All Comments on 'The Day He Came'

You have some nice descriptions. The story suffers in that you don't explain enough. She's never met Rich and their first meeting is him driving her hours away whilst naked. Next, another guy shows up. She knows Scott, or knows of him? How? And how did he become involved? Then, what the what, Leon, a guy from her past appears? ???

You've manipulated an awful lot to create a fantasy 3-way penitration for her. It's too bad it's more puzzling than erotic. A few lines of her thoughts or master's dialogue could have explained things. You spend more effort on a bunch of lovey eyes between them. Again, based on what? Until you added that, it felt creepy and manupulative. Just a bunch of guys setting a woman up to do whatever they want to her with no witnesses around. Maybe I'm watching too much Foresic Files.

Nice story and also intriguing. Some more background info on the characters and associations would be nice but the story is hot and steamy to read. Hope you write and publish more.