All Comments on 'The April Fool'

Wow….every time I think I’ve discovered the weakest man on the planet another contender arises.

lol - this is great. I see a lot of people just don't get the humor though.

Huh, WTF? The pyscho bitch wife castrates the husband and he does a Hee...Hee revenge session and takes her back? Geese.... shouldn't this be in the mental illness or sick fetish category?

Nope, no way and uh-uh! Kinda hard to feel sympathy for any of the nuts in this story - even his. A sensible person (even me) would have dropped her like a used rubber after her shit fit over the cousin.

After the kick in the balls, it's way past time to get on your horse and ride ......

wimp, he should have charged the bitch ans see that she got at least 10 years sentence

sorry could not come to grips with him staying with her after what she had done

Underrated! A creative solution for revenge that hurt yet did not divulge his complicity.

...qnd that was the end?

There is no way you would achieve the same type of satisfaction being castrated and achieving a true orgasm. There are a lot more issues inconjunction with this as well. author stating they simply went back to normal sex is asinine. It will never be normal again and additional issues will continue to plague and deteriorate performance.

The character Vicky has a lot of issues not addressed as described in this story needing professional help.

So now we know what it would be like if Lorena Bobbit had been a veterinarian. The portrayed wife here was a mental case. Somehow I don't think a husband would still love a spouse who did something this mentally unstable. What next, cut his nipples off? Geeze. And all those antics for 'payback'? Simpler to just divorce her on ground of physical and mental cruelty. Can you imagine the consequences? If a client, one would wonder if she tortured their pets when in a foul mood. A few months in jail would be the minimum real payback and loss of license. But then, if living in a Red state, the prison authorities would probably hire her for inmate care. Like that poor African immigrant in a holding prison who was sterilized deliberately by a nutty MAGA doctor in Georgia under the guise of "medical care" and other illegal immigant women too. I believe he got away with it too. I'm very glad this story was well written as satirical humor.

'Taming of the Shrew?'

Totally bizarre, author has quite an imagination.

(Was worried the the Frank's new hire would be in a 'compromised position' with the neutered husband.

Vicky would always remember that visual.)

Losing your wife, that wants to fuck, is much worse than losing your balls !

what the fuck its one thing to forgive the bitch if she were tricked into cheating on you but to forgive her and even protect her after cutting your nuts out there is no way in hell this author doesnt have a wife who is cheating on him while he happily eats the cum out of her

WHAT A WASTE OF TIME!!!

Que fue esto?

He should have let her rot in prison…..

There are no words to describe this abomination. Easily one of the worst ever. Just an incredible reach to think some dufus would keep saying I love her so much after mutilation. She went on a date and she goes ballistic when he is with a girl, and he just lays over? Just absurdity

Good lord what a terrible story, she physically castrates him and he lays there thinking about their life together after he recovers. Hell no! He should be divorcing her and ensuring she is thrown in jail. Dumb, simply dumb.

Loved this storey! The plot was just about believable enough to carry it through and was wonderfuly twisted. Could have done with a bit more proof reading as POV and basic grammer/spelling broke up a few times, but I still enjoyed it a lot. I am aware that all of you do all this for nothing and really appreciate it . I don't expect perfection, just hope for a good read which this certainly was.

Thanks!

So like every other guy with literally no balls he just rolls over and accepts his wife castrating him as being an overreaction to an April Fool’s prank. ‘Gosh darn it you silly girl look what you’ve done now’. They say there’s a thin line between love and hate but I think in this case it’s more like a thin line between love and utter stupidity.

Why do so many of literotica's contributors use the word sow when it is sew !! Damn it, , 4 stories 4 writers 4 times instead of sewing something up you are sowing it. You sow a field with seeds, you use stiches to sew a wound, you reap what you sow, you sew up a murder case, a female pig is a sow, so is neither sow or sew!!

The April Fool is anyone who reads this nonsense.

This was a really fucked up story.

What kind of dumb shit is this? Vicki goes to prison on page 1, the end. This is psychotic wimp shit.

The fuck???

Brilliant.

Sorry - 1*

Agreed! The MC must never of had any balls in the first place, the year he spent not having sex with his wife, setting up an absolutely worthless prank, she would have been screwing both the shrink and the neighbor, remember the sports jock she went on a date with, feeling zero remorse for she would have been fk'n ever guy in town guaranteed! Should have made sure the evil (Cee yoU Next Time), got what she deserved life in prison.

what a waste of time reading this crap. No man is going to forgive a psycho bitch who castrated him let alone stay married to her and live together as a happy couple. Next time she gets mad, she will what, behead him?.

So unrealistic its a joke

Just wasted 35min of my life reading this drivel.

Thankfully this author doesn’t write anymore. The last cartridge was a live one 😂

Damn, there's nothing believable about this. The guy is castrated and as if they had stuck a finger up his ass, he doesn't flinch! I denounce the bitch so that she spends 10 years in jail. But what kind of love or shit does the idiot have?

Preposterous. 1*

First off, doctors rarely prescribe oral testosterone. It has way too many side effects for most people.

Second, the fact that you had them back together just completely ruins the story and makes me doubt your intelligence. Even in jest, this is just phenomenally stupid. Probably best you haven't posted in a while.

kinda funny but totally unrealistic as no rational man would ever trust a psycho like the vet ever again. I think in real world she would be committed to a padded room. rk/ 2*

You had the begining of a great btb revenge story, but you turned it into a pile of unreadable garbage. Why would anybody want to stay with a spouse that, without talking, goes ahead and permanently maims you?

Here's hoping you end up living through something similar and when that happens remember your story and just forgive and forget your spouse for such a silly missunderstanding because "they were hurt".

Ugly right down to the marrow. Bloated and hard to stay interested. Too wordy with too much unnecessary narration. Rates two stars.

Sterilization of the two assholes would of been appropriate payback, some crazy psychological trauma on them (maybe continous rape in a mexican whorehouse for 2 months), posting of the videos online so they will be haunted by it for the rest of their lives and a divorce from the crazy bitch.

They all got off scott free and the guy is one major wimp.

This outcome is ludicrous. A female circumcision with G-spot ablation and removal of both ovaries would be an appropriate penance for Vicky. Her loss of sexual pleasure and reproductive capacity would serve both as retribution and as protection for society at large. This would be the price she must pay to avoid public ridicule and condemnation, a lengthy prison sentence and the loss of her vet license. Divorce on terms quite favorable to James would be a certainty.

The wife Vicky would have gas poured all over and then set on fire. After about 7-8 seconds,put out the flames so that the cunt is severely burned but not killed. This level of justice is the only way to deal with this oxygen thief.

Have to say I enjoyed a novel concept story. But I am thinking that a different story line could have improved it. Consider, divorce and selectively helping the prosecutor, her plead guilty of assault, and get probation on the mandatory condition of getting psychological help. Get the big D, evict the asshole 'friend', sell and split the assets, and keep the kids until nutty wife is certified by the shrink to resume parenting. No one in fact would stay with such a kook who would do such a thing. My only real world question is whether she would be a candidate for a sex offender registry? Certainly her professional life is over.

Beyond idiotic. The plausibility factor here is -100. Worse, it's misandrist horseshit. The husband, as usual in LW, is written as a complete cunt, and the wife skates. We would never see a story in LW in which a "loving husband" drugs his wife and gives her a hysterectomy, but afterward he really isn't legally punished, and she just plays a prank on him and welcomes him back to her bed with open arms. Now that I think of it, it would be a suitable punishment for a paternity fraud story. I bet such a story wouldn't get published here because of all of the man-hating feminists (including feminized men) involved in this site.

This is just so unrealistic. Any sane and reasonable person would have dropped her the first time. But there could never be any way back after cutting his balls off. Prison and divorce are the only possible way forward here.

Its a shame because the story is well written and the plot is well thought out even though the whole thing is just stupid

How could she cut off his balls when he clearly HAD no balls?

Simply pathetic

Jesus, I just...like how fucked up would that guy have to be to just be ok with being castrated. Person who wrote this has got to be a girl, or have lost their nuts to just minimize that monstrously evil act.

Awful story. The psycho wife castrates him and he still “loves her so much”. He had no balls to begin with apparently. He should have divorced the psycho bitch, put her in prison, and took the kids and left the state.

And don't forget: He who laughs last, probably didn't get the joke in the first place!! :-)

This story is just a giant pile of excrement.

A spineless wimp who had no balls even before his "wife" officially removed them.

So many things in this story are just WRONG. James is an idiot. Vicky showed him how psycho she was in high school. He should have dropped her ass then. Then to top it off, after she literally castrates him he still loves her and is attracted to her? Hell no. If someone did that to me, there would be no mercy. Emotional pain would be the least of her concerns.

How can you put that idiotic ending on such a well-designed story?

Unless you're a masochist and like castration, you'll see this insane slut in jail for the rest of her life. The care for his children is always given to him and the slut is out of his life! But, the author just loves men who are not only castrated, but who have no balls in life either!

Again, oh HELL no. They all go to jail.

This was the biggest load of crap I’ve read on this site - an that’s saying something …..

Good fiction. Liked the plot. I would’a had a hard time thinking this through after loosing half my brain, bhuuuttt…. Maybe it was because she didn’t cut off the thinking part? Moral of the story is: Hire a Vet… just don’t marry one.

Fucked up story. Should have sent her to jail, taken her license and divorced her. Horrible ending.

Well the bitch now literally can walk around with his balls in her purse... And he can feel all righteous and justified in making her cry for a year.

I for one would have loved to read this story where the women goes off the rails and kills the guys that set her up. Then the husband can raise the children single and marry a good and mentally stable women.

stupid doesn't even begin to describe how dumb this story is.

Lesson to take : Don't marry a dumb bitch

U focking wot m80

SHE LITERALLY, UNIRONICALLY CUT HIS BALLS OFF AND HE STAYS WITH HER?

I can only guess when Vicky cut James' balls, she really took his virility and turned him psychologically in an eunuch. The bitch practiced medicine without a license. She has to go to jail for a long time that, no matter how good her lawyer is. She acted impulsively and irrationally. She doesn't deserve practice veterinarian medicine either. I can't see staying married to a woman willing to castrate her husband in anger and as a revenge. Limiting sex with Vicky to create guilt, but giving her oral sex is limiting himself for sex, not her. The idea is stupid and pathetic as a revenge. All his mental games were bull shit and accounted for nothing really. I hated the progress of the story after the castration. Waste of time reading it. I guess he's afraid if he stops loving her, she'd cut his heart out too. Duh?

this actually had started with a good story line, but Ruined because he accepted what happened to him. Come on man, get real. Any husband/man would have to be a balless to not to go nuclear, never mind put as much distance between her and himself. He was and he ended up literally without them.

Really? She muttilated him and he still love her? It's stupid.

Yeah thats a no. She cut off his balls and he stayed with her. I mean love conquers most things but not castration.

I have returned to re-read this story. It is still, far and away, THE BEST April Fool's story on Literotica. I am surprised that no one has tried to match it. Every woman at least thinks about crudely castrating her husband from time to time and probably has shared her thoughts with a trusted friend.

As April Fool's Prank Stories Go...

This is the one to beatk

This wasn’t quite as good this time. They cut off his balls for fuck sake! How do you let them live after that, or want to keep the wife?

If a story doesn’t work for me, I try to write something constructive for the author. If this author is still writing (but not posting here, I had two problems engaging with the story. First, as others have noted, the main character’s interest in remaining with his wife is literally unbelievable, so it’s difficult to sympathize with his goal of restoring the marriage. Second, the planned revenge was too complicated to follow and took far too long to develop; most of the time, less is more. To stay with a story, readers need to find the story believable, feel some connection with the main character, and care about the outcome (unless the story is clearly intended as parody or satire). I spent the last half wondering why the main character didn’t cut his losses, and found myself increasingly losing interest in his unclear plan for revenge.

Left an anon comment on this steaming pile before I signed up.

I had forgotten this and how absolutely shit it was.

The scribbler of it is one seriously sick puppy

Should've kept it as a farce. How else are you supposed to tolerate a protagonist who is still head over heels for the woman who cut his balls off? No way she should be anywhere else but behind bars or in a padded cell.

I think that there is no way on earth that a man would still love a woman who castrated him. He would have used his legal eagle to bury her and the other two. Divorce her for abuse and mental cruelty and sought custody of the children as she was obviously an unfit mother.

This story is just way too stupid for it to be entertaining, when a story is shit nothing you say or do will make it better, skip it, you will be doing yourself a favour. ⭐️

What a fucking idiot. He should have prosecuted her ass for what she did to him.

No way anyone would not get her tossed in jail for a long time and lose her license. Nonsense. And what husband, love her or not, would be alone with that bitch!

This wasn't a story, this was a random collection of words thrown together in a very bad way.

Just awful.

Dumbass deserved it all just for not dumping the crazy bitch the first time. Stupid mc

So, his asshole neighbor - knowing his wife's temper, cons her into literally cutting off his ball, and the revenge that made him even with the man who cut off his balls was to get Phils wife to vomit on Phil?

Did he offer up his daughter 18 yr old pussy as revenge to the guy who started fucking his wife once she realized after a few years she was married to a cuck?

A non-story on all accounts,so....

Here, hold this L

This story makes no sense. On one hand you take a "joke" to the extreme by castrating an innocent man and then you let the sick bitch off? Come on give me a break. Even under the disguise of fiction, there is no man who would ever trust a crazy bitch wife who has just cut his balls off again, love my ass! Did Lorena Bobbitt get a second fucking chance to cut his dick off again? HELL NO he divorced the crazy ass bitch! Then you make another sick attempt at a revenge joke to get back at Vicky and Phil by faking a suicide attempt which doesn't read well at all. My advice.... go back to writing class or get another fucking job!

He should have sent her stupid ass to jail

It was long and drawn out but had me in tears for part of it and it was a very good story. It makes you think don't be to quick to judge without proper evidence.

I've read this twice and gave it a lot of thought. The husband's reaction makes no sense. His wife was insanely jealous, lost her temper and castrated him and all she gets in 90 days!? Considering her temper, she should have gone after Phil with the intent to kill him; or at the very least evicted him and grace with wit absolute least amount of notice possible. This "Joke" should have destroyed the two couple's friendship, resulted maybe in a civil suit against Phil for such a joke, and certainly would have ended up in significant jail time for Amy, and Amy and him would have been divorced ( not to mention a court order barring her from getting within 500+ feet of him for life). And Amy probably would go after Phil with the intent to kill him if he was still living, or arrange it. Sorry, you missed the boat on this big time. This "joke" went way over the top.

When the cops got there and found him castrated, they didn’t need his permission to charge her! They had the evidence in the bowl of ice. Vicky would have been charged even if her husband didn’t want her charged! She would have lost her vet license permanently! This whole story is screwed up!

This was just too much for my delicate sensibilities.

Overall I liked the story and feel it is worth a read. I am no literary critic and tend to go with a gut reaction. My unprofessional personal feeling is up to the castration the story is really strong, well worded, and flows nicely. After that point, it took to long to get to the revenge phase. In short, to me, it felt like the second half drug on a bit much. I like little details that add together and create continuity. This story was good for that reason. "Sid0604" ... It's been a long while for me since school but would give you a solid 'B' maybe even a "B+". Take Care.

JackSwan

The premise of the story is good but in the end, he's nothing but a wimp!

A long story about some messed up people, but strangely enough I enjoyed it.

When I realized that this was the exact same shit as the original, with a few extra pages of garbage thrown in. The original was utter moronic tripe, but at least it was original. You have no such excuse.

Why do authors on this site feel the need to add to, or rewrite other people's stories, only to repeat the same story again. I can respect authors that didn't like a particular story, or ending, and rewrite a new, original ending, but what is the point of doing the exact same thing all over again, with a few needless extras added on? You addd exactly nothing new or different to the original.

The whole premise of story is just not believable. And then it seems every character in the story is deranged or at least unhinged. Better title would be The Fool Story.

For leaving the toilet seat up. Still one of the dumbest stories on LW.

psycho bitch bunny boiler. really sad i read it

Every significant character in this story is insane. Two fucked up families produce a huge pussy for a son and a huge dick for a daughter. He’s a dumb ass for dating her in the first place and not sending her to jail

The 'wife' reminds me of the ones in edrider73 stories, the same so far over the top insanely vindictive vengeful behavior.

The 'husband' has the same acceptance of her vicious evil, he stays when any sane person would run for his life.

As to whether he could ever get another wife without testicles, why bother? He won't live long enough to worry about it.

His current wife has doomed him to a short miserable life of failing health.

That's pretty poor praise isn't it? The original was awful. This is merely bad.

I don’t necessarily like all the turns of the story, but at least the protagonist was upset his balls got cut off. Original is ridiculous.

Doesn't feel sorry for him. Like you, he is just another numb nuts wishing to castrate men, especially white men.take this crap and stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

I don't feel sorry for him

Don't know any occasion when pranks start escalating where people aren't speaking to each other or hurt badly

Do stupid things expect stupid results

Quit reading half way didn't feel good about any of characters

I liked the read but so far from any reality. Anger management needed as a child and then shown as an adult. I would have my balls as I would not have hung around after the "Amy" incident.

I know we need it for the story, but SHE goes out with another guy, then goes postal seeing him with another girl? Even if it WAS a date, and not his cousin, it would be fair turnabout. Why is this going to be SEVEN pages?

"She didn't realize Amy was my cousin" - Again, so what if she WASN'T his cousin? She dated another guy, why couldn't he date another girl?

Not that they ever do, but she didn't learn from her other over-reaction?

"I castrated him by mistake." - Um. no, she castrated him completely on purpose.

Phil and Grace were released, then they were arrested?

He doesn't want her in prison because he wants her income? Isn't he pretty well set for life with the insurance, settlement, his own business, his share of Frank and Sharon's business and his rental income? I know you're basing this on Halloween Prank, but you don't have to copy every plot point. Why hasn't this been pulled for plagiarism anyway?

With cell phones I don't think a phone bill is going to tell her anything about where he is. It's just going to show calls to and from hos cell.

If part of his revenge isn't fucking Grace while Vicky and Phil watch, something is wrong, LOL!

After the golf, why wouldn't he say that he didn't want Ron and Laura over?

"I answered" - "I" answered? "I" isn't there, he's in the basement watching on the laptop!

Only a sick fuck would put you as a favorite author. You have no talent but the SandM shit.

I have to agree with the others. As soon as she cuts off my balls she is in jail or dead as well as the others. how do you really think a guy would hang around and try to work it out. The idea is a good story but since no man on earth would do that it ruined the story.

I liked the story, but I disagree with many points. No man would NOT prosecute his wife to the fullest extent of the law for castrating them. If it had been me, I would have done everything I could to put her behind bars forever, and divorce her, and never let her see her children again. Hopefully, she would die behind bars. As far as the guilty neighbors go, they got off way too easy. Getting money from the insurance company was nice, but I would have terminated their lease and seriously considered contacting criminal elements to fuck Phil up permanently - castrate him, destroy his knees or ankles, paralyze him, etc...