All Comments on 'The Holiday Pt. 01'

Really liked this long short story. You wove the sex into the fabric of the story at just the right places. Can’t wait for the next part. They need to be an extended family

Wow. Great story. Constructive criticism? Could use some editing. Some of the dialogue was difficult to follow as the quotation marks weren't used consistently. Also, went from first person to third for a short while. And the characters are American and use several British slang words. However, these are VERY minor quibbles. I VERY much look forward to part 2! Great job on a first submission. Easily 5 stars.

Minor points but if these people are based in the US, they would speak as Americans and not use words like bits, bloody, holiday or going to university. Also some spelling errors but again minor details. This is well thought out and written.

As the story stands it's disturbing. You state that the like the girls are over 18 but you describe them and have the MC view them as if they are much younger. You also make the male MC prioritize getting into their vaginas over survival which in turn makes him look like a sexual predator. Disturbing. Statutory rape in all but name. I read it all now and yes, I am the author of the "deleted" comment. I liked the story; both parts. However, you wrote in a few things that made this story impossible to enjoy, which IMO, were unnecessary.

Nevertheless, I look forward to your next work.

Need some minor fixes like names that change.

To comment, I am not US but they do go to university for bachelor degrees and higher stuff like veterinary doctors. College from what I have gleaned is just prep work for uni study, or general diplomas so they can stack shelves at the supermarket. LOL. Still trying to work that stuff out. Like the weird system at Oxford uni.

Back to the story, can't wait to read the next chapter nicely waiting for me.

Possibly the best story I have read on Literotica in 20 years

Fantastic story, rates 5/5

Great storyline, I was hoping in a moment of madness the girl asked him to cum in their cunts but it wasn’t to be. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Awesome!

Loved the story, but it seemed an awful lot to happen in just a two week period. Would have been better in a two or three month period. IMO