All Comments on 'The Cupid Effect Ch. 14'

The battle of titans has begun good luck Dexter

Wow that was really good. Took a turn I wasn't expecting.

I was on 11 but skipped ahead to see how agnes could be a monster.

I'm extremely disappointed with how this story has turned out.

You took 2 friends, gave them sexual "powers", and turned them into evil sadistic bastards who hate each other and use everyone around them to strike at the other.

I wasted 6 hours of my life reading and watching a good story turn into a shit fight between 2 evil whackjobs. Thanks a lot.

I can't wait to see the inevitable destruction of Agnes. Maybe Kelsey will play a part in it with her new-found intellect.

I like Agnes a lot as a villain, and I was kind of hoping she would bang Tad as an act of revenge against both Dexter and Kelsey.

I like the story a lot, but I got to say Agnes' character development is the biggest criticism I have with the story. In the earlier chapters she's a well mannered, light hearted girl who's always looking out for Dexter. Then, out of nowhere, she transforms into a complete psychopath with no transition period; engaging in sadism, rape, and torture. Just 0 to 100 with no stops in between.

It's pretty clear that the serum is going to be the root cause of her dramatic personality change, but by waiting so long to tell us about it, you're forcing us readers to suspend our disbelief about her going from a plucky high school girl to the zodiac killer for over half a year now.

I was on 11 but skipped ahead to see how agnes could be a monster.

I'm extremely disappointed with how this story has turned out.

You took 2 friends, gave them sexual "powers", and turned them into evil sadistic bastards who hate each other and use everyone around them to strike at the other.

I wasted 6 hours of my life reading and watching a good story turn into a shit fight between 2 evil whackjobs. Thanks a lot.

- Anonymous 5/14/16

I like Agnes a lot as a villain, and I was kind of hoping she would bang Tad as an act of revenge against both Dexter and Kelsey.

I like the story a lot, but I got to say Agnes' character development is the biggest criticism I have with the story. In the earlier chapters she's a well mannered, light hearted girl who's always looking out for Dexter. Then, out of nowhere, she transforms into a complete psychopath with no transition period; engaging in sadism, rape, and torture. Just 0 to 100 with no stops in between.

It's pretty clear that the serum is going to be the root cause of her dramatic personality change, but by waiting so long to tell us about it, you're forcing us readers to suspend our disbelief about her going from a plucky high school girl to the zodiac killer for over half a year now.

- Anonymous 5/14/16

I’m going to respond to these comments despite my reservations about doing so:

It’s all part of the fucking plan.

BTW-My computer crashed taking a huge chunk of this story with it and I got things to do like working for a living, sleeping and taking care of loved ones. I’m doing the best I can to get the rest of this story and its companion pieces finished. I’m going to release the rest when its done and no amount of cajoling or verbal battery is going to change that.

Thank you for reading what I’ve written so far.

Appreciate the update! The wait will be worth it.

I could see Dexter's earlier exploits as being things someone in his position would genuinely do when they're suddenly given this new power and let it get the better of them. As bad as it was, it didn't come across as particularly evil to me, just a teenager who'd been bullied all his life suddenly finding power over others and deciding to make some use of it. Things went out of control and he let his anger get the better of him at times, but he didn't go full super villain. He's even finally realizing what he's done and seems to want to end it.

Agnes, however, comes across as maniacally evil in this one, and at first I wasn't sure how I felt, but the more I think about it, the more I like it.

I think he really needed the foil she's serving as. I'm anxious to see how far she'll go and how much damage she'll do before Dexter finds it in himself again to try fighting back. (I imagine after getting beaten by her as badly as he did, he'll be gun-shy, so to speak.)

It's also serving to really make me wonder just how in the world all this could possibly end in any sort of good way, or if it's going to be a total downer ending.

Either way, I'm anxious to see what happens. Good work.

Up until chapter 11 you had one of my favourite stories out there then you took it in a whole new directions. Angus became a complete psycho that's doing everything to destroy dexter all because dexter didn't sleep with her even though she turned him down. The last few chapters I barely even knew what was going on you mentioned things that hadn't happened yet then when it did it happened completely different than how you mentioned it.

Hey there...lol - it's all part of the fuckin' plan. that really made me LOL! Who cares what people think. you know that when people such as yourselves write, you write based on what's in you, YOUR story line, YOUR character development, YOUR imagination with all its twists and turns. Don't listen to the whiners.... and don't give up! Continue YOUR story when you're ready. Thanks for what you've done so far.

You absolutely HAVE to finish this!! This is without a doubt one of the best stories I have ever read!!!! If I was rich I'd PAY you to finish this!!

IM loving this story I usually have a problem with how dark stories are but this is going very well I just hope Poindexter can make a comeback. Very interesting naming sense not good not horrible just new. Im also very interested in that memory when he was caught, "experimented" and saved by Carol(?)Carly. Im wondering if you are going to bring that back as well.

This is a nerd’s fantasy, apparently written by a relatively literate teenager. Only relatively literate, mind you— the multiple usage errors show he had trouble with 10th grade English, when they try to teach vocabulary for college placement exams. As just one example, Mondotoken repeatedly uses ‘taunt’ when he means ‘taut’. He also has his protagonist “fighting consciousness”; was this a dream and he didn’t want to awaken? No, he meant “fighting unconsciousness”. Error such as this distract from the story, making it hard for the reader to concentrate on who is being raped by the main character at the time.

Having as a protagonist a nerdy 18 year old virgin with rape fantasies feels like the classic advice to “write what you know” fell on fallow ground. As a plus, though, it will be quite popular with high school boys who share the mind controlled rape fantasy.

Seriously!? Just STOP writing? Wow

Sad.

This is a nerd’s fantasy, apparently written by a relatively literate teenager. Only relatively literate, mind you— the multiple usage errors show he had trouble with 10th grade English, when they try to teach vocabulary for college placement exams. As just one example, Mondotoken repeatedly uses ‘taunt’ when he means ‘taut’. He also has his protagonist “fighting consciousness”; was this a dream and he didn’t want to awaken? No, he meant “fighting unconsciousness”. Error such as this distract from the story, making it hard for the reader to concentrate on who is being raped by the main character at the time.

Having as a protagonist a nerdy 18 year old virgin with rape fantasies feels like the classic advice to “write what you know” fell on fallow ground. As a plus, though, it will be quite popular with high school boys who share the mind controlled rape fantasy.

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Alright you have made some valid points here, but doesn't the fact that you are in my comment section make you also suspect? How did you end up here if you weren't looking sir or ma'am? It's a question I'd like an answer to if you don't mind. I suspect you will justify your presence in my library in some common fashion, but we both know that's bullshit.

You're interested in how things are going to turn out, admit it and free yourself from that mask you're wearing. I'll solve one mystery for you and the others commenting on the spelling errors in my stories. I'm using a faulty pc that skips around or changes words even after I've written them; I don't have much money and the prospect of using patreon to get financing for a new computer seems out of the question considering the type of stories in my library. I live as normal a life as humanly possible; get off my back.

BTW, take your self righteous attitude and shove it, asshole.

Mondotoken 2017

im just hoping for another few chapters

When are you going to finish ?

almost a year time to finish it

You can't keep taking criticism so personally, buddy. If you don't learn to separate yourself from your work, you'll never be able to handle criticism like a mature writer; which means you'll never become a mature writer.

Start now. Kill the boy, let the man be born.

Why the fuck does someone complain about spelling and shit that is so terrible when they are 14 chapters into the story if it was a big deal no way you make it that far.

Anyways loved the story.