All Comments on 'The Hike'

confussed how is she fingering her asshole if her arms are up in a 'Y'?....

Also she says that he's scaring her and then she kicks him....he says he like a fighter and that she's a brat...its almost noncon...if this is their normal play perhaps you should have said that earlier...

I liked it

Oh I see what you are talking about - the fingering of her asshole- that was an aside to the reader. Not sure how to make that clearer, but I'll work on it. Thanks for the comment!

You have several squicky hard and/or rather firm limits of mine in each of your stories, yet I can wince then go on and enjoy the rest. I have enjoyed each story more than the last.

I was also confused about the ass fingering paragraph. It does need a clarification that it is happening in his thoughts. If I understood your explanation, it is his mental vision during the physical interaction. Those glimpses of characters' thoughts and visualizations add much to a story. Just be clear that's what it is.

Hope you have more on the way.

Horny and hornier! That's the feeling I get after reading this story. I especially like the buildup from the moment the character enters the apartment till the hike on the trail. Because you let your readers smell, see, touch with you, it makes all the difference in the world between an ok story and a great one.

To explain further, this particular story was written for someone and the fingering part was me breaking out of the story and talking to her directly. She recognized it immediately when she read it, so it worked in that respect. And I can see how it's confusing, but I'm not sure just how to make it clear. Maybe something like just starting the paragraph with "Reader, you, out there, I know you're doing this. Keep doing it while you read." or something like that?

Thanks all for the comments. They're greatly appreciated!