Summer's Eve Pt. 03

She really tried to read her novel, she did. Yet it seemed impossible.

Her thoughts returned to what had happened. Again. And of course it had to be Jack she thought about. His voice, his body, his cock. Him fucking her on the ground in the forest, him on top of her at the shore of the lake in the light of the dying sun. Her sucking his cock, feeling him shoot his thick load into her mouth and stomach. Helena threw the useless book on the floor and turned off the light. Buried her head in the pillows and groaned. This was just agony. Helena rolled over on her back and closed her eyes. Maybe it would be a good idea to try and get some sleep. Just a quick nap. After all she had been up very early today. But who could have guessed - she couldn't sleep either. Instead she just laid on the bed, eyes closed and mind overflowing.

It was like she did not have any choice. Helena's hand slowly made its way down across her body. It started with her stomach and then traced its smooth form down into her shorts. Helena covered her face with her other hand, ashamed over her weakness. But her body, on the other hand, was all but ashamed. Her legs tensed up and pressed together when the fingers reached her mound. The hairs prickled her skin and she remembered that she had to shave. The fingers continued down and reached inside of her panties. The fabric between her legs was already damp. Helena bit her lip when she brushed against her labia. Her entire sex was still somewhat sore, still remembering the big cock that had been inside of it. Even though it was sensitive to touch, she could not just stop either. It felt too good. A delicate tingling was spreading through her crotch, and the warmth that came with it was slowly expanding from through her body. Helena placed her index and ring finger on both sides of her pussy and let the middle one slide across the lips. Her teeth clenched down on her lip to stop a moan from escaping. She was wet and hot, and her body responded with a wonderful shiver. Helena did not tease herself for long, and let the finger dip inside. Her pussy wrapped around it, engulfed it with heat and wetness. Helena probed herself and was surprised how tight she was. Sure, one finger was not that big of a difference, but her own body's lustful reaction almost scared her. So she continued.

Helena had masturbated a lot when she was younger. Probably not much more than other, 'normal' girls and young women, but considerably more than not at all. It was not like she had stopped doing it because she married, and neither after she had her children. Don't the experts say that it is completely normal to masturbate, be you man or woman and no matter how old? Yet when Helena slowly and gingerly slid her finger in and out of herself she realized that it had been a long while since the last time. She added the index finger and squirmed in pleasure, stifling another moan with lips pressed together. Her free left hand found its way to her breast and squeezed it. Helena's mind filled with the image of Jack being the one grabbing it. His big dark hand grabbing her breast and fondling in that way that he did. Play with her nipple in the process, maybe even put his lips around it and suck. The contrast between his skin ebony black skin and the pale shade of hers - it had been incredible to see.

After some hesitation she abandoned herself to the fantasies. It was just too much to ask to try and lock them away in the back of her mind, and even if she tried it probably would not work either. So Helena gave in, and the wonderful tingling sensations radiating from her pussy only grew better. She withdrew from her sopping sex and turned her attention to the clit instead. She rubbed it carefully, circled it with her fingertips and teased it. Her legs automatically pressed together and Helena rolled over on her side, but her hand remained where it was. It switched from the clitoris to her cunt again, digging deeper with more fingers. But even with three and then even four inside for her walls to cramp around, she did not feel full. It was not the same. Jack and his cock filled her mind. It grew and grew inside of her brain as she imagined it pressing against her, filling her up so completely. At one point she even realized that it was approaching fantastical, inhuman proportions that widely overshadowed the real deal. It made her smile through clenched teeth as a small wave of pleasure ran through her. It was not orgasm, not yet, but it was the first ripple on the surface of the sea.

Helena paused for but a moment and listened, trying to figure out if there was someone else but her in the house. Her ears picked up nothing but the rustling of leaves and a light breeze, so she relaxed again, and let herself sink deeper into the warm embrace of pleasure and fantasy. Tonight she would meet him again. Even though it was wrong and shameful, and that she would be betraying Lars once more, she would meet him. Jack. Helena tried to imagine their meeting, and her pleasure-drunk mind quickly painted a picture for her that only made her pussy clench even tighter around her fingers, and her entire body pulsate with excitement. It was night and the moon was up, illuminating the path through the forest. Helena wandered along it, clad in a simple flowery dress and nothing more. At the end of the path was the lake. In its mirror-calm waters the moon was reflected as a flawless disk of purest silver. Jack was waiting for her at the beach, tall, handsome and strong. He helped her off with the dress, and it turned to wisps the moment it fell from her body. In his embrace Helena descended into the water, and together they would swim out into the middle of the lake. Swim and kiss, passionately. Then they returned to the beach, both of them glistening wet as they emerged from the water. Helena lied down on the sand and spread her legs for him, and Jack entered her, fulfilling her like nothing else. And again the universe would contract to the two of them.

Helena made a sharp exhale and pressed her left hand against her mouth. He pussy was clenching and feverishly pulsating around her fingers. The orgasm had her in its grip and it took all of her self-control not to moan or groan out load. Helena laid on her side, eyes clothes and mouth open, waiting for the warm wave to subside. It took some time to come to her senses, but part of her wished that they would have not returned at all. Self-loathing returned as soon as the pleasure was gone. Helena withdrew her hand from her crotch. It was glistening with her juices, and the panties themselves were soaking wet. She forced herself up from the bed, walked over to the wardrobe where she found another fresh pair and changed. When again appropriate she made her way through the house - thankfully everyone were still out - and put the damp panties in the laundry basket. While washing her hands she looked at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were rosy.

"I'm fucking crazy." Helena whispered to her reflection.

The reflection agreed, of course. What could it else do?

***

Evening came at last. The sun was slowly settling in the west, painting the cloudless sky in delicate red colours. The day was ending, and Helena had some trouble containing her excitement and nervousness.

"Have you brushed your teeth?" she asked her sons.

"Yes mom." said Erik and nodded. "But do we really have to go to bed yet?"

"It's half past ten." Helena said, looking at the clock. "It's getting late, so yes - you two are going to bed. And no movie watching -" she added, using her most motherly voice. "If you try I'm going to hear it."

Both Erik and Alexander looked somewhat disappointed, but they obeyed her command. She watched them climb onto the prepared couch futon. Her heart squirmed in her chest, but she forced herself to push all those painful, guilt-filled thoughts away.

"You heard that your dad is going into town tomorrow, right?" she said. "I don't know how long you sleepyheads will want to sleep tomorrow, but is there anything that you want?"

"A water pistol." Alexander immediately declared from under his blanket.

"A water pistol?" Helena raised an amused eyebrow. "You already have a new one. Oh, don't tell me that you broke it?"

"No, it's not broken. I just need a larger one." the boy explained. "Like a big gun, so I can have more water in it."

"That you will have to discuss with your dad." Helena replied with a soft shake of the head. "And that will be another day."

"Maybe he can buy some candy?" Erik, always the paragon of moderation, asked hopefully from his place next to the wall.

"What kind of candy?"

"Milk chocolate, and the more the better."

"That you say?" Helena said, chuckling. "I will see what I can do. Alex, you?"

"I want chocolate too."

"Alright." Helena walked over to the light switch and turned off the lights, sinking the living room into soft shadows. It was not completely dark yet, and some of the dying sunlight was still seeping in through the windows facing the veranda. "Good night. And no movie watching, you hear me?"

"Sure, mom."

"Then good night. Sweet dreams."

Helena stayed for a moment or two, both to make sure that the boys were lying down and to just admire them. Time flies quickly, that is a concept that any parent realizes all too soon. Maria and Rasmus had already retired to their bedroom, and with the boys now in bed it was only Helena remaining. The cottage was silent once more, and hopefully it would remain such through the night. Helena checked the lock on the door and then headed for her and Lars' bedroom. He was already in bed, undressed and reading a book in the light of the bedside lamp.

"Did you get them to bed?" he asked, glancing up at her from the page.

"I hope so." Helena walked over to the to the wardrobe, opened it and started undressing in front of it.

"Was there anything they wanted for me to buy?"

"Water pistols, among other thing." Helena said smirking as she pulled off her t-shirt. "Alexander wants a big one."

"A big one?"

"Yes. One that holds more water in it."

"Huh."

"And then they want candy, too. Chocolate, and lots of it."

"That's easier to come by."

Helena had dropped her clothes and was now pulling on her nightgown. It was thin and light, and perfect for summer nights. She dressed, arranged the discarded clothes on a chair for tomorrow and then stretched her shoulders. Lars had put away the book and watched her with a little smile on his lips.

"What?" Helena asked softly.

"Nothing." Lars replied, eyes tracing her body. The night-gown only reached down halfway her thighs, and when she moved it had the tendency to slide up to her hips. "Just looking at you."

"Oh do you?" Helena smiled. "Do you like what you see?"

"Always."

She put down a knee in the bed and bent forward, allowing him to kiss her. Suppressed the self-loathing inside of her, forced it out and put on a mask to hide it. She could not allow him to notice anything. Helena climbed onto the bed and nestled in beneath the blanket. Reached out and turned off the bedside lamp, sinking the bedroom into darkness.

"Good night." she mumbled.

She heard him turn around behind her back and put a hand on her hip. Not in a suggestive way, mind you. Not yet anyway.

"Helena."

"Yes?"

"Can we talk?"

Her body immediately froze to ice beneath the covers. She stared out into the darkness, afraid to breathe.

"Yes?"

His hand was still on her hip. For a while he was silent, and Helena felt an uncomfortable fluttering in her stomach.

"Are you alright?" he asked her. "You have been... weird."

"I have?"

"Yes."

Helena tried to figure out what to say.

"I... I have not been feeling very well." she said. "Been under the weather in general."

"You are not sick, are you?"

"I don't know. I don't think so."

"Is there something bothering you?" he asked, gently stroking her hip and waist. "You have been quiet. Has something happened? I mean, anything I can do about it?"

She shook her head. Then, realizing that something more had to be said, she turned around and faced him.

"It's nothing." Helena whispered. "I don't know, it's just that I have been feeling down in general."

"Are you sure? If this is about me not coming with you to swim yesterday..."

"No." she pressed her forehead against his. "It has nothing to do with you, or anyone else. I've been down, having had some trouble with sleep. That's all."

"Are you sure?" he asked again, and Helena's heart squirmed. God she hated herself.

"Yes."

She kissed him again and then rolled over on her back. He remained on his side, watching her in the dark. His hand was still on her hip, gently stroking her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, not accusingly but rather curiously.

"Just rubbing your hip." he answered with blunt honesty. It was possible to see him smile in the darkness. "Anything wrong with that?"

"Not really."

His hand moved down and found its way in under the nightgown. It slowly made its way across the bare skin of her leg, went to the hip again and then onto her stomach. Helena lay silent, eyes looking up at the ceiling as she felt her husband's touch. She did not stop him. In fact, part of her wanted this. His hand came to her lower abdomen and travelled downwards to her mound. The sensation of his fingers brushing against her newly shaven skin was something special. When they finally brushed along the length of her labia Helena smiled.

"We are not alone." she mumbled to Lars, feeling his finger trace up and down the sensitive folds. "The kids are not asleep yet."

"We could be quiet."

Helena chuckled softly and rolled over to face him again, but she let his hand remain between her legs.

"Maybe not tonight." she said. "I'm tired."

His silence appeared disappointed, but Helena made her best to disarm it. She leaned forward and kissed him, putting her hands on his neck.

"What about tomorrow? If we put everyone to bed early maybe we can get some peace."

"If that's what you want..."

He kissed her back and withdrew his hand from her sex. It felt bad to let go of him like that - his touch had been pleasant.

"Tomorrow." she promised, both him and herself.

She rolled over to face the room again. It was not because she did not want to be close to Lars, it was more that it was how she felt comfortable and closer to the cooling air seeping in through the window. Lars put his arm around her and grew motionless. Helena listed to his calm breathing, patiently waiting for the familiar snoring to replace it.

She felt terrible. And even worse - she felt like a terrible person. She hated lying. In the darkness and near silence of the night there was nothing she could do to even try and distract herself from the thoughts haunting her. The only thing to do was to suffer them. Jack had said after midnight. One and a half hours until then. Pure torment. Helena wanted to go. She had thought about the entire day. Her body was still feeling the results of the last two times, but it wanted to have it again. Needed it. It craved another meeting. At the same time she wanted to stay here, remain with Lars. Kiss him and feel him embrace her. Forget about everything else. But Jack had caught her on a hook, and like a fish she could not do anything but flap around as she was being slowly reeled in. Even as she lay here in the dark with her husband's arm around her, she knew that she would go when the time came.

God, why did she have to be so fucking excited?

Time past incredibly and painfully slowly, almost like it was not moving at all. After Lars had started snoring Helena checked her phone, making sure to keep the light from hitting her husband's face and rousing him from his sleep. The clock on the display barely moved. But then finally, finally it was midnight. Four big zeroes shone at Helena from the display. She remained in bed, waiting for the minutes to pass. The longer she waited the better - every minute lessened the chance that anyone would still be awake. At least she sincerely hoped that it was the case. Fifteen minutes past midnight Helena slipped out of bed. Lars was calmly snoring, and did not even move when the weight in the bed shifted. Helena stared at him in the darkness, trying to spot any sign of him stirring or being awake. Nothing. He was out cold, it seemed. Helena tip-toed over the floor to the wardrobe and opened it as quietly as possible. Thank god it did not creak.

Inside she found the plain white knee-length dress she had prepared for herself. She took it and slipped out of her nightgown. Goosebumps appeared on her skin as it was exposed to the cool night air. Helena pulled the dress over her head and put the nightgown into the wardrobe. Closed. Tonight she would not bother going with underwear. Going commando. It would make it easier too, not having to bother with panties and bra. It was not like she was going to stay out the entire night - one or two hours was tops. Any longer than that and the likelihood rose that Lars would wake up and notice that she was gone. The feeling of being naked beneath the dress was incredibly exciting. Helena slipped over to her purse, which was hanging from a hook on the wall next to the door. She dug through it and found the handful of condoms where she had put them during the day. Tonight she would come prepared. The dress had two pockets, and she deposited her phone in one of them and the condoms in the other.

Ready at last.

Helena made sure that Lars was still sleeping and then slipped out of the room. Quiet as a shadow she crept through the cottage for the exit. Everyone seemed to be asleep, including her sons. Great. Helena unlocked the door and shuddered when it clicked. When nobody stirred or even made a sound she opened it and got onto the veranda, closing the door behind her. She found her sandals, and with them on her feet she headed out into the night. Her heart pounded so loudly that she was sure that anyone else taking a nightly walk would hear it, but as Helena scouted her surroundings she spotted no one else. Still, she refrained from using the flashlight on her phone until she was across the field and in the forest.

The night was calm and windless, and the sky above was pitch black with thousands of stars. No moon, however, but it was still beautiful. Helena walked through the dark forest, lighting the path before her with the phone. Excited, skin still covered with goosebumps. She wondered whether Jack would be there, already waiting for her at the beach. She was still relatively early, but he did not have to be as careful as she. He could just tell his friends that he wanted to go for a lonely night walk, while Helena had to shroud herself in clandestine practice to even get out of the cottage.

Finally she reached the lake. Its surface was dark and still before her. The world was shrouded in near complete silence, the only thing disturbing it being her own breathing and the sound of her sandals against the ground. When she approached the beach she realized that she was first. Jack was nowhere to be seen. She sat down on one of the old tree-stumps that had been placed in the sand to be used as seats and looked out over the lake. It was a little disappointing to be the first to this... meeting. She had been sincerely hoping that Jack would have been waiting for her here. Helena calmed herself down and tried to relax. She could wait. Soon enough she would hear his steps behind her, and then his arms would wrap around her from behind. His mouth would find hers, and Helena would disappear into his embrace. She could barely wait.

So she waited.

And waited.

But he did not come.

Helena's heart slowly - excruciatingly and painfully slowly - sunk in her chest. She was alone in the darkness. The night was empty. There was no sound of steps approaching from behind. She imagined it a few times, but each time she would turn around and look into the shadows there would be nothing there. No one emerged from them, and no one took her in his arms.