All Comments on 'The Doctor Ch. 02'

Everyone on the planet has an I-phone. One recording of his actions and they retire in luxury as he loses his license to practice and spends the next 15 - 20 years in prison. This was poorly thought out drivel. No stars as even giving this mess one star would be an insult to the star.

.....shall we?

1. Spelling....you misspell far too often. It might help your cause to put some effort into editing/proofreading your work before submitting. This is first rough draft quality. No signs of housekeeping. If you're not up to the task, seek editorial help in other parts of this forum.

2. Grammar....your grammar looks to be mid to late high school level. If you want to express yourself and be well received, then put in the work to express yourself well. Take an English and grammar class and take a writing class at your local CC, JC, college or university...it will pay great dividends in life, as well as here.

Now to the story: I don't think the expression even closely approximated your vision.

I'm going to have to stop reading your stuff until you figure out how to express yourself so you don't come off like you're telling a dirty story to some friends in the school lunch line. You need main characters that are relatable enough that we can empathize with them, their situation, their life view, etc. The tone of this work is very much newscaster-y or detective-y..."just the facts, m'am". This does not make for campfire-class story-telling.....more locker room quality stuff....so, not very interesting.

Because of all this technical and "people" concern, I have to suspend hope and quit reading until there is some evidence you're willing to do more than bang out slop and drivel like these first two chapters.

1*, but watching and waiting at a distance....hoping you improve....or drop out.

Part 3 please.