All Comments on 'The Corner'

.....I bet she has more clients than friends. And I bet she's working on the side and not telling you about her new obsession with fucking. Good thing, too. She got arrested and Dame had to go bail her out. He was so mad, he made her fuck every man in the billiards club down on 22nd. She has to get checked weekly for STDs and you never get to fuck her anymore, 'cause she's too fucked out or had a vag tear and can't fuck for two weeks. As soon as she's able, she's back out on the streets for Dame.

But why would you want to fuck her anymore, anyway? Two abortions and it looks like she'll never have kids....so your family line dies with you, unless you take up with her best and much hotter friend. When she get preggers with your baby, you move out and move on. You don't divorce wifey, 'cause her entertainment still provides good income.

Just YUK!

About as erotic as watching paint dry.

1* for this husband!!!! One sad and no morals human being...Worst than an animal...

So we are supposed its think its exciting and arousing to have a wife turn into a whore? And the husband likes it? You must be an imbecile to think such shit is interesting.

But Ronnie will like it.

and this is about as mentally ill as it comes

are boring and pathetic! gave you a 5

Delicious

And at 5'6" and 200 lbs there is no way she "wears it well". She's a fat toad. I'm surprised any of the men wanted anything to do, but some guys will screw anything that moves and some guys don't care if it's moving. This was just a nasty story. Not cleverly told and both the husband and the wife were really unlikeable characters which made for a story that wasn't entertaining to read. And because Bonnie liked it you KNEW it had to be bad. 1 star for bad storyline and horrible dialogue.

Like this crappy story, no class.

Sorry, 5689. I always like to encourage new writers, so here goes. Your writing craft isn't too bad but better proofreading would help. Pretty sure the personal pronoun I is always upper case. You do have a better than average story telling knack, for a first timer, BUT the story you chose to tell leaves a lot to be desired. The first requirement on this site should be erotic. Do you think anyone found anything erotic about a wife stupid enough to turn tricks and give all her dough to a pimp? And what kind of husband do you envision getting turned on by that?

Suggestion--review the LW stories for those with 3.8 to 4+ ratings, study them and compare your story to those. What's different--how could you rewrite yours for a better score? Above all, don't take this criticism as personal. I like to write and I expect you do too. If you want to ask questions or personally tell me to mind my own damn business feel free. You can contact by my bio page. GOOD LUCK!

Horrible story about stupid people

Anything that idiot bonnietaylor2 approves, is most likely to be trash. 1* to offset her meaningless and worthless score.

At 200 pounds there's plenty for everyone.

Get out of moms basement and get a job.

This is totally fucked up story. Not even funny, sexy or horny. This story makes me feel angry as hell over what a stupid asshole the husband is. If she was my wife, I would have beet the whore out of her and take her to a deep jungle and leave her there totally naked and without anything at all. This was really a story what makes me puke of anger and disgust. Not many stories are more fucked up then this one.

Something else is to have sexual dreams and make it happen together but let the wife actually go and be a real whore is something else. Not good. Not good at all.

and she gets every std known to man kind and he can never please her again. As she dies from aids he can get his last hard on and say " I love you slut".

Nothing erotic about disease.

Fat ,diseased, whore turning tricks on the corner, and some guy called deerhunter thinks that is erotic? The rotted brains that some people pass as normal.

Piss poor writing.