The Browning of America

"I'm sorry Frank. Once you start the procedure, you have to finish it, otherwise the whole test is nulled, and the institute loses the billing for it."

"What if I pay for the billing?"

"You couldn't afford it Frank."

"Oh," he mumbled, wishing he could just go home.

"Um, Frank, we do have a tantric setting - you know, where you stay inside your partner but you don't move, willing your orgasm through metaphysical powers, rather than through physical stimulation."

"Thank God! Dial it up, baby."

Erika got up to leave, but Frank wouldn't let go of her hand. "Wait! Can you dial up the tantric setting and then come back and be with me? I really need some human contact here. This whole machine thing is freaking me out."

"Of course Frank. I'll be right back."

A few moments later, the program resumed, but the tantric setting wasn't tantric at all, it was just super slow motion. "Woooooooould yooooooooou liiiiiiiiiiiike aaaaaaaaaaa bloooooooooooow joooooooooooob?"

"Straight sex," Frank responded, "You on top." It took Erika forever to climb on top of him, but once he was inside her, he was in heaven. He was even aware of her hands caressing his chest, and later, venturing down to his balls. He was surprised at how quickly he was ready to shoot, but he was able to stave it off for a couple more minutes, losing himself in the sensations of Erika's wet pussy and fluttering fingertips.

When he finally did cum, the cum sensor triggered Erika's orgasm, but it was almost comical the way her moans of ecstasy morphed into low, growling dinosaur groans. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Ieeeeeeeeeeeee cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum nowwwwwwwwww!"

"Me too," he grunted, feeling the seminal fluid flowing out of him like a river.

"Was that better?" Erika asked when it was over.

"That was great, babe, but I think you need to tell the programmers to work on that tantric setting."

"I noticed that," she admitted. "I think, at this point, they're just slowing it down to something like one-tenth speed, but they are planning on consulting with some yoga woman to set up a real tantric simulation."

"So, how much more time do I have to kill before I can get out of this freak show?"

"Roughly fifteen minutes."

"Shit!"

"Now Frank! You've got to stop saying that."

"Sorry."

"You haven't tried Halle Barry's ass yet. It's roomy, and once you're inside her, we could slow her down and see what happens."

"What about your ass in slow motion?"

"I'm afraid they haven't programmed my ass yet. I'm supposed to do that next week, but I keep putting it off. They want us to do the clear liquid diet, you know, empty the colon so the sensors don't get all gummed up."

"You mean Jessica Alba and Pam Anderson and Halle Barry all came down here and got sensors stuck up their asses and down their throats?"

"Of course not. We use body doubles for that, but don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Okay."

"Alright Frank. Stand by for Halle Barry's ass. She likes being slapped, by the way."

*****

Tension was rising in the control room as Doug jogged out to the testing pod to disable Penny's ass-plug.

"Connor. Here's that vice grip. You want me to do it?"

"Sure Doug. You can do it if you want."

"How's she doing?" Doug asked, crouching under Penny's ass to detach the pink plunger.

"Well, she's been crying for a half hour now, but we've hung a second bag of saline, so I don't think she'll dehydrate."

Doug listened to her pitiful sobs as he worked with the stripped bolt. It seemed unconscionable to him that a human should have to endure such inhumane treatment, but he was powerless to stop it. He was, after all, just another cog in the wheel, and if he didn't mesh with the direction the wheel was going, he would simply be replaced.

"Hot chick, huh?" Doug asked.

"No shit! Did you get a whiff?"

"Dude! Vanilla pudding. I should have brought that cup with me."

"What cup?"

"Never mind," Doug sighed, squatting by Penny's leaky butt. "Jesus, even her ass smells nice."

"Dude, check it out."

"Check what out?"

"She's about to shoot again. Come on."

Doug dropped his vice grip and went over to watch Penny's pussy explode.

"Thar she blows," Connor announced, as a spray of cum erupted from Penny's pink folds.

Doug stared down at the apparatus pummeling Penny's swollen cunt. The dildo was pneumatic, expanding to the optimum size dictated by the subject's vagina. The clit tickler was chosen by the attendant, who, while exfoliating the subject, would note her clitoral structure and check the chart for the matching attachment. It was scientific, it was perfect, and yet, it was cold and soulless, with no ability to perceive pleasure or pain beyond the cheap sensors and the brain-waves displayed on one of the computer screens.

The inhumanity of it all was overwhelming to Doug. Sure, when he first started on the project, he thought he was saving the world, but Penny's choking sobs made him realize that sex was not strictly a scientific function, it was a metaphysical one, a bonding of souls, and, as yet, they hadn't figured out a way to program a soul into their modules.

"Poor kid," Doug mumbled, "she had no idea what she was getting herself into." He grabbed a tissue from the dispenser and dabbed the tears off her cheeks, but it made no difference because they just kept coming. All he could think of was scooping the poor girl up in his arms and carrying her away, but he knew that would never happen.

He got back down on his knees, working to get the stripped bolt free, but he had to wait for Penny's spasms to stop before removing the offending appendage. Then he remembered the nipple clamps. "Dude, they want less pressure on the tit clips."

"Can do."

"Can I do it?"

"Doug. Are you falling for this one?"

"No man, I just like her tits." Doug sprang to his feet again and dialed the pressure back on the pneumatic nipple clamps. A moment later an audible sigh emanated from Penny's parched lips. With a feeling of relief rushing through his body, Doug grabbed another kleenex to wipe her sweaty forehead.

"I wonder if artificial intelligence was picking up 'harder, harder' and applying it to all the systems?"

"Wouldn't be the first time," Connor said, eyeing the EKG.

"Dude, you're supposed to report this stuff."

"Dude, I like my job. I don't want to get fired."

Doug returned to Penny's ass and pulled the plug, which elicited yet another groan of relief from the poor tortured girl. He turned to Connor "You know, I think this simulation is missing the whole point. Sex is supposed to be about sensitivity, not balls-to-the-wall sensations."

"Try telling that to the brass. Where do you think all the ex-GM executives ended up? Here. The only thing they understand is 'bigger' and 'faster'. Try to tell them to think small and you'll be out on the street."

"Whatever," Doug sighed, running his hand lightly up Penny's side. He let his fingertips linger along the edge of her breast, and she let out a quiet moan. He let his fingers trail up onto her collarbones, eliciting a pitiful whimper. He traced a line across her shoulders and down her arm.

"Oh Brad," she croaked, in a dry, raspy voice, "I like that. I like it when you're gentle with me."

From the intercom: "Doug! Get your ass back in the control room. Now!"

Doug hung his head, giving Penny one last caress, and then plodded back to his station in the control room.

"Dude!" the oriental dude complained, "What the fuck? First Erika gets all pussied out over Frankie, and then you go all ape shit over Penny. Are you trying to get us all fired?"

"People, please," the old guy intoned. "No one's getting fired. This is part of the scientific process. We must identify flaws in the system and rectify them, not pretend they don't exist. We need to be able to individualize the simulation to cater to the particular subject being served, rather than the population at large."

"You mean like, make it human?"

"Well, I wouldn't want to go that far."

"I didn't think so," Doug said. With a dramatic flourish, he grabbed the name tag dangling around his neck and flicked it onto the counter. Then he got up to leave.

"Doug! You can't go! It's the middle of your shift. Who's going to man the ass-cam?"

"Fuck you. I'm out of here. I'd rather pump gas and sling oxy-packs at the QuikMart than torture humans for Bill Gates. I don't need this shit, and my soul can't stomach it anymore."

The entire control room fell silent as Doug stomped out. A moment later, Erika came on the intercom.

"Excuse me. Could someone please fix Halle Barry's ass? Her sphincter just clamped down on Frankie's dick, and he's afraid she's going to pinch it off."

"Oh crap, not that again."

"Didn't Doug fix that last time?"

"Doug!" the sliver-haired dude bellowed. "Somebody get Doug before he clears security."

"What if he doesn't want to come back? He did seem pretty pissed."

"Tell him he can consult on the artificial intelligence team. He's a bright kid. We need someone like him to humanize this simulation."

Doug returned a moment later, a look of smug contentment plastered across his cherub face. "Everyone!" he announced, "watch and learn. Type: 'H B ass/undo'. Then hit 'enter'."

The room erupted in a smattering of applause as Erika gave them the thumbs up.

"Now," Doug asked, rubbing his dimpled chin, "how's the energizer bunny doing?"

"Um...she appears to be going exponential."

"Oh crap. What's the frequency?"

"It's doubling. Four minutes, followed be around two minutes, followed by another one at :58, and she just popped again at :31

"Dammit!" Into the intercom: "Conner! Hit the kill switch! Now!"

From Connor: "Fuck! The kill switch is dead. It doesn't do a damn thing."

Doug dashed out into the test pod. "Connor! Disengage the tit clips and then hit the pneumatic seat release."

As Penny's bucket seat wheezed towards the floor, Doug shoved a five gallon lube bucket under it so that her hips would remain level with the fuck machine. "Grab her," he barked, "one hand on her thigh, one hand under her ass. Hurry!"

With one guy on each side, they held her aloft while Doug kicked the bucket out from under the chair. As it wheezed lower, he gave the command. "Now!" They heaved her backwards and the whirring dido popped out of her pussy with a slurp. As they plopped her back down into her chair, she sat bolt upright, clamping her hand onto her cunt.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow," she gasped, her face contorted in a grotesque mask of pain.

"Shit! Is she alright?"

Doug got down on his knees and pried Penny's hand free. He slid a finger up against her labia, but they were clamped shut. "She's cramping. We need to stretch her open."

"Stop it Brad," she whimpered. "You're hurting me." Penny's voice was raw and hoarse, her arms pawing the air, her legs pinched together.

Doug grabbed the slimy dildo, ripping it loose from the pulsing pneumatic arm, and jammed it into Penny's quivering cunt.

"Oh Brad," she giggled, her legs opening wide. "That's nice." She eased back into her seat, her mouth hanging open, her breath coming in long, slow gasps.

"Dude!" Connor bellowed, "you broke the phallus. What the fuck?"

"Dude. She was in a biofeedback orgasm loop. I had no choice."

"Dude! We're going to lose a billable hour!"

"What are you talking about, asswipe? She's still hooked up. The machine's still running. Just let the simulation finish and no one will know the difference." Just then a spurt of white goo shot from the end of the pneumatic arm, splatting all over Penny's tummy."

"Oh Brad," Penny giggle, "you're so nasty." She trailed her fingertips down into the puddle and then swirled the synthetic semen up onto her tits.

"She's so fucking hot," Doug moaned, staring in disbelief as Penny sucked her dripping fingers into her mouth.

"Whatever," Connor mumbled, checking his readout. "She's only got a couple of minutes to go."

Satisfied that she was stabilized, Doug stood there watching as Penny slathered her body with Brad Pitt's fake semen. The sensuality of it, the purity of her desire, it was the antithesis of the simulation, and it was heartbreaking. Taking one last longing whiff of her pungent sex-scent, he padded back into the control room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Once again, he heard the smattering of applause, but he felt it was unearned. Anyone would have done the same thing. Well, anyone with a heart. No one had actually seen what an exponential biofeedback orgasm loop could do, and he wasn't willing to let it happen on his watch. In the computer model, it had lead to permanent paralysis of the kegel muscles, and that would have been totally unacceptable, even in a scientific study.

He watched through the window as the pneumatic arm wheezed to a stop. As soon as Connor had removed her VR helmet, Penny didn't even bother with her robe, she just struggled to her feet and staggered towards the door, the sway of her perfect tits burned into Doug's mind forever.

As the others in the control room went about finalizing their data and preparing for the next test run, Doug brought his slimy fingers to his face and inhaled deeply, rubbing Penny's juice into his nose and mouth. "Thank you Penny," he whispered, his breath fogging the one-way glass.

*****

Bored with Jessica Alba's phony dolphin routine, Frank switched to Pam Anderson, who was immediately plugging the DVD boxed set of her VIP show. "For only $19.95..." He watched disinterestedly as Pam's humongous tits jiggled into view. It amazed him that at one time, Pam Anderson had been his favorite fantasy, but now, she was nothing but a tawdry memory from his younger days, a reminder that love was more important than the size of a woman's breasts.

He had her climb on top, but his heart wasn't in it. As she rode him enthusiastically, all he could think about was how much milk one of her jugs could hold. A gallon? More than a gallon?

"Five minutes Frank," came Erika's overriding voice in the headphones. He had just ejaculated, so he asked Erika to masturbate for him. Enthralled with her long legs high in the air, her large round tits vibrating on her chest as she worked herself over, he was hard in no time, and elected to cum in her mouth.

"Do you want me to finger your asshole, Frank?" she asked, hovering over him, her tits dangling.

"Sure," he gasped, feeling adventurous. The anal probe advanced, dribbling lube as it bored into him. "Oh God Erika. That's perfect!" After less than a minute of stroking, his load shot into her mouth, making a gagging gurgling sound as she took him deeper into her throat. "Oh yeah baby," he sputtered, "you got all those other girls beat by a mile." She just kept looking up at him, her mouth wringing every last drop of jizz out of his wilting cock. As her face faded out and the ocean scene faded back in, he heard Erika's voice coming from the real world, not his headphones.

"Hey sport," she whispered as she pulled the VR helmet off his head. "You doing okay?"

Frank looked around, all bleary-eyed. "I guess so." He watched sleepily as Erika pulled the pneumatic sheath off his slimy cock and replaced it with a warm, wet towel.

"A little sore?" she asked, as she swabbed daintily at his rubbery dick.

"No shit."

"There's that word again."

"Sorry," he laughed, trying valiantly to sit up. She grabbed him and helped him to his feet.

"You did good, Frank."

"I feel like I've been run over by a truck."

"No, you were run over by Halle Barry's ass."

"And your mouth."

"Frank!" she giggled. "That wasn't real, so don't make a big deal out of it."

"Sorry," he sighed, watching her heavy tits straining at her top as she marched him towards the door. They reached the locker room and she gave him a little shove.

"It was fun meeting you Frank."

"Likewise. Nice tits, and I love your smell."

"Shut up," she giggled, giving him a gentle slap on the arm. Then she turned and headed back into the testing lab.

Frank wandered into the locker room, jumped into the shower for a minute, and then climbed into his clothes, feeling heartsick and confused. Although he hadn't actually had real sex with Erika, he had definitely shared a sexual experience with her, and it was troubling. Not troubling enough to keep him from enjoying it though.

He was just tying his shoes when one of the crew from the front office returned to lead him back to the reception area. He slogged down the hall, listening to the sales pitch.

"We're going to have spas all over the country, and if you sign up now, you'll get the charter member rate."

"Can you just leave me a brochure? I need to talk to my wife about this."

"The charter membership offer is only available within twenty-four hours of your test date. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity sir. You can even reserve Erika as your personal assistant, since demand will undoubtedly make her unavailable unless you're on her VIP list."

"Thanks," Frank sighed, already losing interest in Erika's intimate charms. She was nice, but she didn't compare to Penny, who, in spite of their political differences, was the woman he was meant to be with.

Trudging down the long hall, he couldn't help but wonder who his wife had chosen for her simulated sexual partners. And he couldn't help but wonder if she had enjoyed it as much as he had, at least initially. There was a lot to think about, but he was confident he and Penny could work it all out eventually.

As he staggered into the front office, he spotted his sweet wife, slumped in a chair with a sheepish grin on her face.

"Hey baby," she grinned, cocking her head in that lovable way that hooked him all those years ago.

"Hey," he smiled, taking her hand. They sauntered out into the sunlight, hefting their breathing canisters back on and slathering their exposed skin with radiation-block.

"Well? How was it?" she asked, a hint of apprehension in her voice.

"Oh God," he sighed, "it was brutal. My dick got caught in Halle Barry's ass."

"Halle Barry? That was broadminded of you."

"I started with Jessica Alba."

"You perv!" she giggled. "I got Brad Pitt, but he was too rough for me, at least until the very end."

"Yeah, I don't think mechanical sex is where it's at. I think I'd rather just be with you, honey."

"Oh, you're so sweet." She cuddled up to him, and it was as if they were back on their honeymoon, all those years ago.

"Babe?" Frank said, nuzzling her neck.


"What is it Honey?"

"I was just thinking, after vacation's over and we get back home, do you want to move to Canada?

"Why Canada?" she said, stopping in her tracks.

"I've had it with the mechanization of America. The escalator. The oxy-packs. The radiation block. We've completely lost touch with Mother Nature."

"This? Coming from mister technophobe? What made you change you mind?"

Frank sighed, scuffing his shoe in the dirt. "It just seems like we could be living a more meaningful life if we quit letting technology make all our choices for us."

"That works for me," Penny grinned. "What are we going to do in Canada?"

"I don't know, build a cabin in the woods, make love out on a lake, play the banjo on the front porch."

"I'm with you on everything except the banjo."

"Cool" Frank sighed, pulling her closer. Surrendering to the magic of the moment, he continued: "So honey, I wasn't going to tell you, but while you were in the gift shop earlier, some Indian dude came up to me and said for $100 he'd lead us to an abandoned trail that goes clear down to the bottom of the canyon."

"Frank!" she blurted, tears welling up, "You'd actually bypass the escalator and hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon with me?"

"Of course I would," he said bravely, realizing that, for the first time in his life, he was ready to accept Mother Nature - and his wife, without trying to change either one of them.