a preference, please let me know," Lance told her as they turned onto the main street.

"Oh, gosh, it's been several years, but I always loved eating at Stella's. Is that okay?" she asked.

"Sure. I've never tried it, so if that's where you like to go, then that sounds perfect."

"It's just over on Jefferson Street," Olivia told him.

"Oh, okay. I know where you mean. There's an auto parts store not too far away on Richmond Road."

"You know your way around pretty well," she said with a smile.

"There's a Planet Fitness I work out at over on Bryan Station, so that's the only reason I know. I try and get over there every other day if possible."

"Oh, right. Yeah, people who've never been around jockeys have no idea how much physical strength is involved. I tried riding one of Mom and Dad's race horses when I was in high school and it scared me to death. I'd been riding my whole life. I'd just never ridden like that before. I mean, when he bolted out of the paddock, I nearly came out of the saddle, and the first time we rounded a turn I screamed the entire way."

"Yeah, when that gate opens and a horse is ready to rock and roll, it's quite the experience."

"It's just up here on our right," Olivia said pointing about a block in front of them.

He pulled up to the curb then let her know he'd be right there meaning she shouldn't open her door.

When he came around she let him help her out and initially, he was on the curb and she was on the street. Even then she was a good inch taller than him. The moment she stood on the curb in front of him, the top of Lance's head was about even with her upper lip.

Neither of them mentioned it, but they didn't have to. Olivia saw Lance look away and stop smiling as soon as she towered over him.

He closed the door then said, "Shall we?"

"We shall!" she replied pleasantly, thankful neither of them said anything about their momentary discomfort or the reason for it.

Lance didn't offer her his arm, but she hooked hers inside his anyway and when he looked over and up at her she smiled warmly.

He reached for the door to open it for her when they both saw the big 'Help Wanted' sign.

"Well, well. This looks like...a sign!" Lance said using the other meaning for the word.

Olivia laughed and said, "It's my lucky day!"

She looked right at him then added, "And in more than one way."

There wasn't any wait so they were able to be seated immediately. The hostess took them to a table by the window then let them know their server would be there shortly.

Olivia hoped Lance hadn't noticed the girl's choice of words, and before she could say anything herself, a very cute, very young girl walked up and said to Lance with a heavy southern accent, "Well, hey there handsome! I haven't seen you at the gym lately. Where you been?"

"Oh, hey there," he said back as Olivia gave her the eye. The girl hadn't even glanced at her yet, but she was all smiles for the handsome jockey.

It was the girl he'd planned on trying to hook up with, but were she not wearing her name tag, he'd have had no idea what it was. He read it then answered her question.

"Yeah, I've been getting ready for the big race—Holly."

"Right, right!" she said. "Yeah, that's comin' up next week, ain't it?"

"Yes, it is," Lance told her hoping she'd take their order.

Holly finally turned and looked at Olivia and smiling very brightly said, "Hey, there!"

"Hi," Olivia said, sporting a very weak smile.

Holly looked at her then at Lance then back at Olivia as though she was trying to figure out how they could possibly be together.

Finally she said, "I, uh...didn't know Lance was seeing anyone."

"Oh, it's just lunch," Olivia said not wanting to make Lance feel 'obligated'.

To her surprise he told the perky, young waitress as he looked at Olivia and smiled, "It's a first date kind of lunch. Or at least I'm hoping it is."

Olivia smiled happily back at him then looked back at Holly who wasn't smiling anymore.

There was an awkward moment of silence before Olivia asked, "Do you still serve Vegetarian Hot Brown?"

"We sure do," Holly said, having recovered from the surprise of seeing such a good-looking guy with a woman who was clearly a lot older than her. Or him for that matter. Her first thought was 'she's well preserved' but didn't voice it.

"Okay. I'll have that please, with some sweet tea."

"How about you, handsome?" she said to Lance.

"I'll try this Kentucky burger," he told her as he pointed to that item on the menu.

"You can't beat black Angus on a bun—hon," Holly said with a laugh. "What would you like to drink?"

"Um...iced tea for me, too. With sugar in it."

Holly looked at Olivia who tried not to laugh before both them couldn't help it.

"What?" Lance asked having no idea what was so funny.

"You wanna tell him?" Holly asked Olivia.

"Anywhere in the South, you order 'sweet tea' rather than 'sweetened tea' or 'tea with sugar in it'."

"Oh. Wow. Note to self," Lance said. "I won't make that mistake again."

"Can he pronounce 'pecan' right?" Holly asked her.

"Well, this is a first...date...so I'm not sure. But I'll check here in a minute."

Holly laughed again then said, "I'll be right back with your drinks. Your...sweet tea."

"Wow. Why do I feel like I'm on trial?" Lance said with a smile.

Olivia smiled back then said, ignoring his question, "She's very pretty."

"Yeah, she's cute."

He waited then smiled at her before saying, "But you're beautiful."

Olivia smiled again and said, "That's so...sweet of you to say. I wish it was still true, but..."

"It is still true," Lance told her.

"Lance, I'm a mess. I didn't do my hair so I pulled it into a ponytail before we left. I didn't even do my makeup, and I'm wearing shorts and a tee shirt. That's not what I call beautiful."

"Then come sit over here because from what I can see, you're exactly what I'd call beautiful."

Olivia thanked him, but Lance could see a change in the way she looked.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked.

"No. I...I just realized it's been a very, very long time since anyone told me that."

"You can't be serious," he told her.

"Well, if you don't count a few regular potheads who came to the store and occasionally told me I was 'smokin' hot' then yes, I am serious. I assumed their judgment was impaired from smoking, and never put any stock in it."

"They were right. You're incredibly attractive to me," he assured her without getting all sappy.

He could tell she was still feeling some kind of melancholy so he said, "So how do you pronounce 'pecan'?"

Olivia covered her mouth when she laughed causing Lance to say, "Okay. What is it this time?" as he feigned being upset.

"Well, you said 'Puh-CAHN."

"Okay. And how do you say it?"

"The correct way," she told him, her smile now back.

"Uh-huh. And that would be..."

"It's PEE-can. You know, like the thing old men...pee in...so they don't have to walk to the bathroom."

That struck Lance as funny and he couldn't help laughing.

"Okay. PEE-can it is. And every time I see one of those nuts, I'm gonna think about that...can."

Holly came back just as he was saying it and she said, "These Yankees are cute, but I swear sometimes they can be dumber than a box of rocks."

She smiled at Lance as she said it, and Olivia said, "No, he's not just cute. He's pretty smart, too."

"I'll take your word for it, hon," she said as she set their glasses down. "I'll be back with your orders as soon as they're up."

Olivia touched Holly's arm before she walked away and said, "Oh. I uh, I was wondering if I could get an application. If you're still hiring."

"Oh, sure. I'll bring you one." Holly smiled then said, "This ain't a bad place to work. The tips can be pretty good as long as the men folk like what they see, if you know what I'm sayin'."

"I do," Olivia said politely not wanting Holly to offer her opinion on whether or not she still had 'what the men folk were looking for'.

For the next hour or so, she and Lance got to know each other better by talking about where they grew up and what they enjoyed doing.

Not surprisingly, Olivia preferred music from the '80s and '90s while Lance listened to music from when he was a teenage some 15 years later. But they did find some overlap and that was especially true regarding movies.

"You like action movies?" he asked when she named several that she enjoyed.

"I have two boys, remember? And my husband...soon to be ex-husband, also loved them. I learned to like them because it was either that or go read a book."

"Do you like to read, too?" he asked her.

"Oh, I love to read. I could read all day if I had the time," Olivia told him.

"Wow. I love reading, too. Are you a fan of J.K. Rowling by any chance?" he asked.

"Are you kidding? I've read every Harry Potter book and watched every movie out there!" she said excitedly. "Here's one for you. Are you into Lord of the Rings?"

"John Ronald Reuel Tolkien is quite possibly my favorite author of all time. Although I'm a pretty big fan of guys like the late Tom Clancy and James Patterson, too."

Both of them knew a sudden spark had lit a kind of unseen flame as they talked non-stop the rest of the time in the restaurant, at the auto parts store, and all the way home.

Lance put the new battery in for her then made sure the car started.

"I think I may have hit the jackpot today," Olivia said when it fired right up immediately.

She turned the engine off then told Lance, "I can't remember having such a nice time in...forever. Thank you for that, Lance."

He helped her back out of the car and even though she was essentially towering over her, he found himself almost not bothered by their six-inch difference in height. Feeling emboldened, he reached for her hands and when he did, she smiled at him and gave them to him.

He looked up at her and said, "I had a great time, too, Olivia."

"Yeah, it was really nice."

"Nice enough to try this again sometime?" he asked with a smile.

"Most definitely," she said smiling back at him.

"And you're really okay with...this?" he asked in a way that let her know he meant his height.

"Yes. I'm very okay with it," she told him sincerely.

"Then maybe we could go someplace a little nicer. Would tomorrow night be okay or is that too soon?"

"Not at all. That would be perfect," she said quietly as they looked into one another's eyes.

Not quite sure how to do this, Lance sort of gently pulled on her hands and she happily bent down as he looked up and kissed her for the first time.

"I won't wear heels," she said sweetly after the kiss ended.

"That's up to you, Olivia. You were right, you know. About me and my insecurity. Even if you're okay with this, it's going to take me some time to learn not to feel...well, whatever it is this makes me feel."

"Then take all the time you need," she said just as sweetly.

"And you should wear heels whenever you want to. Please don't do or not do anything you enjoy just because of me, okay?"

"That tells me a whole lot about what kind of man you are, Lance. And so far, I really like the kind of man you are."

"I should probably let you go," he said as they stood there face to face.

"Okay," she said in a way that told him she understood but didn't want their time together to end. "Thank you for lunch and for the battery. I'll pay you back tomorrow."

He'd insisted on using his credit card and had no intention of taking her money, but said, "No hurry."

"Well, I should get inside then," she said.

As she went to pull away, Lance pulled her back for another kiss. It lasted a little longer than the first one, and would have lasted even longer if not for the giggling they heard from two young boys who were watching.

"He kissed Mom!" they heard Gavin say. "Gross!"

"Cool!" Connor said causing them both to laugh.

"We are so busted," Olivia said as she looked over at her sons.

"Yeah. I may have to wear those two out so they'll be too tired to give you any grief about it," Lance told her.

"Oh, please! By all means. Any time. Wear away!" she said playfully.

"Hey, guys!" Lance called out as he backed away from their mom.

"Are you guys getting married?" Connor asked as he walked toward the adults.

"Um...no!" their mom said immediately then just as quickly wishing she hadn't sounded so adamant.

"We're just friends," Lance added.

"Friends don't make out," Connor said.

"And it's gross!" Gavin informed them.

"It was just a kiss, but I thought it was kind of nice," Lance said with a smile.

"Yes. Yes, it was," Olivia said with a smile of her own.

"Hey! What do you guys feel like doing?" Lance asked wanting to change the subject.

"You wanna play football again?" Connor asked him back.

"Um...sure. Let's go for it!"

It took nearly an hour to wear the boys out, but Lance got the job done. On the last pass to Connor something happened that caused the game to end without anyone saying a word.

Gavin was covering Connor who'd gotten by him, and Lance threw a perfect pass that was just inches outside of Connor's reach.

Gavin laughed and yelled, "Hah! If you weren't such a runt, you'd have been able to catch that!"

Connor didn't reply. The look on his face said everything. Gavin knew what was wrong but rather than apologize, he doubled down.

"Oh, so now you're gonna cry and run to Mommy and tell her, 'Gavin hurt my feelings, huh'?"

As Connor walked past his brother, he said, "I hate you!"

Lance watched them both go into the house and waited a minute before following them inside.

He rightly guessed Connor had gone to his bedroom while Gavin was in the kitchen telling his mom how much fun they had. Lance went down the hallway and knocked on Connor's door.

"Go away!" he heard.

It was obvious the boy was close to crying, so Lance said quietly, "Connor? It's me. Can I come in?"

There were a few seconds of quiet before the door opened. Connor didn't look at Lance, he just went back to his bed and laid face down so he could hide his tear-filled eyes.

Lance walked over to the bed then asked, "Is it okay if I sit down?"

"I guess," the boy said.

Lance sat down next to him and folded his hands in his lap.

"You know your brother was just teasing, right?"

"Yes," Connor said as his body shook from the first round of tears.

Lance said without looking at the boy, "My mom kept telling me my growth spurt was coming, but it never did. I was really, really sensitive about my height from junior high on and well, I kind of still am."

"Yeah, but you're a grownup and you're a jockey. Jockeys aren't supposed to be tall."

"I'm a jockey because I'm...short. I'm not short so I can be a jockey. Do you understand the different?" Lance asked with a gentle voice.

"Not really," Connor said as he tried to take deep breaths.

"It means I didn't want to be short. I wanted to tall. Like NBA basketball tall, you know?"

Connor turned over on his side then said, "I just don't want my little brother to be so much taller than me. Everyone thinks he's older and kids make fun of me. I hate that, but when Gavin does it, it makes me..."

Lance saw him about to cry again and put a hand on his shoulder then said, "It hurts, huh?"

"Yes."

"A lot. I know. I get it."

"Does it ever stop hurting?" Connor asked through the tears.

"I guess it depends on how strong or how tough we get inside. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to, but it still bothers me."

"What did you do to make it not hurt so much?" Connor asked.

"Come on. Sit up and I'll tell you," he said, patting the space right next to him.

Connor sat up and swung his legs over the bed and let Lance put an arm around his shoulder.

"I decided to try and turn my...shortcoming...into and advantage. My grandparents owned horses and I loved to ride them, and when I was 15, and very short, my Grandpa introduced me to a friend who raced horses. He let me work with one of his jockeys who taught me most of what I know. By the time I was 17 I got my jockey card and when I was 18 I rode in my first race. I've been riding ever since. Oh, and I never did get that growth spurt."

"Did girls laugh at you?" he asked.

"They did. Not all the time, but taller guys would say something about my height to get a laugh if they thought a cute girl might like me and he liked that same girl. I'd be so embarrassed after that I'd just walk away."

"That's the worst," Connor said. "I liked a girl at my old school, but she said I looked like a 4th grader and I was in 6th grade!"

"Can I tell you a secret?" Lance asked.

"Okay," Connor said quietly as he looked up at the older man.

"I really like your mom."

"You do?"

"Uh-huh. A lot. But she's pretty tall, isn't she?"

"Yeah. My mom is really tall. But she's really pretty, too."

"Yes, she is. And I was afraid to ask her out because...I'm not tall," Lance said with a smile. "I thought she thought I was like a little boy, too, just because I'm only 5' 5". The average height for men is just under five-feet ten. It's no big deal if you're five-nine or even five-eight. But when you get below five-seven, everyone notices. So, yeah, everyone notices me."

"But she said 'yes', right?"

"Yes, she did," Lance said, still smiling. "And even though she did, I still feel a little bit self-conscious. I know I can't change how tall I am, but because I like her, I guess I can't help but think maybe being short bothers her."

"I don't think it does," Connor said supportively not really knowing how his mom felt.

"I'm sure you're right. You're mom is an amazing woman. And she is very beautiful. So whatever insecurities I have are my problem, not hers. And all you can do is be the very best person you can and try not to worry about things like how tall you are."

"But it's really hard, Lance. It never changes."

"I'm not going to promise you a 'growth spurt' is coming, but I can promise you you will grow taller. How tall is something I can't know, either, but you will grow some more. I mean, your mom is tall. And so is your dad, right?"