All Comments on 'Sun After The Storm'

What the fuck are all these semi-colons? The story is impossible to read!

This is Romance???????

Judging from some of your phrasing I would guess that English is not your native (first) language.

I suggest that if you intend to do any more writing then you should try to get someone to Proofread, and Edit, for you.

The narrative is turgid and it is hard to empathise with either of the characters.

Sorry, but it needs polishing.

Sorry, the poor grammar was getting in the way of the story. I don't think Liz33nd was much help either, or maybe she just gave up!

I managed to struggle through 8 or 10 paragraphs, but that was enough torture for me.

Belongs under erotic couplings if anywhere.

The English here is not conducive to good story telling.

There is a good premise there but badly executed.

Too rushed. Romance is about(among other things) anticipation.

Sorry to be cruel. Glad you had the courage to write and publish, but its needs serious work.

Decent short story