Teacher's Pet

"Tell her it's Jace Bradshaw."

"Hold please Mr. Bradshaw?" Her voice was replaced by hits from the 70's.

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head. But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red. Crying's not for me, 'cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining. Because I'm free. Nothing's worrying me.

B J Thomas seemed to fit the bill. It seemed rain was falling on me but Ronit would be instrumental in setting me free. I was just about to start singing along when Ronit Kampour's silky voice came on the line.

"Mr. Bradshaw, I hope there is no problem for you, what can I do for you?" she asked.

"Well, I've had a change of heart," I told her. "I want you to file and serve my wife as soon as humanly possible."

"Oh my. Are you sure this is how you want to do it?"

"I'm positive."

"Where would you like us to serve her?"

"Harris County jail is her address for the foreseeable future."

"Okay Mr. Bradshaw; it will be done."

I truly had planned to be nice to Katie and let her trial run its course before filing. I was basically handing the conviction to Cece and the DA, so maybe I didn't have to be a total ass. Plans changed though on Monday night.

Becky and I were lying on the floor watching The Simpsons and Family guy episodes we had recorded on the DVR, while Katie stared into space while clinging to "Pursius," as Becky had started calling her hand bag.

Outside the rain was coming down and I caught myself thinking several times that they weren't coming for Katie because of the weather. It was almost nine when the doorbell rang.

"Who in God's name can that be?" asked Katie.

"No clue," I said. "You expecting someone?" She shook her head "no."

Since Katie didn't come with me to the door I didn't have to feign surprise when I saw detectives Garza and Ramirez standing there. A very large constable's deputy and a mousy girl were standing behind them.

Keeping with the surprise approach Detective Garza introduced himself and those with him. "Is this 742 Evergreen Terrace?".

"Yes detective, can I help you?"

"Does Kathryn Bradshaw reside here sir?"

"Yes she does sir." I was having a hard time containing my laughter.

"We'd like to request your permission to search your residence again; we don't have a warrant."

"Jace? Who is it?" I heard Katie ask from behind me.

"Come on in y'all," I said to our visitors. "I hereby give you permission to search my residence." Katie blanched. If I noticed I was sure the officers had to have seen it. To his credit Detective Garza stayed in character.

"Ma'am, I'm Harris County Sherriff's Detective Garza, this is Detective Ramirez and Detective Lupkin." The girl nodded at Katie as she was introduced.

"And this is Deputy Constable Browlee," he said indicating the big man. "We'll conduct our search as quickly as we can and be out of your hair."

"Jace, we need to call Alan," Katie said. The panic in her voice was almost comical.

"Alan?" I asked. I knew Alan was the name of the little asshole she'd been screwing.

"Alan...I mean Ben. They can't search our home without a warrant."

"I gave them permission," I told her.

"You what!?" she screeched.

"Come on babe," I said in a placating manner. "We have nothing to hide." I hoped I was hiding my shit eating grin.

For the next half hour Katie clutched her purse to her chest as the detectives made a show of searching the house. Detective Lupkin gave my computer and Becky's and my cell phones a prefunctional look. Deputy Browlee just stood there looking bored.

I was enjoying the show. Katie played "nervous Nellie" to a "t" and Becky kept throwing her disgusted looks. She threw me an odd look just after Katie asked if she could go to the bathroom. Deputy Browlee told her she had to wait until they'd searched it.

All four officers gathered in the living room. "You guys are clean," Detective Garza said. "We're sorry to have intruded on your evening; y'all have a good night now."

They made for the door and it was all I could do not to tell them that they had neglected to give Purseval a cavity search. They were almost out the door, and Katie had visibly relaxed. Ramirez spoke to Garza in Spanish and Garza made an "Oh shit" face.

"Oh I'm sorry to bother you any longer, but my colleague just reminded me that we forgot to check Mrs. Bradshaw."

"You can't search me!" Katie screeched. The obvious fear contorted her usually beautiful features. "You need a warrant to search an individual."

I saw Browlee unhook the catch on his Taser, and Lupkin looked uneasy, but Garza and Ramirez were nonplussed.

"Sorry ma'am, but we can search you. Your husband gave us permission to enter the house, and you are subject because of the conditions of your release."

I was hoping Katie would act a fool and get Tasered, but a look of defeat washed over Katie as she handed Ramirez her purse. It didn't take him long at all to produce the cell phone. "Evidence bag," he said to Lupkin who produced one from somewhere. I knew Lupkin would break into the phone in record time since I had supplied the password.

"Please place your hands behind your head ma'am," asked Browlee. It marveled me that he was so polite to a proven pedophile.

She looked at me as if I was supposed to come to her defense. I wasn't really looking at her anymore. The look on her face had sealed her fate with me, resulting in my calling Ronit first thing the next morning.

I was prepared to share my bed with Becky that night. I made sure I wore a shirt and shorts, but she never came in. In the morning as we pulled into my sister's driveway, she asked; "Are you sorry you turned her in?"

"Who said I turned her in?" I asked.

"Please. If mom hadn't been so intent on not letting "Stephen Pursey" out of her sight, even she'd have noticed that you were expecting our visitors last night. So how'd you know about the cell phone?"

"I found it. She actually left Purseton Howell the Third on the wireless charger Friday night and I knocked it over by accident. I knew I couldn't be a party to a pedophile going free."

"Don't feel bad daddy, you did the right thing." She kissed me and opened her door. "By the way, I wanna live with you after the divorce." As she closed the door she chuckled. "Purseton Howell the Third. Good one."

Normally I only power my phone on at the end of the day to locate Becky. The day after Katie got arrested again, curiosity made me turn it on at first break. I had missed calls from Katie's parents and Ben Wise.

I first called Katie's dad. I really didn't care what he thought of me since I knew my blue collar ass would never be what he wanted for his baby girl. I wondered if he'd rate me over her future cell mate.

I was surprised that all he really had to bitch about was my not informing him last night that Katie had been arrested. I told him that after seeing what they found in her purse I knew she was fucked and didn't want to wake them when there was nothing that could be done. He seemed placated by that.

The same story didn't work as well with Ben. "Jace, you should have called me the moment the detectives knocked on your door."

"Well Ben, I didn't think we had anything to hide and was sure their search would be fruitless."

"Come on Jace. Everyone knows that you don't allow the police into your home without your attorney present. How can we know they didn't plant that phone on her?"

I wanted to say "Cause it's the same damn phone I found three days ago," but thought better of it. Katie would know my part when I was ready for her to. "She hasn't let that damn purse out of her sight since she's been home Ben. There were seven sets of eyes on him when he searched her purse, mine and Becky's included."

Ben started prattling on about how he could have prevented the search, and how I really messed up by not calling him. I quickly asked him, "Hey. If I tell you something I'm protected by attorney client privilege right?"

"Yes you would be covered if you tell me something," he said with a strange tone.

"You can't tell anyone?"

"No Jace, if you invoke attorney-client privilege I can't tell a soul."

"Good. I let the cops in because I knew Katie was holding that phone. I reported her, and they searched on the information I gave them. Now if you will excuse me I have to contact my divorce attorney."

He was sputtering and tripping over his words when I hung up and called Ronit Kampour's office. I had indeed changed my mind about waiting to file. Katie was served on Thursday. I knew because Ms. Kampour's office informed me that she'd been served, and because of the two phone calls I got.

Katie's father was furious. He called me everything but a human being and told me he was going to kick my ass. I laughed at him and told him to try it. Then he said he was going to sue to get custody of Becky. I laughed again and told him her attorney was Martin Blake and wished him a good life.

The second call came from Linda Vaughn.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing Bradshaw?" asked the angry shrew on the other end of the phone.

"Doing? Right now I am prepping my work station for a new parts run. That help?"

"That the boss?" Sal asked me.

"No, just some Dallas peon," I told Sal loud enough for Linda to hear. He looked at me funny and I mouthed "I'll tell you later."

"Dallas peon? Listen to me you illiterate shit, you know what I am talking about," Linda groused. "What part of happy family tells you to file for divorce when I am fighting for your wife's freedom?"

"I'll tell you what Linda, maybe you can get good ol' Dave to buy you a happy family, because my daughter and I are out of your production of It's a Pedo Life. Fucking Dallas peon," I said as I hung up. Then I sought out Sal and we had a good laugh.

One of the best calls came from Ben. "So Jace, am I wrong in assuming that that friend of yours who discovered that his wife was stepping out on him is you?"

I gave a chuckle. "No, your assumption is dead on."

"Am I also correct in assuming that you retained both Martin Blake and Ronit Kampour to keep the Landers from hiring them for Kathryn?"

"Half right there Ben. I retained Blake as Becky's guardian ad litem, I hired Ronit for me. I'm sorry I stretched the truth with you, but I needed to know who was best."

"Well Jace, between you and me, I think you've done the right thing. Good luck Jace."

I was too stunned to say anything before he rung off. The man hadn't had two nice words to say to me during the entire time I had known him; I also never knew that the lawyer had scruples. I can't say the same for my soon to be ex father in law.

He hired Dennis Greer to attempt to get custody of Becky. I was glad I had hired Blake for her and hoped he could squash it before my savings ran out. Becky ended up squashing it.

She called her grandfather and told him in no uncertain terms that if he didn't "cool his shit," he'd never see her again. He was also informed by Blake that grand parents have no rights in Texas as long as one custodial parent is able to care for the child. It also helped that she was over 15 and would have a say in her fate.

Since I was ignoring all of the calls from the Harris County Jail, I wasn't at all surprised to receive a letter from inmate J4W4355KB. I toyed with the idea of just tossing it into the trash since I pretty much knew what it would say.

I had received a similar letter two weeks after our failed Spring break trip. She had tried calling me several times, only to have me hang up on her when I'd learn it was her. After the phone calls stopped I found an envelope had been slid under my apartment door. It sat ignored on my table for a week. Then a letter came in the mail, it joined the first one. Finally I had to sign for a registered letter, so I figured if she was going to that much effort I'd read it. I read all three.

All three said the same thing with minor differences.

My Dearest Jace,

I know you're hurt, but it hurts me a thousand times more to know I have caused you pain. Sadly everything is a big misunderstanding and I can explain if you'll give me a chance. All I ask of you is to meet me Thursday night at Tully's Diner. Please don't doubt that I love you with all my heart and want nothing more than to take your pain away.

I love you more than life itself.

Kate

The days were different on each letter. I imagined her waiting there on the previous nights and wondered how long she sat there before realizing I wasn't going to show. When I went to Tully's, I was greeted by a teary eyed Katie, and her two best friends; Laura and Olivia. To their credit they were very cordial.

Between the three they were able to explain the chain of events. Laura had arrived at Katie's apartment to find a frantic Katie searching high and low for her bathing suit. Upon learning that she had left her more modest suit in Houston after her last visit home, they just told her to wear the bikini. They didn't want to be late, and Kati reluctantly agreed.

They also relayed how sorry and sore Greg was, "You really did a number on him," Olivia said.

After hours of talk, I agreed to see Katie the next night for a movie. Three months later I was down on one knee proposing. Six months after that we were in Cabo on our honeymoon. A year and a half later we were in the delivery room bringing Becky into the world. Almost sixteen years after we married I was reading a letter from my wife asking me to meet her face to face in the Harris County Jail.

* * * * *

Three weeks after I read the letter from Katie I was walking in the pouring rain to the visitor's entrance of the Harris County jail. Once inside I was searched and made to leave all my personal effects in a locker. After signing several papers, I was led into a long room with two long rows of cubicles. I sat in the cubicle that the guard indicated and waited.

The cubicles all had two solid walls and a window. A narrow metal ledge provided a place to put your elbows, since nothing else was allowed into the room. On the other side of the inch thick glass was a long gray corridor just like the one I was in. A phone hung on the wall next to me and a matching one was on the other side of the glass. Behind me other guys were being ushered to similar cubicles.

I wondered what sort of spin Katie would try to put on her story. I don't know if she saw me, but I was in the courtroom during a portion of her trial. What I heard only cemented the fact that I was doing the right thing by divorcing her pedophile ass.

I was there on the day that they read from the "victim's" deposition. I stewed as the kid described Katie's vagina. He described the birthmark just above, and the "J" tattoo that was supposed to be for my eyes only. It had been her way of making up for other guys seeing her in the bikini so many years ago. A doctor on the stand concurred that the defendant did indeed have a "J" tattoo and a birthmark in her pubic region. I guess my eyes are on a lot of motherfuckers.

I left during the lunch recess since I already knew the depth of her depravity. I wondered how long it would be before Ms. Vaughn tried to get Katie to cop a plea. I also wondered where the proud peacock David Landers was. Did he not support his daughter during her time of need? I guessed that he and Grace didn't want the embarrassment of knowing how fucked up their daughter was. I wonder if that was as embarrassing as being cuckolded by a fucking troll child.

The clanging of metallic doors and terse orders from guards drew my attention to the other side of the glass. I saw a parade of women in orange jump suits moving down the corridor, and when one of them sat in the booth I was in I don't know who was more surprised; me or the large black lady who sat on the other side.

I could see her mouth moving rapidly, I assumed asking who the fuck was visiting her. When she turned to get a guard's attention I could see an equally large black guy in the visitor's cubical on the other side of the corridor. He was laughing his ass off. A bewildered guard came over and looked at me, and then looked at the other guy and pointed the lady in the right direction.

When Katie didn't appear right away I had hopes that maybe she'd decided to forego our face to face. Then I heard the doors clang open again and a second parade entered the corridor. In a moment I was looking at my soon to be ex-wife through an inch of tempered glass. She looked forlorn. She also looked like she'd been in a fight or two.

I picked up the telephone hand set on my side at the same time as she picked up hers. "Jace! Your chin is showing! When did you shave your goatee?

"Well, a very sleepy Becky noticed the morning of the day you got popped with that phone. Shows where your focus was." She looked stricken, like she just realized how guilty she looked.

After several silent minutes of mundane small talk I said, "Well hell, they lied." Katie gave me a questioning look.

"Oh," I said. "Orange is so not the new black. Black is slimming, y'all look like highway equipment. Fuck, I saw a few pass by that Linus might think is the Great fuckin Pumpkin."

"I forgot you could be such a dick Jace," she said with a sad smile. "Where's Becky? Why isn't she here?"

"She didn't want to come and I wasn't about to force her."

"Damn it Jace, she's my daughter. She..."

"She doesn't like to be reminded of that," I said interrupting her. "She really didn't want me to see you either."

I saw a tear roll down her cheek as she asked,"Jace, why are you breaking your promise?"

"Promise? Just what promise am I breaking Katie?"

"Remember when we stood up in front of God and our friends and family and you promised that you would stick with me until death parted us?"

I was dumbfounded for a moment. Was she really accusing me of breaking a vow? "Oh that? Don't look at that like a broken promise; look at it as quid pro quo. You broke a vow, so I get to break a vow. See just a simple balancing of the books."

"That's not fair Jace. I didn't leave you all alone."

I was pissed, but I did managed to keep my voice even and emotionless, "No...what you did was worse. I am quite sure God and our family will understand my not wanting to wait for the horseman to separate us."

"I didn't do it Jace. You could have at least waited until the jury decided my guilt before filing. It doesn't look good that you did this during my trial."

'No? You know what didn't look good to me; the look of heartbreak on your face when they came to get your phone. It wasn't a "Oh shit I'm going back to jail" look, nor was it a "damn I'll miss my family" look. It said "Damn, I can't contact my lover now." Do you have any idea how I feel knowing you sought comfort in the fucking arms of a god damned kid? To know that you might have been thinking of that pizza faced bastard while I thought you were enjoying me? Hell you even felt guilty for cheating on him!"

She just sat there staring at me as I ranted. "Hell, I can't even take solace in the fact that you went after a younger version of me, because that little puke will never land a hot woman unless he has a thick cock or a thick wallet, and judging by your constant tightness, he isn't John Holmes reincarnated."

"You've got it all wrong Jace. You should wait..."

"I've got shit wrong. I saw the texts and the pictures. If those weren't enough, hearing the little fuckstick describing a tattoo that was for 'my eyes only' only cemented the fact I made the right decision. Have a nice life Kathy and don't cheat on your wife. I'm sure prison divorces are more painful than ours will be." I hung my phone up and left the booth and waited for the guards to let me out. I chuckled to myself because I knew how much she hated being called "Kathy."