All Comments on 'That Was Then - This is Now Pt. 03'

I would still like to understand better how Brad got into Erica's panties. If that had been developed and followed the story would be complete. Without it, there is always the question about what is the difference between Then and Now. Does she have adequate defences?

thank you for NOT turning this into a BTB story.

Placing it in romance is fitting.

hope you got more stories up your sleeve, as i liked this one.

I have enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing.

Good writing, horrible plot, terrible ending. We never learn why she chose to cheat, just flippant remarks. Sure she told people that she was breaking it off with her football fuck buddy, but not one time in her soliloquy in chapter 2 did she say it. But she did say Brad was getting better at fucking her. And Evan has the cell phone showing her fucking Brad. What became of that??? He should have shown her the video.

This character, Erica, never, never, showed true remorse for what she did to Evan, and yes even Brad. He killed a man, and you treat it nonchalantly. I didn't understand the "crowns" justice system, so won't bother. Every time Evan told her his feelings she blows him off. Then he feels bad for how he treated her??? Good God, Saint Fucking Evan???

The secondary plots did nothing to enhance and drive the story, more like filler especially the brother of Sonja.

This one particular line is by far the most inane sentence in this story:

"But I never, ever, cheated on her. Not once, and not even since getting out of prison."

WTF??? How can you cheat on a woman who you caught fucking another man videotaped the deed, and kill her lover albeit inadvertently when you were attempting suicide? I almost wish your character did.

As I said good, writing, horrible plot, terrible ending, so many holes and loose ends, this story is a tragedy, and not in the Shakespearean sense.

Romance??? No way.

2 stars for writing.

Maz

Perhaps a “nice” ending…not too too unrealistic; BUT

There remain inconsistencies still raise SIGNIFICANT unanswered questions/issues.

1.) Erica saying to Evan her times (sex) with Brad became “scripted”-but contradicted by Erica saying “(Brad) You are getting better every time.” “Getting better” does not seem to be support Erica’s claim of sex with Brad was repetitious and “scripted”.

2.) Erica screaming to Brad during her last fuck—that Evan heard “She never had it so good”– I would think Evan would have been devastate that WAS NOT her “best” lover”- so, perhaps Evan was “not good”. I think Evan having heard screamed by Erica, needed to ask her that question as to the truth of regarding “best” and had that point explained when Evan asked Erica the pointed questions.

3.) Did Erica continue screwing Brad (3 more times) because Brad was a better lover? – 2 and 3 above infer such- your ending in Part 3 does even address those matter(s)—Evan is not dumb; said “what was I supposed to think”

4.) Still a question if Erica has a motivation to “make things right” because of her family’s and friend’s

5.) Erica saying it was a notch on Brads Prick (male slut) – but was it not a notch on Erica’s pussy (female slut)—because it was just sex. Call Erica what she is.

Sure would have liked the above to have been addressed in your finale

great job ruining the story

ERICA WAS SEDUCED BY A SMOOTHER TALKER--ALL THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS ABOUT HER BEING A SLUT SHE WAS SEDUCED BY A MALE SLUT. SURE SHE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM TO GO TO HELL BUT SHE HAD NEVER BEEN WITH BUT ONE MAN. THE STORY WAS DIFFERENT BUT I THINK IT HAD A HAPPY ENDING FOR ERICA AND EVAN THEY MARRIED HAD A FAMILY SHE SEEMED DEVOTED TO HIM.

RON TEXAS

Just another waste of time cuck writer on this site, yes cuck, Evan was a fucking wimp that took the slut back, won't bother reading any more from this so called writer, too many plot holes, too many unanswered questions, TOO much of the slut just blowing off her actions!

Well thought out characters that reacted to their environment and situations. Depression is a horrible state of mind and dealing with it can be difficult. I appreciate that the inmates were able to get on with life and succeed. I really enjoyed your story. Thanks.

Evan went through hell and fortunately survived,

Recovering from depression is very difficult and impossible to understand for those who have never experienced it.

Brad was the lowest form of life, unfortunately there are too many Brad's.

You created a very enjoyable story.

Thankyou

Thanks for sharing. Your stories are very enteryaining.

Part one and two were excellent. Part three not so much. You got carried away meticulously elaborating on tedious details. I can't believe how long you went on talking about the financing for the renos for the cafe. Honestly, I almost gave up on finishing the story. I persevered and you eventually got back to the plot and it finished reasonably well. I will give it five stars because you are a good writer. Multiple typos throughout, but nothing major. Not sure I could make it through another one iF it meanders as much as this one did.

Recovery from betrayal happens when you are once again able to open yourself up to love and trust another person. Going back to the same one who betrayed you just means you are still locked into a cycle of dependency.

Too many plot holes. A lot of meandering as other comments noticed.

The purpose of subplots is to move the story forward, yours did nothing, in fact they bogged the tale to almost a standstill.

And for him to go back with Erica is totally illogical. She never acknowledged his feelings, you glossed over the video, and she contradicted herself numerous times.

As written she never seemed truly remorseful. To not blame her is also quite profound. If she kept her legs closed, a lot of people would not have died. You can argue that Brad was a sleaze, but she said yes. She initiated all the events that followed. Evan is sad to say, a wimp. Erica is a worthless whore.

Technically the writing is good, but that can't make up for all the inconsistencies.

3stars

it might be a soft and acceptable way to bring it all to a close, but the storylines do not match. for example:

"No Barb, anything but that. And that's final. I've spent over seven years getting her out of my system, so, no, I don't even want to hear her name."

Other commenters have detailed the discrepancies between the description of the encounter with her football buddy. What she told him during the act is not how she described it later. Nor was the trust issue ever discussed, let alone resolved. It almost seemed like the author had to have him suffer major brain trauma in order to secure the desired ending.

Sadly, this became a classic example of RAAC, rather than a resolution to the issues detailed in parts 1 and 2.

"And Erica, could she ever forgive me for the way I treated her? Yes, she had wronged me, but she didn't deserve the hell she'd gone through. Of course, much of that I had no control over, or knowledge of, but still..."

"but still" what? When a drunk decides to drive he/she deserves everything that proceeds from that mistake. Erica spent years in remorse and regret, having plenty of time to formulate a plan of either closure or reconciliation with Evan. When she finally gets her face time with Evan, "It was just sex" is all she's got? She wanted some jock cock, and by her own words loved it. Evan continues to wallow in his self-pity, but then appears to accept some blame for Erica's suffering? A great writing effort, but your main characters lack substance and logical behavior. By this point in the story I couldn't care less what happened to anybody. But I am glad you told me that Fran drives a Lexus, has a very large diamond engagement ring, and that her building security system is going to be upgraded from card swipe to retinal scan. All these critical details just made the story that much more riveting and meaty. In the same vain, I should end this review by describing what I had for breakfast, including what brand skillet the eggs were cooked in.

it's a free story and a LW story on a masturbation web site,. read it and jerk off and let others write reviews who know what they like and enjoy! You're just a nasty asshole

***** In spite of everything that happened to them both, her betrayal, his moment of madness, this was the right result for both of them. The story made sense, it was well laid out and the reader got a very good sense of what they were thinking. Nice character development of the supporting cast too, with interesting side stories. Very enjoyable read of a difficult scenario.

If Erica needed more sex and loved Evan..why didn't Erica tell Evan such!

The facts made it sound that Erica had planned to call and split from Brad that very same day when she was caught...BULLSHIT..she called Brad only AFTER she was caught by Evan. Yet all bought her "lie" and she lied to Evan about the "planned" break up day. No doubt if Evan would have not had caught her she would have kept fucking Brad because he getting "better"..for perhaps a far longer time. I would suggest that Erica'z bad time afterwards was NOT due to her remorse for cheating on Evan, but rather the tight leash her parents put her on. AGAIN lame-ass "it was just sex"..no direct apology ever from Erica. This story, if written with plot holes fixed and a more repent Erica >>would work!!! The ending may be right, but there is little logic now supporting its path to the conclusion (unless Evan is brain-damaged from birth)

A very very sad message one could easily glean from this story as it is now written, is that: "With enough lies and no real morse, a girl (Erica) can still have her cake (life long devoted love of Evan) and it eat it (slutty-selfish-cheating sex with Brad) too!!,"

too much wimpy crying suicide attempt in first chapt.

the chapt 3 tree accident was outta place, my opinion.

3 stars.

20 Comments None of them good reviews. ... awful...

There are bits and pieces of a good story here mixed in with the garbage.

She had no idea that he was in prison?

Really?

For seven years?

It would have been in the news constantly, "If it bleeds it leads" is a well known principle of news agencies.

How could she avoid reporters since she was part of the "love triangle" that led to the killing?

She had no interest in him for years, or she would have known about him going to prison.

She lies to him about the sex with Brad, and he knows it is a lie.

She has no remorse.

Reconciliation?

Worst idea for him, there are at least a hundred million women that would be better for him.

Thr good: reasonably well-written and interesting story. The bad: accident, injury, and hospital device - over used. The ugly: reconciliation. As others have noted, very unlikely this man would take her back after what she did and the consequences he bore for his and her actions.

In her defense she was young and dumb but she paid her price and so did he. It was all her fault but glad it all worked out

What is a "good review"?? At least ten of them appear positive to me, things like excellent, enjoyed it, and five stars do not fit with awful in my vocabulary. I admit that there is a big plot hole. with her finishing the semester and claiming that she knew nothing further about him. But we all read it to the end and it is an RACC so the score is pretty good under the circumstances!

Completely unbelievable tale, due to very sloppy storytelling with characters and events that completely change from one chapter to the next not to mention major plotholes that jump off the page and scream WTF!

This story would be shredded if posted in any under section and rightly so.

The story in it's self wasn't too awful bad, there were things in here that really didn't need to be in here. This started out to be a nice story then it dragged on too long with the things that weren't really needed to describe the main point of the story, otherwise it wasn't too bad of a story. next time cut out some of the bull crap that isn't relevant which will make it a story instead of it ending up as a saga. But never-the-less it was a god story. good job.

I thought it was a good read and insightful - I enjoyed it. Some people never get over their first love especially romantic people. I know I'm one of them - still trying to get my happiness back after a cheating incident 30 years ago. Your story made me feel a little better. Thanks for writing it!

At a point or two the story seems to drag or get bogged down. However, when one considers the entire story it is an enjoyable and entertaining read.

Pathetic

Was hoping it wouldn't turn out this way but it had all the signs ie everyone basically forcing him to have "closure" with Erica no one telling him to let go and live his fk'ing life. Nail on the coffin was that part about him some how being responsible for her hurt? Soon as I read that it was wtf?! and RAAC.

Then & Now...Here & Now,,,,one thing doesn't have to do with another. TK U MLJ LV NV

PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES SOME NOT AS BAD AS OTHERS BUT THEY WERE MENT TO BE TOGETHER EVAN AND ERICA THE 2E. 5 STARS IN MY FAVORITES.

IS THERE A SEQUEL ABOUT THE TWO IF NOT THERE SHOULD BE.

IDEAS FAMILY BUSINESS RETIREMENT LOOKING BACK OVER THERE SECOND CHANCE TO BE TOGETHER.

RON TEXAS COWBOYRIDECC@YAHOO.COM

Excellent writing. I'm a BTB guy when it comes to cheating slut wives but, these two weren't married. Does that make the pain any less, no. That said since they weren't married it should have been a painful learning experience for both of them. I'm also a realist and understand that this story was about depression and circumstances as much as it was about betrayal, perhaps even more so. I still have problems with taking her back, but in the context of the story it is consistent with the characters and their actions and feelings. In the end it is just a very well written and thought provoking story, and you just can't ask a lot more of a story than that.

HEY! it's time to forgive and forget! Erica didn't deserve any of the shit that happened, it was just a fuck (best fuck e v e r!) besides she never had to worry about being seduced again, brad (best fucker e v e r!) was an idiot walking in front of flying bullets. Being highly educated Erica knew the difference between making love (simply sticking your dick in S L O W E R) and just a fuck (best fuck e v e r!) Yes they did finally get married true love won out. How did they know? DUH Einstein they both remembered how each other liked their coffee. Just to prove it's was all over and totally forgive Evan went to court and had his name changed officially to Wimp E (evan) Chuck. Erica being an enlightened highly educated woman kept her name the same. Erica decided she would make hints at a threesome with Jim or maybe even a swap with jim and Sonja, after all just fucking was A LOT of FUN!!! She just knew Wimp would be all for it....................

"She leaned down and gave me a kiss, then another one, longer this time. "Evan, you know I love you."

"I love you too Erica, but if you ever cheat again just remember what happened to Brad!"

enough said!

You're a talented writer. I read this all the way to Part 3, page 3....then I stopped when I realized this was turning into a RAAC.

Negative reviews here. A writer is an artist with words and a story. You entertained, you kept it interesting, and you made the reader want more. This it not a loving wives story. You did well. 5

She destroyed his life, and you brought them together. Maybe not horror, how about S&M, i could see them both having happy lives, just not together. Would have loved to see Francine get together with him, hell go gay and have him with Jimbo, but her, never. Some RaaC work, but this stinks.

When I started to read Pt. 3, I kinda knew where it was going. So I stopped reading, He killed someone over her and he gets back with her. He essentially threw away a bright future for a cheating whore. Why, why do they write the the main character so weak. I know this is fiction but sometimes you have to put a little of reality in these types of stories. I wasted half a day reading this drab.

I Loved this Story until I got to part 3 .. I agree He Tries to Kill himself .. Then he ends up killing her Lover and serving 8 years .. Then He takes Her Back .. Sorry I did not care for that Part ..

Despite the typos and such, Chapter 1 seemed so believable, it was almost spooky. 4+*!

Chapter 2 was almost as good.

Chapter 3? NO. Just NO.

Evan almost killed himself he discovered Erica was a "whore". He did kill Brad. He spent a year in a mental institution before going to prison.

HE STILL MARRIES HER?!?

NOT a believable outcome.

Thanks for sharing, but 2* seems generous for the ending.

This Individual Reader.

I know you stated this is fiction but some things don’t fit. Like prisoners can get laptops? Really? And most courts say you can’t continue to see other felons after release as a condition of parole. Plus what was his friends crime? Did I miss that?

It ran too long too. And I agree the ending was unrealistic.

Shouldn't have let the cheater back! 1 star!

I too find it kind of hard to believe he would take her back. I was hoping he would end up with Frances after she defended him so vehemently that you would think she had a crush on him. There’s lots of stories on this site about kids who literally grew up together and at some point fell in love. All but one that I’ve read ended happily for them and the one that didn’t they remained friends but no more cuz he couldn’t get past what she did. Seems inconceivable to me that, growing up so close they were almost like twins, that one would cheat “just for the sex”. Especially if he just ‘seduced’ her instead of her wanting something to happen.

Disgusting ending of a story that went downhill. RAAC.

None of the issues like the lack of trust or the sex being better with her lover were really addressed.

this was bad very bad. Good thing you're not writing anymore. You don't have what it takes.

Terrible. Marriage is based on love, trust, and loyalty. She didn't love him enough to not cheat, he shouldn't trust her not to cheat, and there's no way she will be loyal. RAAC is just as ridiculous as BTB stories.

I found the story a very sad but entertaining read. It was well written and had great character development. With the way they ended up reconciliating given all of the circumstances, neither one of them had found anyone or been intimate with anyone after 7 years and in the end, they found that they still loved each other, they married and lived happily ever after. After reading the comments, I see that most will disagree with my comments or how the author ended it, but I liked the way the author saw to end this tale. 5 stars

I reluctantly gave this a 3/5, l think it should probably be less.

Although seduced she chose to cheat for better sex, she exercised free will and slept with Brad four times and she really enjoyed the sex. It was just sex she said. She loved Evan but she loved Sex with Brad.

Would you keep her?

I wouldn’t. She out and out cheated because she wanted to. Forgive her?

No!!!

She can rot in hell.

So yeah, 3/5 but that score and the story are overrated.

Just no.

Simply awful.

7 years in jail, but happily ever after. What nonsense.

At least put RAAC in the tags and save the wasted time.

Rubbish. Play kissy face after 7 wasted years. Just No.

Second time around my opinion and score remains unchanged. My earlier comment still stands.

Still 2/5

"And Erica, could she ever forgive me for the way I treated her"? What kind of simp logic is that? Why do authors try to oversaturate Nobility?

School shooter finds love again? Nah, this story was absurd. And she's stupid for getting back together with a murderer. Part 4 should have Brad's brother getting revenge. College kids cheat, it happens, murder is beyond a stupid response to it. Oh and anyone else notice...... "I woke up and made a cup of coffee, then I met so and so at their house where we had coffee, then had a meeting where we met at the coffee house". Apparently 20 and 30 year olds just drink coffee all day long? Nitpicky yes but it's kinda dumb

You wrote a reasonable story, but to me you over did the filler, bit too many words, so in the end it just became a simple story about a cheater and how he forgave her

Story is well written and in the main internally consistent right up to the end. Everything going on fine and then he married the toxic bitch?!? Sheesh. I know RAAC is all the rage but that's just ridiculous

What a pussy

Thank for this story, well written, I imagine it took a lot of time and I appreciate your work.