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At the airport she gets out of the car to give me one last hug for a proper goodbye. "Thank you," I say as we embrace "for everything. I couldn't have imagined such a wonderful trip. It was perfect."
"Perfect is the exact word I was thinking. I hope it won't be the last time you visit me, though, nephew. This city has so much to offer and you barely saw anything" she finishes devilishly. We share a quick kiss and she says "Have a safe trip home. Love you and hope to see you soon!"
"Love you too!" I say. I watch her get back into her car and drive off. Sullenly, I walk through the airport knowing my vacation had ended and that the next stage in my life would begin. I would become a working man. I was flying back to long work days and more responsibility than I ever had. Luckily, I would be making good money...money that I would hopefully use for another trip to visit my beautiful aunt Alex...
- COMMENTS
Wash2015almost 3 years agoI really enjoyed the story, I gave 5 stars but I did have 1 minor complaint. In the story, the nephew kept talking about giving her the whole 6.5 inches. Obviously you want to describe it, maybe even mention the size a second time later if you want but specifically mentioning the size I think 4 times or more started to feel repetitive.
auhunter04about 9 years agopeople are nipping at you about grammar stuff. Ya it is harder with the switching back and forth with views.
Everybody wants to tell you what you need to do like get an editor. A Proofreader's method of spotting lots of errors like the naggers are whining about, is to read it backwards, it helps the mind overcome the I just typed this so I know what I wrote syndrome which lets the eye just slip over the mental mistakes it just made.
Keep up the good work, you have a good start with this story line
rightbankover 9 years agoand you really need a proof reader.
Anonymousalmost 10 years agoGood story, but needs work on the grammar. You switch between telling in the past tense to present tense all over the place. Pick one and stick with it. My suggestion is to keep with writing in the past tense, you don't appear to have the writing experience to carry off the more difficult task of doing a full story all in the present tense.
