All Comments on 'Swingers - Emma and Noah Ch. 01'

There are typos and other errors here which are distracting, such as a lot of sentence fragments. For example:

" Nebula Rain, a leather clad (well-endowed) warrior woman, brandishing a laser pistol."

You need to change "brandishing" to "brandished."

" At her feet three shackled (blue-skinned) slave women." - did what? - "crouched", "huddled" "sat"?

" Noah's toned arms (HELD) himself in a plank position above her."

"science fiction book, Nebula Rain Space slave" Book titles should stand out, either with italics or quotation marks. The first letters should all be capitalized - "Slave."

Look up proper punctuation and the use of the apostrophe. You seem to just stick them in or leave them out randomly without knowing their purpose. An editor would be useful.

Fuck anonymous above. Let him write his own story.

This story has great potential. The wring is good and the characters engaging, I've read this opening teaser before and always hoped to see more chapters.