The 150th Slave Pt. 08: Alternative Ending

Turning to Hochwasser, I asked how, as a woman, she could put me through this and did not this weird lust of her husband upset her? Her response was anything but sympathetic, "Laurel, I never liked the way you played around with the partners at the firm to get ahead. Josef intends to involve me completely in his fantasy. I have made up my own fantasy about being Ayn Rand. I think it is fun. Don't try guilt tripping me. You played around and lost. And don't tell me what I should feel as a woman. You don't know anything about how I feel."

It was surrealistic. For months I worked during the day at the office on bankruptcy, M&A and tax business before meeting Fergusson and Hochwasster at my condo. Every day, seconds after we got into my condo, I was nude and Hochwasser had her very practiced tongue working around my clitoris while her index finger worked my G-spot. After I inevitably came hard whether I liked the idea or not, Fergusson started fucking me for keeps in my own damn bed with Hochwasser soon to have her cunt in my mouth. I felt like the most subjugated person in the world. My womb, my mouth, my life were all being sacrificed for the pleasure and ego gratification of people I did not like.

But the sickest thing is that I enjoyed it in some way. Some part of my brain wanted me to be like one of those religious people who reenacts the passion of some martyr and finds ecstasy in sackcloth, thorns and flagellation. It did not hurt that Fergusson had had years of learning how to get me off. So, during these sessions my contractions were working to pull his seed where it could do the most damage with cameras recording everything but the faces of Fergusson and Hochwasser.

Except for a few nice dinners, I was hardly anywhere in New York but at my desk at the firm and on my belly or back in my condo. Fergusson could not chain me to the desk during the day, though, or keep me away from money that was mine in the view of the normal people at the firm. I was able to go out a few times for a walk and to do some personal business. Some underwriters had to be bribed with sex, money or both and I invented some interesting tailored notice clauses.

I guess I should have been pleased that Fergusson and Hochwasser were working to make my impregnation fun for anyone. Except for the fact that the whole thing was horrid, the sex was intensely good. Often there were even foursomes with a special guest penetrating my ass while Fergusson placed his sperm in my vagina and I pleasured Hochwasser. Walker was the special guest twice. Others I did not know.

Ferguson said that Svetlana had agreed to it all and even gave them a discount (lawyers aren't as rich as computer billionaires even when they are as big of assholes) as long as she could schedule men to have anal sex with me during the impregnation period, work me gingerly during my pregnancy, and film the whole thing. Fergusson also hinted that some other deals had been made even before the Lotteries of Submission that resulted in me becoming a pain slave. Anyway, Mother Nature did her work without anything artificial to my knowledge. Immediately, I was flown back to Bolry to work as a full sex slave as soon as they determined I was pregnant.

Back in Bolry, three months pregnant and having spent much of the flights back throwing up, Svetlana (and her bodyguards) met me at the airport and took me to dinner at the Hotel. Later, she brought me up to her room to provide lip service.

After I thought I had greatly pleased her patiently building up between her labia with light little butterfly wings while working inside on her G-spot with my fingers, I asked Svetlana not to go through with taking the baby from me. "Don't you see how cruel it is to have me carry my own child and take the child from me? Will the BLC never let me raise a child of my own?" I said before beginning to sob. "Yes, I understand very well that it is cruel, but I do not understand why you think the BLC should care," Svetlana replied. "I also understand that you are not like many of the other sex slaves who don't care about children but you should have thought of that before you signed up for the lotteries."

She also gave me a history lesson, explaining that if the separation upset me, I should just remember that for centuries European noblewomen did not take care of their children. "You should think of yourself as royalty. You will be pleased to hear, though, that we are not planning on you having as many pregnancies as Maria Theresa, Alexandra Romanov, or Queen Anne, and all of your children should be healthy."

She paused for breath. I said, "Svetlana, you know that lecture was crap. I won't feel like royalty. I'll feel like a 16-year old who got knocked up by her 17-year old boyfriend and has to have the child because an abortion was too expensive, has to put the child up for adoption, and spends the rest of her life wondering what happened to her child. Unlike the 16 year old, I will not have 25 years to have another child I can raise. For the first time since I met you, I think you are being deliberately cruel." I felt like crying and begging but instead I grabbed a bathrobe belt that was nearby in the room, probably left by Boltzin or one of Svetlana's other playthings. I remembered something I had learned as a kid in summer camp.

Almost mocking my pain, she prattled on, "We think we can maximize profits if we have you have a child about every 20 months. So, not counting the ones from the harvested eggs and assuming there are no twins, you should have 4 to 6 children in your future; more later if we use your fertilized eggs to impregnate you in your late 40s and into your 50s. Don't worry about maintaining your figure. We are going to work you relentlessly after every birth with belly dancing, sex and other exercises combined with scientifically controlled diets so you will be hotter than Victoria Beckham when you reach my age."

She saw then the hangman's knot I had tied with the bathrobe belt and tossed around my neck. She paused. She looked off in the distance for about 10 seconds. She said, "I sometimes forget that that 'do unto others as was done unto you' is neither the golden rule nor necessarily good business. Regarding your future, we don't know the future and even the circumstances in which things occur can make a big difference in life. You know we will be hard on you, but never make it better for you to end your life. In fact, you know that we will never make your life so bad that you can't perform well in bed and that I value your help in Bolry as a counselor."

Svetlana paused again, smiled, and added, "I appreciate your interrogation technique. The BLC could learn a lot from you although I doubt any of the bastards who work there could ever acquire the subtlety necessary to do cunnilingus nearly so well. "

I knew I could not move her or get any more information then. I cried much of that night. I wasn't acting. I would have cried and cried even if I had not known that Svetlana had someone watching me on surveillance cameras all night to make sure I did not do something rash with towels or sheets.

Next, there were months of sex slavery in Bolry with customers who'd been told to be more gentle with the expectant mother than they normally are with pain slaves.

All four of my sponsors visited me during the last six months of my pregnancy. The sponsors are supposed to introduce the potential slave to the BLC and assure the BLC that she would make a good slave. They are also supposed to make sure that the BLC does not do anything to the slave that was not part of the deal. Some sponsors take the second role more seriously than others.

Mann visited when I was barely showing. We had a very nice time. I asked him why Hochwasser hated me. He suggested that she was mad that I'd gone to bed with other partners but not with her. He also mentioned that when she was young she'd had children taken away from her and awarded to her ex-husband because she had moved in with a girlfriend. "And so she takes it out on me? I have to make the babies she did not get to raise?" I said. Mann said that he doubted she had thought it out that way but the mind and emotions take very strange routes to resolve pain and seek happiness.

Mann's visit ended on a sad note. Fred said that he would not be visiting again until after I'd have the child. "I know it's silly, but I really don't want to see you obviously carrying another man's child. I hate myself for helping to put you in this position." I did not know how I felt about his feelings under these circumstances.

Fergusson met me in the Capital after spending days with Bolry government and BLC officials. He mainly talked to me about contracts, taxes and secured transaction arrangements. Svetlana was present for part of that meeting as were Jacobs, and a few BLC officials. I was a good sport and helped as much as I could although I felt like just vomiting on Fergusson at that point. Svetlana said she appreciated my willingness to continue to review and correct the firm's work, a comment that Fergusson did not appreciate at all. So some small revenge was mine. It was the first time I had been clothed in Bolry for a long while.

I had not expected to see the third of my sponsors, Walker. He was in Bolry to mess with other women. He really liked to abuse the German engineer, Lena, who had become a slave not long after me. He abused her both physically and by spouting his right-wing politics at her. When I saw Lena near the pool once, she sobbed that she would have been pleased to have beaten twice as much if only he had not tortured her with all the anti-poor, chauvinist, racist Quatsch during the beating.

Anyway, Walker visited me to say that he was pleased that Fergusson and Hochwasser would be happy. He also said that he had seen Crystal in Paris who was about as far along in her pregnancy as I was in mine. She was doing well both in her pregnancy and her MBA projects. "That crazy banshee seems able to deal with about anything except for kindness, which is not a problem for me."

The preggo porn that they had me do with customers (faces hidden) and BLC staff did not hurt. I guess it should not have bothered me given everything else I had been put through but I did not feel like sex in the last months. Also, although I had long since lost any sense of modesty, having sex in front of numerous cameramen and the nurses that Sofia insisted be present to assure that the Fergusson/Hochwasser baby and the BLC's slave were not harmed, was a bit of a turn off.

Childbirth hurts like hell. It's like the worst menstrual cramp ever. Crystal even agrees with that. I cannot imagine how women are talked into having over a dozen children. Maybe, I thought, like anal sex, it hurts at first but gets better after you learn to relax. Maybe, many women don't get a choice.

At the Resort, we get great pre-natal preparation and obstetrical care but C-Sections are to be used only in the case of an emergency and anesthesia only if we need a C-Section. Sometimes I hate being a woman until I consider the alternatives.

The last of my sponsors had flown out to Bolry a few days before the due date.

Ms Gentile was there for the birth and stayed at the Resort for the first couple weeks of the post-partum period. She did provide some comfort, assured me that things would get better and told me that a few people at the firm and the Long Island Club who knew of the situation thought that Fergusson and Hochwasser were taking the Laurel abuse campaign too far. She mentioned that while she was there, Mann was calling about twice a day to see how I was doing.

The worst day of my life was the day they took the baby away. They said that for health reasons and to help Hochwasser take over breastfeeding, I had to nurse the little girl for almost a week. If I had chosen to put up the child for adoption, I would have changed my mind. But I had never had a choice. I went into a profound depression. Svetlana did not come close to the Resort during the four weeks after the separation. On the other hand, as mentioned, Ms. Gentile stayed at the Resort for weeks and Sofia hardly left my side even when I slept. When Sofia had to sleep, another assistant was with me. About the second week of the post-partum period, I learned that Sofia had decided that providing physical pleasure to slaves was sometimes a good way to maintain their health especially if the slave reciprocated.

I almost resented it when I came out of my depression. Svetlana was right. I could live on hope. I was too healthy in many ways to let even a very bad experience lead me to despair. My libido returned completely after about four weeks, which conveniently for the BLC was as soon as they would have put me back to work as a slave anyway.

Ferguson and his non-trophy wife were very happy with their child I had at the hospital in the Resort. Publicly they claimed they "rescued" the poor thing born during conflicts in Eastern Europe. Later, whenever I was back in New York on firm business, Ferguson and Hochwasser had sex again in my fucking condo with the poor east European child's biological mother. I hate it, and enjoy it, and hate that I enjoy it.

I have watched neither the movie made of my pregnancy nor that made of Crystal's. I don't feel sorry for myself for most of what has happened to me but I felt that, while Crystal had it coming, the nine months of pregnancy and the separation imposed on me was very harsh. I admit Svetlana is correct that the risk was fully disclosed. She is also right that I am inclined to self-pity. But the fact I am prone to self-pity does not mean that I should never be pitied.

I understand the BLC showed a profit from the movie but not so large a one that Svetlana is eager to continue with the idea of "reproduction porn." Because the BLC did make a lot of money off of the sex and the child, it was clear I could expect more reproductive sex over the next few years as well as continued egg donation. Svetlana insists that I must not think of myself as a cow and goes out of her way to say that one of the main reasons that I am so good as a BDSM sub, as a sex partner and as a breeder is my intelligence. "Rich, egotistical men don't want to exploit dumb cows, they want to exploit beautiful, brilliant women."

Lactation became another issue. I continued to produce milk. Most of it was frozen and flown west. That seemed natural to me and I did not mind. Of course, it did not matter what I minded. I am a sex slave.

The BLC decided to take the nipple piercings out of women who were over 3 months pregnant or mothers. I had never been pierced but all the women who had carried children were decorated with little silver platinum necklaces with a little 'B" on it, either for "Bolry" or "breeder." I guess the nipple piercings were not bad for lactation but it was thought that lactating nipples were quite lovely enough without jewelry and mothers should have some different decoration than other pain slaves.

It did initially gross me out when some customers started milking me for fun by binding my breasts, stimulating, and squeezing them. Sofia even let a bunch of people milk Crystal and me at a post-lottery party to the amusement of many, including Leslie who happened to be in Bolry for a project. Leslie filmed the whole thing and said several women at the firm would have fun seeing that my "big udders" were finally being put to a good use. Naturally, the BLC filmed lactation scenes with my breasts bound and spraying, generally while a guy was spraying a different liquid in my vagina. Some customers even sucked milk from me. I found that really perverted at first but came to sort of enjoy it.

So, the lactation felt ok but it was hard to feel like a princess while being used as a wet nurse. Svetlana said we should be happy about the ongoing lactation because it would lessen the chance of pregnancy, although it is far from foolproof. The pumping ended and I was put back on birth control after about six months.

THE LOTTERY WENT ON

As it happened, the BLC got a large number of pain slaves over the two years after I became a slave. I did not follow how it all happened but a lot of the women I have mentioned above just kept taking high risks until they lost.

Some of the women who lost in some sense must have wanted to be pain slaves. Others fell victim to something almost the opposite of the Gambler's fallacy. The Gambler's Fallacy is that, if you've had a run of bad luck, you are "due" to win. No, you have the same odds as before, only less money. What I will call the "Bolrian Lottery fallacy" is the idea that some women have that if they have participated often and not lost, the Lottery Machine must like them or they are invincible.

Margaret, after surviving the "Lotteries of Submission," could hardly wait to sign up again, always doing so at the highest possible level of risk. She couldn't have needed the money. The third time she signed up to start in the topless round as a potential pain slave, she lost. When she arrived at the Resort, she acted like she was Margaret Meade studying a tribe in Samoa. I'm sure she realized that, unlike Meade, she could not come home from Samoa when her research was done. Maybe she thought that studying the Bolrian sex slave culture was her life's work that she could have her research published when she was 60.

Lena basically volunteered to become a pain slave at the reception after Margaret lost. She has done a lot of breeding ever since although she says that she is concerned that the planet is already overpopulated. Being tall, blond and German, she should have expected that right wing billionaires would try to use her to propagate the master race.

Walker insisted on her having his child just to add to the "Aryan" population on the planet and insisted on her carrying the child just to let her know her place as a "Fotze" (= cunt). That's what he told her. I think he is such a bastard that he exaggerated what a bigot he is just to make Lena feel worse. I don't know if there is a word for making yourself out as worse than you are in some respect just to make someone else feel worse, but, if there is such a word, it should not be a very nice one.

The fathers of other of Lena's children have been even less in tune with Lena's worldviews than Walker.

Lena has tried to get Svetlana to accept her overpopulation concerns. Svetlana answers that it is because so many German women have attitudes like hers that the Germans are dying out. Svetlana adds sometimes that thinking Lena's has worked against her philosophies. "Just what did you smart western women think would happen when you decided to leave most of the world's childbirth and child rearing up to uneducated, poor or socially conservative women." When feeling annoyed, Svetlana adds that the earth is far from overpopulated with children from beautiful highly intelligent women that billionaires are willing to pay millions to impregnate and that when she wants Lena's views on world problems she will ask for them.

When feeling kinder, Svetlana tells Lena that she is helping childless couples and developing feelings of solidarity with the billions of woman. Sofia, the slaves' friend, always reinforces the kinder message and tells Lena that to spite Walker they placed his son in a home where he'd be brought up by liberal Democrats. I don't know if that was true or something Sofia made up.

Lumila, the last of the Dimitry gang who wasn't dead or a sex slave, turned herself in a few months after I became a slave after having negotiated a deal with Svetlana. She was miserable in Bolry. The Pacific resort was an improvement.

Paula and Matilda kept taking crazy chances until they lost even though they did not need the money by the time they lost. Actually, Matilda never needed the money.