All Comments on 'Stephanie'

This is very poorly written and uses about as much imagination as the butt plug in his ass. This was really crap!

But it does need a follow up to explain a few things and what happens from then on.

i hope you put a second part to this.

a lot to be cleared up. how she got to that point with her boss and what happened afterward.

Enjoyed the story, classic lack of communication between married couple. Must be a part 2 please.

I suggest that your story line and development needs further consideration. It almost seems as if, in the process of telling this much, you raised more interesting questions, the answering of which would make the tale more complete.

There are two stories here, one about a couple enjoying role play and kinky sex and another about a wife who thinks her husband will accept her being unfaithful with her idiot boss. How do we get from one to the other?

It was good til almost the end, then it just seemed rushed, it is begging for a continuation.

A lot of guys enjoy anal play with their wives giving and receiving, but it looked like she GROSSLY misunderstood the relationship dynamic and boundaries. Question is where does this go now?

Can't wait to see.

This story without the aftermath: her reasons, his actions, isn't complete...so 3* for now

great reading of the story as i kept me interested but at the end it left everything hanging. hope there is more to the story. great writing as it goes for the first story. thanks

... we need the resolution of this tale, now that we have had the crisis. What does Danny do next... does he destroy them both (as he should) - does he let them go quietly (slim possibility) or does he reconcile (hopefully not in this case).

3/5 for unfinished business

Means No Story, so no score

Sure, it didn’t have the typical BTB details, but really, the dramatic part is that he threw her out, and further details are anticlimactic.

So, it’s left to our imaginations. If they live in a community property state, she owns half of the apartment, but we aren’t given that detail. Her motives aren’t gives, but he wasn’t interested in them, so from his point of view, we have all we need.

Who nade no attempt to harm him, one of them being his wife, whom he also threatened with bodily harm in front of witnesses.

He is going to prison and their communal property will be divided between tge two if them and WHO THE FUCK LEAVES THEIR PHONE UNLOCKED?!?

If he received a large amount from his Grandfather's estate, any decent Financial Planner would have advised him to place the funds in a Trust. Then his Apartment would have been a Trust purchase and NOT matrimonial property. Otherwise the slut will get 50% of it in the divorce. If it's matr property he can't throw her out!

Yes, you definately need to finish the story. What happens to them both? Divorce? BTB? or reconciliation? What about her Boss? Finish required please. (Excellent story. Keep up the good work.)

Only fair.

I don't see his problem with the feeldoe if she's already been fucking him with a strap-on. It's really the same from HIS perspective, it just gives HER a different experience.

"For the next week and a half, that's all she wanted to do." - That's where I start having problems. It's not for me, but if he's OK with ass play as PART of their sex life, fine. But now she's apparently denying him fucking her pussy, and demeaning him, even when she sees it's affecting him negatively.

Where he made a HUGE mistake was when she said, "I bet you'd love to be sucking a real cock wouldn't you?" he shoiuld have said "No fucking way, and you better not bring one!"

"Danny. I..I...I don't understand..." - What, is she a moron? She hasn't allowed normal sex in quite a while, she's never even MENTIONED another man, let alone a potential "bull," and she doesn't understand that he's angry?

She's already been cheating with her boss, sharing intimate details of their "love" life, and expects him to "understand," that she "loves" him and only him?

Shift to third person was jarring.

His filming of his unprovoked attack on her boss is going to get him in trouble. At the least, he'd better NOT send anything to the wife, in exchange for no charges being brought.

Good start to a story. Please finish it.

Ass Play leads to divorce?

It seems silly, sure, but that statement REALLY seemed like the entire point to the story.

I wonder why?

The worst thing was the lack of understanding by the writer about the use of first person in story telling. Once he closes the door on his cheating wife, he has no idea what happens on the other side. He cannot see through the door. That's why he had no idea another man was in the room until he saw him. To make up for this problem, the story suddenly jumps to third person, which also means it jumped into the ranks of poorly written.

I don't go much for the ass play stuff, but two married people can do whatever they agree on. The fact that she determined that he was a wimp cuck fag indicated two things. 1) She badly misjudged him and 2) She must read comments on Literotica LW stories. I did like that the guy went primitive and was far from a wimp. He should have kept the photos of the wife blowing the boss. They would help in future negotiations. (I suspect a part two is planned.)

Since this was not in the United States I have no idea what any legal problems might arise from his forceful, yet understandable ejection of the cheaters from his apartment. Why was it not the US of A? The term "neighbours apartment" indicates that it is not American English, as well as the writer is weak in determining the difference between making a word plural and making it possessive.

With HardDaysKnight: The move from first to Third Person was Sketchy. it would be nice to see how everything comes out. Does he tell scumbags wife. does he send out Pics and Announcements to all. as far as Ass Play is concerned as Long as it isn't mine have at it.

Please finish!!!

Dont be sorry about the first mistakes! Your story is for miles better then some crap at that side!! Go on writing!!!

Just more fetish B.T.B garbage here.

Did you fall asleep? This story isn't even close to being finished.

He copied photos before deleting them of boss' phone

Its a good start but you can't leave it there.

...but I would have preferred more detail. For example, more info on Stephanie's thought process that led her to introduce another man. Do women really think that a man who is willing to let his wife have some level of dominance in bed is automatically up for getting it from another man? The ending of the story, while not "complete", gave enough to be clear on how things would end. A good first effort that could have been fleshed out a bit more.

Like others said there could be more to this story. Hope you will right another chapter Lots of questions to be answered

"as I unceremoniously threw him out onto the landing outside my door, ending near the elevator on his face."

One of the funniest misplaced modifiers of all time. (It reminds me of the old Groucho Marx joke, "One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.")

That being said, I enjoyed this story. Good effort. Would like to see a 2nd chapter.

Not at all interested in the anal play. Keep writing about that and you'll lose me and a significant part of your audience. Others have pointed out the pov shift. All in all, a good first story. Write another, please.

Needs a follow up, what happens next

Good start, but a little too much anal play for my taste.

Please finish this story it’s not close to being done I hope.

I gave it a 3 because it is confusing. I don't have any idea what could propel a woman to do something like this if she wasn't clinically insane.

Enjoyed it but not enough information.

Looks like you have a sequel set up so I'll be looking for it.

As insane as Stephanie and her moron boss were, I thoroughly enjoyed his reactions.

@Harddaysknight Re: Not U.S. - I know there are probably exceptions that I will be promptly schooled on, but in the U.S. apartments that are bought are usually condominiums.

@BigGuy33 Re: Dominance - It's like the stories where the husband yields to his wife most of the time because he simply doesn't care that much, so she comes to think of him as a wimp that she can do anything to.

@Anonymous Re: "He had an elevator on his face?" - LOL, even a comma after "elevator" would have helped!

Re: Anal play, while I don't think it was explicitly shown, I believe that the anal play was a mutually agreed upon addition to their sexual play, while she made a unilateral decision to make it their ONLY sexual play and to dominate him.

U are a fag

....I'm holding back my vote until we get the next chapter. Others have mentioned most of the issues with the story, so I won't repeat them.

Even though I'm not into pegging & such, it did seem that anal play worked well for both of them until Stephanie went off the rails and started fucking her boss. At least she didn't tie him to the chair and fuck the guy in front of him.

Looking forward to see how you proceed with all the loose threads.... ;-)

There seems to be gaps of information. How did she jump to the conclusion of bi-sex play? Why did he not notice her affair?

Not a bad start.

hopefully the anal play is NOT going to be a feature in this story of betrayal. Unlike Danny, I DO want to hear her reasoning.

JimC

I guess that Stephanie forgot their discussion where Danny told her that they would be totally exclusive in their relationship and never include others. Stephanie comes across as a total moron with her reasoning that Danny would accept his "new role" as she defines it for him. Where did she ever get this idea? Good story and loved that Danny kicked her boss's ass but, where does this story go from here? I agree that the apartment (or condo) should not be in the marriage joint property and a trust or prenup could solve that issue but what about Stephanie?

Haha I laugh my butt off thinking of how I make cucks of these men who can't find a woman who will be " faithful ." Don't blame the woman when she finds another man like me with a real dick and who knows how to fuck her, blame your attitudes and your pathetic fucking. Also, I'd have fucked that wimp up if he tried to get physical with me.

Why is it so hard for some people to understand that the real story begins just after he kicked her out. Getting pissed and reacting takes seconds. The rest of his life is in front of him and a lot of major details are about to happen. THAT is the story. Part 2 please.

whats the finish, to many holes ,why did she think he would go for this sick sex, bring another guy around. you threw her out that is illegal as it may sound good you need a settlement. this whole story doesn't add up to this ending so far.

sounds like projecting you pathetic cuck. you love to be a cuck yet put up a bull persona to not let anyone know you love to be a sub beta bitch.

He owned the house before the wedding so it won't be part of any settlement. A good story though it ended rather abruptly.

I don't get into some of that, but I thought his reaction was perfect. I get sick of the stories where the guy suddenly accepts that he will be treated like an accessory.

"Does the bitch boy want to come over here and suck my cock? Let's see if you're as good as your wife" he grinned at me.

"Mmmm, that's a nice arse Danielle. Once I'm done with it, I'll happily let you watch me take your wife's"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing you fucking faggot. No-one said you could film me you mother fucker!!"

I don't claim to be the smartest book on the shelf, but the video of her boss raised his voice and called him names in his own home he opened Pandora's box and got what was coming to him.

If you continue to write and I hope you do, fix your BIO so we can tell why your wordage is the way it is. I have read plenty of stories from writers from England and Australia so I've seen the words before. But if your from the US and trying to sound foreign then "Bad QuiteWonder".

Why was my comment deleted, but not the wannabe bull's?

Error of judgement or just not having a clue about your husband after almost 6 years? Stephanie sounds like a complete moron or a closet Dominatrix or Cuckoldress that thinks she finally has hubby right where she wants him but she seems to have forgotten to mention all of this to him. I would like to hear about how she got this screwed up but, I don't see any path to reconciliation with her cheating and her humiliation of Danny. No score on what's written so far since there are so many unanswered questions.

I assumed Americans started saying ass (a type of donkey) because they were too embarrassed to say arse.

Globalisation of the dominant culture and language is a fact of life. North American terminology is slowly taking over the Anglosphere. We must fight it on the beaches, we must fight it in the villages, etc. etc. We must never surrender.

Ass vs Arse is only part of it. Of recent times your own Jenny Gently (from the UK) and a couple of Lit authors from down here in the Antipodes have succumbed to the scourge.

Lue

The story was okay. Four stars for being the best of the day.

There is a huge difference between what we will do, in private, for/with those we love, and what happens when they breach trust. I think you captured it well.

Of course, the husband should have been a bit more assertive, but he didn't deserve unilateral adultery. So the ending was perfectly just, and he's well rid of the woman who became (or perhaps was always) so callous.

Looking forward to more stories from you.

Even if we were to accept her bringing another man into their bedroom (doubtful!), how does she get from that to CHEATING with her boss?

Now, if she HADN'T cut him off from "normal" sex, and ASKED him about bringing another man to play with them, in a NON-cuckold manner, MAYBE he would have allowed a trial run or whatever. But she pulled the triple-whammy on him: cut off regular sex; cheated; brought in another man, without his consent, and obviously intended to be a cuckold situation.

How do they go from "every month or two," to a solid week and a half with no discussion?

in one as several posters have pointed out. I hope you write "the rest of the story" as it was a good start.

That is where it ends? Really?

The story is anti climatic and has no purpose. I suspect that Stephanie wanted her husband to be a cuckold and was training him to do so, but I don't think he had a clue what she was up to. The story needs closure of some degree. It just can't end without giving us answers that only Stephanie has in her head.

An excellent opening story.

Strap-ons and Anal is not usually my thing but you captured the husband's outrage and betrayal perfectly and how decisive he was immediately acting on his rage and frustration.

Whether it's BTB, RAAC, earned reconcilliation or just shame and imfamy for the bitch (and her arsehole boss), this REALLY begs a continuation. I sincerely hope your future writing is as well balanced and proportionate as this one.

Top marks.

It's hard to give Stephanie's thought process when the story is told in his 1st person POV.

He would have had to talk to her to find out, and he didn't give a fuck!

An "error of judgement" would have been thinking that his enjoyment of anal play meant that he would enjoy a real cock. Fucking the real cock herself first is flat out cheating.

Except for the fact that he didn't respond to the suggestion of a real cock, and even lost his erection (a fact that she was so hung up on her own fantasy that she didn't even notice!), MAYBE he would have agreed, IF she asked first, but to spring it on him unannounced, even if she HADN'T already been fucking the guy, is so far beyond the pale that her confusion at his opposition is almost laughable.

Re: "Proof" - I agree, I made a similar comment, and it's unfortunately common in LW where it is perfectly obvious that the wife is cheating, but before he acts he needs "more proof!"

Re: "Why" - Didn't they come up with some psycho-babble that she was depressed over the deaths of several babies?

at the end you switch from 1st person to 3rd. and what about an ending?

It isn't my cup of coffee but you transmit emotion and flip the plot quickly which makes for a good story. The subject matter almost turned me off....

fag cuck shit.

IMHO this was above average for a first effort. I do agree there could have been more to the aftermath though. I encourage you to keep posting and am looking forward to more from you. Thank you.

He gives her a week of fucking him in the ass, calling him Bitch Boy, and he doesn't discuss his feelings later that evening, after the sexual highs and emotions have calmed down?

"You know babe, I'm glad you really enjoy our sex life, but its getting kind of monotonous, and disturbing in the direction its going." Her reaction to that introduction of the subject will tell him much, maybe everything he needs to know about her attitude and assumptions and desires for the future. "C'mon dear, wouldn't you enjoy getting fucked by a real cock?" she smirks. "Is that what you think? Really? You have become that fucked up in the head just because I've tried to be open minded and adventurous with our fantasy role playing? Well first of all, not just no, but HELL NO! This ass fucking shit stops right here right now, you understand? Wait a minute, were you thinking of bringing some ass-fucking queer into our sex life? Look at me! What the fuck have you done?"

Something like that reaction would make more sense. Just a thought.

For a first effort, this is pretty good. You need some development of the two main characters. You also need to bring the story to some kind of conclusion. You leave us with two people in pain. We need some resolution.

You are 100% correct. Unfortunately, like the majority of these kinds of stories, if they actually had that kind of communication there would be no story, LOL!

start!

An excellent story, not really erotic but a realistic story about how typical cuckold sissy fantasies would actually go. I would like a more clear ending and a more understanding of Stephanie's motives but since this is told from the husband's perspective in reality that's probably as much as he would know.

The picture painted of the happy couple began as blissful. The husband thought all was well. But, as the interests of his wife shifted, taking on aspects outside of his, he went along to keep her happy. Too a point. Upon reflection perhaps he was too accommodating. Full marks for taking Swift, decisive action when confronted by his Ex-wife and her boss.

Here is where imho it went off the rails.

I wish Danny had used Brian's phone to call Brian's wife. Then used the phone to send a photo of the two cheaters asking her to come over and help take out the trash.

No neighbours, no police, no assault charges, no reconciliation.

Well, this was well written, but I am not a big fan of stories where a wife simply has no idea what her husband thinks about truly important topics. Perhaps if she wasn’t also screwing the boss, but just lining him up for her gay fantasy that she thought her husband liked I could buy it, but nowhere does her earlier professed fidelity match up with what she did. This is another example of changing a loving wife (the category, of course) into a deluded, insensitive idiot. Unless there is a psychotic break, people don’t switch like that, fiction or not.

A good first effort but you need to finish this.

"Makes an error of judgement?" is the description on the title page not my observation. I was just indicating that this situation is way more than an error in judgement. I think that the wife got carried away in her own fantasy world and forgot to tell her husband. It could be that Stephanie really thought that Danny wanted this since he never gave her any feedback to her taunts? Yes the cheating with the boss beforehand would be very difficult to believe in this situation but I think the author has something in mind to tell us if he does a second chapter written in Stephanie's voice.

You did a great job for a first story ! It left me waiting for more, as there are more than one way to continue this story.....her story, where it goes from here, etc. But the point is....KEEP WRITTING ! I really enjoyed the closer to reality response to a cuckolding set up. Thank you !

MORE !

Please put Ch1 or Part1 or, at the very least, put ‘To Be Continued’ at the end if the story is in serial form! Assuming this is the first chapter, it is going well, so far. Rating will wait until the story concludes.

Sorry, my bad, sometimes I forget to look before I leap!

Yes, I guess I would have to read a follow-up from her POV, but she'll have a hard row to hoe with the cheating. She has SOME slack on bringing the guy in, because even he says that she didn't notice him lose his hard-on when she mentioned another man.

He certainly shares SOME blame for not telling her that he was tiring of the WHOLE game, and DEFINITELY not interested in a "real" cock!

Needs an ending. Aside that they both agreed to never add another to their bed it should never need to even be said. That without question is a given. He waited way to long to let her do stuff he wasn’t completely on board with. Bad enough she thought she could add a men to their bedroom, she already fucked him or at least was blowing him. Sad end to what sounded like a great marriage. I would of done the same, probably beat him worse,definitely sent pics to his wife , definitely start a legal suit against there company and definitely divorce her.

This does not seem to be finished. Until it is you get no star rating.

BarryZeke

This reads like it was written by a horny high school C student. Take a writing course or read some of the better (>4 scores) written stories by other authors. The story was poorly developed in spite of having a plot that was okay. Besides, as others have commented, it needs an ending (Ch. 2?)

Tiny Tim

Yes, I had forgotten this part:

"The main caveat that I placed on things, was that we were totally exclusive to each other and would never include any one else in our sexual lives, to which Stephanie whole heartedly agreed."

So, even if he wasn't strong enough in his denials of adding another man, given their initial agreement NOT to have anyone else, the burden was definitely on HER to get his explicit agreement to bringing in another man. And that's even forgetting the cheating.

Hot story, very well written! Keep it up!

PS. Ignore the negative comments!!! The ones who post writing advice could have sent private feedback if they actually cared. They don’t, they just want to be seen. The ones who write nasty comments are just dark losers trying to spread the pain of their sad lives.

I assume you are writing a part 2 or chapter 2! It would be a terrible ending, just like a JPB. You don’t have the writing history or quality yet to pull a JPB ending. I do see good potential!

Please keep writing and I will keep reading.

Story just stopped

But a good first effort. 4*

Yes, a little problem with points of view, but not NEARLY as bad as others, and on their 10th-20th tries. And a lot of people preface their stories saying the POV will jump around, which then everyone (well most everyone) seems to accept.

I think this works very well as a SHORT story. Yes, there is a lot taken for granted. Yes, I too would like more detail. Yes, I too would like a more complete end or part 2. But short stories are often like that, even award winning shorts. For the most part my imagination can fill in why the wife did what she did (there was an obvious lead up to it). The boss’ actions, and why, can easily be filled in, and how that relationship came about. And the protagonist’s response, and for me that was where I was taken by surprise as I was expecting a typical cuck story, was satisfying.... I’m not a wimp, you’re a crazy bitch, get the fuck out of here and out of my life, etc. And the small detail with the neighbor was a nice touch.

Why he liked the butt plug... well it takes all types to make up this world. And the detail that he liked that, but was not a wimpy cuck, is a nice turn that would have been treated differently by most authors. For most it’s either all or nothing. You like ass play? Then you’re a wimpy-faggoty-cuck. And a lot of the critism with this story revolves around that. In the same vein, a lot of people into BDSM are powerful people who have power over other people. BDSM is their escape (not that I can understand that). So why can’t a physically powerful man, enough to manhandle the antagonist out the door, not like butt play. No one seems to criticize a masculine gay man for liking butt play. But liking it is not necessarily contingent to being gay. Some people just can’t seem to get their minds around that.

Even so, I personally would like a little more resolution. But then again, I don’t usually like short stories, even in my other favorite fiction genres. But all in all an excellent story, irregardless of the POV problems. Otherwise it is fairly well edited, i.e. spelling, grammar, word usage, etc. which are some of my pet peeves. And I saw no criticism (so far) about that.

Because of the POV issues, and only because of that, I’m giving this SHORT story a solid “B”, or 4-stars.

Here's your chance to write your own Ch. 02. If thats the only problem you have with this story, maybe you should take it up with “QuietWonder” and write your own, satisfying, ending.

Again, i put myself in this category, so dont bitch to me about this. I just know I’m shit when it comes to original writing, especially dialog, so I'm not going to subject you to my poor attempt... well, maybe not. I’ve got some ideas...

I’m always surprised at how many people here complain, vehemently, about an unfinished ending. I complain, but realize often people are limited when working in short story format. Remember, this is only 2 pages long. I guess what gets me are the 6-7 page stories, with a lot of details, yet they dont “end” the story. Not even as “finished” as this was.

A bit of what happened later would have made abetter ending than two crying people,and she deserved some serious pain for her conduct.

fag cuck shit.

Apparently she didn't really know him or pay much attention to his attitude about the role play. She was definitely very stupid. Oh well it's just a story and stupid is as stupid does.

Good first attempt, with a little expansion maybe? Moderately enjoyable,look forward to more.

Youve managed to portray the emotions of hurt and anger really well,

Begining could be improved

Please continue

Where's the rest of the story ?

Where he has to publicly put everything out there. And the two no more divorces as others come forward. The firings of both and the lawsuit against their employers. Nice job but finish it.

Others have scored solid points about hiccups in story technique . But the narrative voice has core integrity and is self effacing so one cuts him a bit of slack as to how the couple got on slippery slope described. Overall good job that missed chances to add nuances as to Steph's sea change.

The narrator just rolled over and let her talk smack and call the carnal shots at his expense for consecutive weeks? Then Shazam ! He flicks switch and finds his inner Dwayne Johnson ( The Rock ) ? That's a stretcher, as Huck Finn and any of Johnny Wadd's cinema one-offs would say. The story needed transitions and harbingers of drastic changes afoot. Other then that, most of previous kudos and props go the way of the ditto for me.

I thank QuietWonder for sharing.

and the vast majority expect, or demand, a Part 2.

Can't see it. To me the story is complete. End of relationship. Anything that follows is the start of a new story.

It's like."Why does the woman ALWAYS have the last word in an argument?"

Because, if the poor fool says one more damn thing, that's the start of a whole new argument.

Could use a sequel. Endings that are left to your imagination are no fun. @LordSlamdawgg it's not like a switch was flicked. He had problems with what she was doing for a week. Just bad timing when he was going to confront her that she got extra stupid.

fag cuck shit.