All Comments on 'Telepath King Ch. 02'

keep up the good work man, the mix of love and dominance in your stories is something i've missed in the mind control section of lit for a while.

Proof reading, I don't know if you did it or someone else, it made this Ch. read smooth.

What will Madame Teresa have to say when she comes back?

Looking forward to the next Ch.

RG

Good job.

I am enjoying the story.

I hope you can continue to deliver the new chaoters.

I usually don't read stories that are in the progress of being written, but I enjoyed your first story about Jack so I'm taking a chance.

Keep up the good work.

RJ

great job, loving it so far!

Hope there will be much more to come!

Thanks for your comments! I didn't have anyone proof read this and sorry for it being short. It is a work in progress, though I have many more chapters to put on here. I like the mind control aspect of things, say my own dark fantasy and though my intent was to write a good story, it wasn't meant to be realistic. That's my take on fantasy. It doesn't have to be real or realistic. Anything could happen in a fantasy story.

I'm not trying to break out of the scope of reality, but I am trying to make it interesting enough. Thanks for reading!

The story started okay, but it is becoming a story that should go in the fetish category, as it is getting unpleasant. As far as proofreading; please stop using "you're" when you mean "your".

The fetish ending made the story too weird for my taste. It was good up to that point, and would have been a good story if you had left out that part...

This story is too hard to get into. Have you considered asking someone to proofread your work for grammar?

I stopped reading a while back, so I don't know what's going on, or how unpleasant it may be - I only got to this point to find the comments box.

when will people learn that spelling mistakes do not ruin a GREAT STORY.

every story has a kink in it. i'm guessing this one will have several.

just gloss over the parts you dont like and enjoy the ones you do.

I don't expect all authors to have a perfect grasp of English grammar. But what I do expect is, if you don't have good grammar, then get an editor/proofreader (they're not the same technically but for the purposes of grammar...). The bad grammar does really get annoying after a while ("your" not "you're"). And there are some great editors on this site; use them.

the plot's good but dude pissing in the mouth is just mean and gross

WTF man! Why did you have to go and make this gross? I mean, what kinda degenerate wants to piss in somebody's mouth?

I want to piss in her

well some people love the feeling and taste, and feelings.

Though find it peculiar that Tommy is treating the woman that saved his life as a slave rather quickly...

Fucking hell o_o stupid fucking piece of monkey shit