All Comments on 'The Demise of Snow White Ch. 1'

It could use more adjectives (colours, sounds, descriptors... so on), and don't write it in the third person. For example: "I begged him to allow me to cum" sounds better than "begging him to allow her to cum." Also you are playing the pronoun game a little too much, it might help to replace 'him' and 'her' more often with 'the Prince', or 'Snow White'. Last thing, Snow White isn't virginal if she's fucked one man. A virgin is someone who has never had sex. That said, I like the story!