All Comments on 'The Beginning...'

i loved your story and woul adore you if you continued it. its erotic and leaving me hanging in a good pleasant way.

Good Work :) I like it....definitely think you should keep writing...can't wait for the next one.

You have a nice sense of pacing. The first sentence hooked us in. Your story and characters are interesting. Your grammar and sentence structure needs work. Get an editor, so that it can be an enjoyable read.

Not shabby at all. Plot wise was quite intriguing. Writing wise a bit bumpy but easily remedied with an ed. Oh, welcome by the way and thank you for entertaining us.

I didn't like the ending. He's supposed to be this nice gentle vampire maybe but he hits her for being embarressed??? It doesn't go well with the rest of the story. but it was a good beginning and very good for a first time.

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i'm not sure when you posted it, or if you still care to, but i would love to read more of it. please.........pretty please........with ice cream, and sugar, and a cherry on top?