Super Secret Diary

"I will never," he said firmly, "Never. Do anything against the rules." He held my hips firmly in his strong hands. I knew he was standing right there. It was so hard not to look, not to glance back at him. I was scared that if I looked, I would see just how manly he really was.

"As we agreed, and until such time as our agreement may change, I will only kiss parts of you that I can see." He pulled my hips back a little more. I had to lean forward onto the counter, resting on my elbows. The coffee filter hung useless in my hand. I was breathing rapidly.

He put his leg between mine, and pushed my right leg outward. "Remember, Fiona, you have agency here as well. You are part of this game." He pushed my left leg outward as well. I felt so exposed... so vulnerable. But it was so exciting at the same time! I was sure my miserably chopped up little thong was doing a terrible job of providing coverage.

What could he see? Jesus, what could he see?

He felt so close to me back there. If he pulled me back even an inch, I was sure I would feel his groin against the taut flesh of my straining butt. And then what? Was he hard? I could hardly believe I was thinking about it, but I was sure he was. I would be feeling my father's dick right up against me.

Even as we stood in this ridiculous tableau, I heard Mr. Carrier from next door get into his car and drive away. The birds were singing. The sun was shining. Somebody was mowing a lawn. How could everything seem so normal when nothing was?

"I offered you this game when you were unhappy," Daddy said, his voice gentler now. His hands still grasped me, making little rhythmic pulsing pulls at the skin of my sides, pulling and releasing, spreading and letting go. "Fiona, if at any time you feel taken advantage of, just say the word, and we can go back to the way we were."

How could I do that? How could I go back to the boring, dull, average relationship we'd shared before? How could I do that when every fiber of my being longed to see what would happen next? Was I crazy?

I think you know the answer, oh favorite diary of mine.

"Um... no," I said softly. "Not... taken advantage of, exactly."

"So we're still going by our agreement, then, Fiona?" God, I loved the sound of his voice right then. So confident. So loving. So Daddy.

"Yes," I murmured, too embarrassed even to look up at him.

"Excellent," he said. "I've been enjoying myself far too much to want to give it up either."

I felt more than heard him kneel down behind me. Jesus, what a picture we must have made. Me, in my t-shirt, socks, and obscenely skimpy panties, leaning forward over the counter, pushing my essentially naked ass right out towards him. Him, in his business suit, tie undone around his neck, freshly shaved with his favorite cologne on, kneeling so his face was right at the level of my butt.

I was pretty sure he couldn't see my pussy. The cuts I had made left that portion of my undies unaltered. Still, I was willing to bet that the odor of my arousal was more than apparent. It was humiliating at the same time as strangely empowering to know that he was being assaulted by my female musk.

He kept his hands on my sides, and leaned in. The first kiss was right on the dome of my right butt cheek. So loving and gentle. So possessive. And yet...

"You're such an ass-kisser, Daddy," I giggled.

"Guilty as charged," he laughed. He kissed my left butt cheek as well, this time a little closer to the middle. Then his tongue came out and wetly caressed along my skin, into the crevice between my buttocks. I shivered, loving the feeling. This was insane.

"I love what you've done with these panties," he breathed into my ass. I could feel the warm wet air from his lungs curling across the most sensitive places of my anatomy.

"Really? Why?" I said softly, desperately.

"There's so much I can see, Kitten." His tongue slithered across the hidden depths of my ass. "I can see here..." Down, wet, hot. "And here..." God, he was so close to my asshole! "And even down here..."

"Mmmph!" My grunt was involuntary as I felt him lick right across the edges of the wrinkled skin of my anus. "Oooh... Damn... it's a good thing you can't see any more," I whispered.

"But I play by the rules," he said. "Even though it would hardly take anything to let me see all of it." His hands spread my ass open, pulling my skin taut. "Not that there's that much hidden at this point."

"Oh, God..." I sighed. "Daddy... oh, God, Daddy..."

"Yes, Kitten?" His tongue curled across the edges of my most secret of places.

"Is it... is it clean?"

"Let me see." He licked carefully around my asshole, never able to get to the itchy place at the center. "Mmmmm... delicious, Kitten."

I shuddered, my knees buckling. And then it happened.

See, diary, I hadn't counted on there being any pulling on my panties. The material I'd left intact was unreinforced in any way. All it would take was a little tug and it would rip. And Daddy's hands were on my hips, so when I slipped down a little...

Yup. The satin tore right apart.

"Eep!" I slapped one hand between my legs, trapping the trailing half of the front across my extremely wet pussy. The other half, the part that might have given me some protection, flipped up and onto my lower back. I was completely naked and spread in front of my father.

"Oh." He was lost for words, now face to face with a twitching and needy asshole.

"Uh..." I felt breathless. My hand on my pussy, the hand that was supposed to protect my girlhood from his kisses, was traitorously starting to stimulate me. "Um... Daddy?"

"Yes, Kitten?"

"I... I can't move, Daddy," I breathed. "Even though... Oh, God... even though you can see, like... everything now."

"That's okay, honey," he said lovingly. "There is no place on you that I wouldn't kiss. And I'll prove it to you."

And he did. Oh freaking God almighty, diary, he did.

His mouth came full into contact with my anus, his lips sealing around it. "Mmmmm..." he sighed as he kissed me sweetly, and then with more force. I pushed back into him, wanting more, needing more.

And his tongue!

Mmmmm...

Oh, God.

This is too much. I can barely write. I just need...

Mmmmm...

God, how much I love this.

I can't begin to describe the sensation of my Daddy's tongue pushing into my butt. Inside! He was insistent, his tongue hot, spearing. And I gave him what he wanted. Even though he wanted something he should never have wanted, his daughter's ass.

I'd never thought of that part of me in this way, diary. I mean, really, who does? Sure I've seen porn stuff, but they're just pretending, right? They get paid to pretend that they like something back there.

But this was different. This was... hot. Itchy. And Daddy was scratching it with his tongue in a way I'd never known could feel good. Inside. Deep inside.

I was horrified, part of me, scared to death something gross might happen, that he'd feel something he didn't want to feel. But at the same time, part of me was exultant. The idea that any man would want to do that to me, would love me so much he wanted to put his tongue up there... How could I ever doubt myself again?

And it was Daddy, diary. It was Daddy who was doing it to me.

Although, to be honest, it was me who was circling my clit with my fingers, stimulating myself even as he explored what he could reach. God, he must have had his whole tongue up me, his lips pushed hard against my butt.

And when I came? Oh, man. That was beyond intense. I couldn't even keep standing up, so I somehow tumbled bonelessly onto the ground, my hand between my legs, my body trembling.

Diary? This is freaking beyond belief.

I am so in love with my Daddy.

May 19 (later)

OMG, I can't believe I came like that. I feel super humiliated. How can I even look Daddy in the face???????

May 21

I can't believe it hasn't even been a week since that day. You know, the Day Daddy Proposed This Game.

Only it really isn't a game, is it? Or maybe it was at one point, but now it's craziness. Who is this Fiona, this girl who does... this kind of stuff? And who is Daddy? Who is this man who has taken me to places I never dreamed could exist?

And here's the thing. I know that part of this is just the amazing feels I get when Daddy does things to me. Part of it is only sensation, right? Only part of it isn't. Part of it is too hard to explain. I mean, who can explain being so completely and utterly in romantic love with their father? I have these fantasies of moving somewhere with Daddy, loving him... marrying him?! Having babies with him?!!

Let me explain by telling you, my wonderful silly super secret diary, all about what happened tonight.

Yeah, I got over my humiliation from the other night. Actually, it was all gone by dinnertime yesterday, when Daddy treated me with such love and respect. Nothing sexual about it. Just love. It was so sweet! He held my chair for me, and settled me in at the table. And we talked about our day, but it was like two adults.

Daddy is, like, super funny, too! Yeah, I know, stupid Dad humor. But, actually, when we stopped behaving like girl and man, and more like man and woman, his jokes stopped being so corny.

Anyway, I went off to do my homework, and blah, blah, blah. You don't want to hear about that. Even this morning, when I came downstairs in a little sheer teddy, nervous but hopeful at the same time, Daddy was just such a perfect gentleman.

"Good morning, sweetie," he said, looking me up and down. I shivered under his gaze, feeling a little like a gazelle in front of a lion. "I have to run, unfortunately."

"Oh, Daddy!" I whined. I was actually disappointed that we weren't going to play some more. Who am I kidding? I was more than disappointed. I felt an ache deep in my pussy like something had been torn out. You see, I had foregone panties in the hope that... well, you get the idea.

"Don't worry," he said softly, his eyes hungry. He stood up and came over to me. His hands on my shoulders, uncovered by the little straps of my teddy, the smell of his aftershave intoxicating. "I won't forget this amazing sight. All day today, as I talk with clients, research precedents, tell my secretary to cancel meetings... all day, I'll only be thinking of you."

He let his hands trail down my sides, tracing the lines of my ribs, the curve of my waist. "Thinking of everything I can see right now." His hands moved over the swell of my hips. I was whimpering now. Fiona, in her Daddy's hands, putty for him to do with as he pleases. Oh, God, diary. It's too fucking much.

I needed him. I put my hungry arms around his back, pulling him towards me. That gap between us, that space was suddenly too much. I wanted more than anything to feel him against me.

And did I know what I was going to feel? Of course I did, super super secret diary. I knew it, and I longed for it. To know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what Daddy felt for me went way beyond fatherly love. To know and to treasure the feeling of his desire, the immensity and rigidity of it.

"Oh, Daddy," I murmured, molding my chest against his, my pelvis pushing inward as his hands settled on my thinly covered butt. "Oh... Daddy..."

And there it was. Mmmmmm, diary, my friend, my confidante, the only thing in the world that knows my innermost feelings, I have a confession to make.

I was feeling my Daddy's cock pushed into my lower tummy. And it was hard and long.

"Tonight, sweetie," he whispered into my ear, his breath sweet and warm. And then he was gone.

I don't really know what happened today at school. I think I was in a trance for the whole day. All I could think about was Daddy's thing. How it felt against me. How he let me feel it against me. How his hands on my butt pulled me against it. And how much of a promise it was that he had given me.

I skipped cheerleading practice (first time in four years, diary!) and rushed home. I wanted everything to be just right. This was so freaking important! Everything in me, every fiber of my being, wanted this. I knew I was going to give my Daddy the best part of me, the last place he hadn't kissed, and I wanted him to know how much it meant to me.

Oh, the work I put in over the next several hours. And when I was done, I went over everything again. It was almost time. Almost the time when Daddy gets home from work.

You know that feeling, diary? That wonderful Christmas morning feeling? The anticipation that sets your heart pumping, the shivers down your spine? And how delicious it can be just to delay that gratification a little longer?

I heard the door open and close, and imagined Daddy finding a note on the ground, a note that told him to drink the glass of wine I'd put out for him, to take off his jacket and tie, and then to come upstairs.

I imagined Daddy starting up the stairs, to find my skirt on the first landing, and my blouse just below the top of the stairs.

I imagined him finding the note there, telling him to take a shower and shave, to make himself comfortable.

I imagined him walking into his bedroom, finding my socks on the floor, and my bra over the shower door. I imagined him taking a hot shower, shaving carefully, and putting on his favorite robe, finding in its pocket my last note, telling him to come to my room.

I imagined him finding my panties outside my bedroom door, imagined him picking them up and touching the soft cotton, the damp gusset, the smell of me! The smell of his daughter, the center of her, the womanhood that had fully matured under his careful guidance.

And finally, I heard the door open. Oh, diary, I can't lie to you. I can't keep any secrets from you. I'd already touched myself and come twice since I first heard the front door open and my wonderful Daddy coming home. But I also was so scared! What if... what if I'd been wrong all along? So I chickened out and put my sleep mask on.

So that when the door opened and Daddy saw my room, lit with a soft red glow from the scarf over my lamp and the flickering light from fifty little candles... when Daddy looked to the bed to see his girl, his Fiona, his daughter, naked and waiting... well, I had no idea what he was thinking, because I couldn't see him.

But he could see me.

"Oh, Fiona. Oh, darling." His voice was husky, so full of love. "I can see everything."

"I know, Daddy," I whispered, my throat dry. "I want you to. I want you to kiss me."

There was such a long pause, such a scary moment. He took a deep and ragged breath.

"I am so honored, honey," he said, and I breathed such a sigh of relief. He sat on the edge of my bed, and his hand caressed over my hip. I was so ready for him, I arched my center up towards him. "You look so lovely... so delicious."

I felt him reposition himself, and then his mouth was on my thigh, so high up, so close. His lips, his warm breath, his caress, moving inward. This was what I wanted, diary. This is what I'd planned for. And this is what I'd been most scared of. Because this meant everything. There was no turning back.

And then his mouth was on me, and I was cumming already. It was crazy! I was whining with the intensity of the feeling. The foreplay had been hours long, and even the little orgasms I'd had on my own waiting for him couldn't prepare me for this feeling.

I can't describe the feelings. I have nothing to compare it to, no wonderful metaphor that can encapsulate the depth and color of my emotions. Should I describe his tongue on me, in me? Should I try to explain how my sex felt, how my clit throbbed, how everything I could think of was centered right in the middle of my pussy?

Or should I even mention that the whole time he was kissing me down there, all I could think of was Daddy? Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. My hands on his head, my fingers in his hair, my hips pushing up to him, my cunt in his mouth.

God...

Mmmmm...

Yeah.

So, anyway. I don't know how long he was down there. Seemed both forever and a second long. But I was super relaxed finally, my limbs heavy, my mind fluttering when he finally pulled away.

"Oh, Daddy..." I sighed.

"Fiona," he breathed. He was still on the bed with me. "Fiona, love."

"Daddy?"

"There's still one place on you I haven't kissed," he said softly.

"Huh?" I could barely think. He moved up over me, his weight on his elbows. He was right above me, his body over mine. "What do..."

"See, all this time, I've been kissing places on your body," he went on. "Wonderful, special places, places you've given to me. I've loved the way you've let me in, let me experience you."

My brain was whirling. What was he talking about?

"But I've never kissed you. Not yet."

He pulled the sleep mask off my face. He was right there, Daddy. Wonderful Daddy. His loving eyes, the little smile that said how much he enjoyed being with me. The smell of his aftershave mixed with the smell of my arousal.

"Fiona, sweetie? May I kiss you?"

"Oh, Daddy!" I smiled. I put my arms around him and pulled him down to me, part of my mind acknowledging the fact that he wasn't wearing anything either. My legs were still splayed apart from the mindblowing cums I'd just had, and he was situated between them. Somewhere in my mind, maybe alarm bells were going off, or maybe I was glad to ignore them. This was too wonderful a feeling to be analyzing it too closely.

Our lips met. It was so weird to be seeing Daddy like this, so close, so fucking romantic. And he tasted... well, I guess he tasted like me, huh, diary? Is there anything so sweet as knowing a guy loves you so much to have your juices all over his chin? Just so you know, my wonderful thoughtful super secret diary, I had shaved during my preparation time, so there were no annoying pubes we had to deal with.

Just his tongue. Daddy's tongue. In my mouth. And I was whimpering with need, welcoming him in. I closed my eyes and let myself fall into the moment. I can almost never do that, just enjoy what's happening here and now without wondering if in some way I'm doing it wrong, or that someone is judging me.

With Daddy, there was no judgment. That's fucked up, right? I mean, of all situations, surely this is one where the judgment is obvious. What we were doing was objectively wrong, immoral in just about every society in history. But I didn't care.

In fact, my hands wandered down his back to his butt (which is in damned good shape, diary, in case you felt like asking). And I pulled him down.

I'll give Daddy this, he resisted for an instant. But then he let himself down.

Oh, man. You have never felt anything if you haven't felt a hard cock right up against your needy pussy. Even better when it belongs to a man you know loves you. I loved it! My Daddy's cock. Hard and hot, smooth and sliding in between my wet lips down there.

Everything was slippery between us, and my hips moved of their own accord. With no judgment, I felt freed to just express what I needed. And what I needed was more... more of him against me, more of my Daddy's love. And his mouth against mine, our tongues together...

Oooohhhh...

<3<3<3!!

Daddy pulled back and looked down at me. I was moaning uncontrollably, licking my lips, feeling his butt in my hands, his cock against me.

"Is this what you want, Fiona?" he asked softly. His movements matched mine, but he never let the tip of his cock any lower than the top of my pussy.

"Mmmmm... more than anything, Daddy," I husked. I never knew my voice could sound like that, thick and sexy, like a movie starlet.

"Because it's what I want too, sweetie," he said. "I didn't know it until the morning you came down in that tank top you'd cut up. When you started playing the game with me."