All Comments on 'The Home Game Ch. 01'

Worst story this week...

1* so while they treat her HIV she enjoys AA and the stand by the side cuck pizzes blood due to the drug resistant STDs

Actually, the comment of a ten year old.

yeah.

Why did you bother ??

slow it down and maybe a rewrite is in order.

Reading the introduction, I understood this would be a third rate comedy: "This is not a real story, just an example of art imitating real life."...Made me laugh for a long time...I thought this phrase would destroy the story, because in no way it could be better than this...And I was right! "Chapter 2 coming shortly", I hope it means he called the police and the party has ended in a police station...Or has this taken place in a third world country? 1*

Why would I stay tuned? Rape and sexual assault isn’t erotic.

You earned it.

Fuck you....

And gay husband (invisible) just stayed there as a turd?

You have mental illness.

In any case, I can't believe that you manage to put that story together, considering

your IQ (or lack of it)?

-1

This was about rape!!! Fucktard.

if she did it that easy she had to have done it many times before

this makes her a serial cheat and after that a common gutter skank

she could easily be picking an old STD from players like these guys

like I said sickness?

humiliation?

endless cheater excuses?

accusation that he wanted it?

knowledge that if they ever go to another the guys will be after her?

the idea that Heather's younger, sexier, big bust sister has been hitting on him and now there is no reason not to go for her!

I say dump her crap next to the fire and leave her there, hell she wont notice for hours or days

and you don't need another chapter...her husband is already packing their campsite up and leaving her for good so nobody cares what happens.. but you need to change categories unless you plan to have some of the other wives show up and beat her ass down. That might save you at least one star

No one expects Hemingway but...

"Heather didn't waste any time, she bent at her waste"

really!! how does someone bend at the "waste"?

It was a drunk woman unable to form consent and a husband who allowed her to be raped.

divorce send out videos and pics to everyone and sue sue sue

Where was that stupid cunt of a husband, although you didn't write what happened in the trailer it was obvious she was going to get fucked well and truly. You said in your preamble of no cuckoldry or rape how could you make such a claim just be cause you didn't write it only intimated.

I know this is fantasy fiction, but you have to leave readers with enough room to suspend their disbelief and go along for the ride. You went a little too far, IMHO. The husband was clearly close enough to the action to hear every word that was said, so the fact that he didn’t rush to her side and pry her away from those animals is a hard pill to swallow.

Maybe if he had passed out after 8-10 Jack and Cokes (which would be reasonable!), then it might be believable. Although even then, a 43-year-old woman drinking as much as she did and stripping in front of a crowd of strangers seems far-fetched. (That, and because you chose to write this in the first-person perspective, you can’t describe the action from the perspective of the passed-out husband.)

If you had let the wife get a little tipsy instead of black-out drunk, and if you had established some reason for her behavior and her husband’s inability/unwillingness to intervene, then you’d have a plausible story with plenty of potential. As it stands, gangbanging a drunken woman cannot be tolerated in the “me too” era.

This be some wacko shit.

Or you will flood LW with a lot of shit.

Stupidest husband there is

that would be YOU!!! You dead ex wife fucked over 100 men while married to your sorry ass. Then she told you as she was dying all about it leaving you a sad old ugly fat fag!

I simply dislike stories in which the characters are dumber than rocks. A bottle and a half of wine leaves women comatose. That much Jack would probably have him more than a little wobbly. The story went downhill from there. No need to continue this unbelievable drivel.

1 star

Calm down Anonymous.

Relax. It's only a story.

..... signed The Grand Cyclops

but what are you, like 20 yrs old? Actually this sounds like a college age kid's fantasies, immature and unrealistic. Woman just drop their drawers and fuck when intoxicated and with a big dicked black man! Wow.

Pure bull shit. No married man lets his wife go by herself to a drinking game. Oh and once the clothes came in go get the rifle and shoot the mf.

Great story, you hit all of the the marks. I want more and for sure BBC xoxoxoxoxo Annette

Both husband and wife would have been in ER for alcohol poisoning.

Agree with others plot and characters are too stupid. They would not survive for 20 years after college with that level of alcohol consumption.

Unbelievable when the husband in his forties or fifties says yeah my wife is drunk so she will be ok to go off to a drinking game with two previously unknown college guys.

Don't really understand the comments, I enjoyed the story. Maybe they didn't drink at the Community College that Greyhead went to but I definitely recognize this from my youth...at least the drinking.

...."We were both very happy in our marriage and I knew Heather would never do anything that would challenge that." Ha ha ha, are you that idiotic?

Leave it to Lit's biggest slut to praise crap like this. Rape of a drunken who're by a bunch of black guys. Whoopeeee, AB loves it!

Come on Annette. Do you really enjoy being gangbanged when you are blackout drunk? Would you like to see your daughter treated like this?

All the months of dreary BBCs, gangbangs and cucks will be a bad memory when the legends come out to play. Too bad BR can't do one a month. Oh well, I'll take what I can get. I'm staying up to read at least one.

1*

So gangbanging a drunken woman can't be tolerated in the me too era. Just when could it be tolerated? The real problem with this story, of course, is the appalling attitude towards women which it demonstrates. If you really believe this behaviour is acceptable in grownups we need to abandon all hope.

Husband stood there and did NOTHING❓❓❓❓❓what crap👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

What kind of a man let's his drunk wife go off with two college guys to play beer pong when you already know she's drunk? And then you stand back and do nothing while this group of college kids rapes your wife? You are supposed to be 6'4" and you did nothing. I could have stopped it with one word COPS. Yes, this is the day of the cell phone. And having a guy that plays on the team wouldn't want any cops coming around with a husband screaming they are raping my wife. True or not it's not what matters. You are a coward for not standing by your wife and keeping her out of trouble. Yes, she's an adult, but you knew she was drunk before she left. I hope you get raped too.

I find the story fine and would like to read part II. I also find it funny that people are talking about the injustice as if they weren't on a erotic/fantasy story site.

If you don't like the story line don't continue reading. You people are pathetic........

This story is too close to rape (and may cross the line) for my taste.

PART 2 PLS ignore these haters

Only pity for whatever it was that wrote this story. Only disgust for anything, not anybody, who thought.It erotic.

I am waiting for the next chapter

Why is it that stories which depend on alcohol for seduction end up with lethal quantities? It sounds like this tale will also include wedding-tackle in the vaginal-terminus damage* range. The vagina has some built-in looseness, (and birth hormones add more,) but 8 inches will push painfully into most women’s terminus… and probably not fun for the ‘lucky’ guy either.

However, Sweetie chose to leave Hubby to play a drinking-game. Apparently as the only female … or the one who didn’t stop. What is left of her good sense passes on opportunities to maintain a minimum of her clothing choice. Then she accepts unsportsmanlike interference that would allow her to quit partially clothed and makes a gratuitous statement of her sexual limits. Rape? Probably about 50-50 of most juries! Should Hubby have interceded? Again, about 50-50 … she is an adult, alcohol was integral in why she left Hubby. LDS would, next-day, warn her she has 2 strikes, one left! Then give her two acetaminophen for the hangover and sore pussy!

P.S. get an editor ASAP, we are free!

*no, no penis will go through the cervix into any woman’s uterus. 1) the cervix is not at the end of the vagina, it is on the roof of that tube, close to the vaginal-terminus. 2) the cervix is usually too narrow… with a tough mucus plug. 3) penises are not equipped to go around 90 degree curves … it is not a plumber’s snake.

Interesting use of a home game inspired grope and screw session but there are too many grammatical problems to be coming from a college graduate. Then again, I can think of a few that come closer to being Playboy U instead of a school of any type of learning.