The Humper Game Pt. 02 Ch. 12

Barbara visibly dithered for a moment, but said, "Enough other people know. If you want to be in on something you'll need to keep mum about, I'll accept that. And I think it is likely a good idea, since it sounds like you're still going to be kind of Phil's partners, for a while anyway, and I have some things I want to ask him to do, if it's OK with him."

I finished the last things I had to eat, then stood up and grabbed a tray back from where we had stacked them. I suddenly realized that Jenny was still eating, and sat down again. "I'm sorry, I was thoughtless, I only considered myself. We need to wait for Jenny."

She had taken less than I had, but she wasn't cramming it in the way I had. She finished a bite, and then said, "You can take your stuff and the rest of mine and whatever else back while I finish." She went back to eating. I thought this was a sign of my feeling flustered. Normally I would have done that without thinking. I was a little concerned about this talk. I had questions, yes, but the more I had thought about them, the more they had come to feel like simple nosiness. And I wondered what Barbara wanted from me, and how Nancy came into it. If they had both been lesbians, that would have made sense, maybe—but it had seemed really clear, if anything in life is ever clear, that Nancy was no lesbian.

I took back a loaded tray of dishes and came back. Jenny had finished, and other people told me to just leave her stuff. Which was only fair, since I'd taken a lot that wasn't Sam's or Jenny's or mine. It tended to work this way, and if I hadn't needed to wait for Jenny before leaving, I thought everyone would have told us to leave everything for them to deal with. The girls, all four, got up, and we started off.

"Two things first," I said. "I need to stop by the lavatory, and where are we going to talk? Jenny and I have been staying in Sam's room, and it's crowded by a hammock, but at least some of us can sit on that if we go there."

"Would you mind if we went to my room?" Barbara asked. "I'm already feeling like I'm dumping a lot on you three. There are enough places to sit." Well, it wouldn't be any more crowded than five of us studying in Jenny's room, I thought.

So we told the monitor her room number for me, then all went to the girls' lavatory, and then on to her room. Three of us sat on the bed, and two on chairs by the desk. I was one in a chair. I really wanted to be able to see everybody without having to lean around someone else, and the three sitting on the bed might have had trouble. But in the end, Nancy sat in the middle, back against the wall, while two others sat at the edge of the bed, but cross-legged up on top, so they could sit turned a little and all see each other.

I said to Jenny and Sam, as seriously as I could, "OK, you're here, and I think you should be, otherwise you wouldn't be here. But I really mean it, not one word of what we talk about goes beyond those present, without their permission. Not mine, theirs. I trust you on this. Please don't let me down.

"Barbara, is it OK if I just tell them what we said yesterday? I don't really know what you've said to Nancy, but then they'll all know everything I know, and we can go on from there." She agreed. I summarized as best I could, with Barbara adding a few words from time to time.

When I was done, Barbara said, "You said you wanted to talk, I think you have questions. We may as well start there."

"As I've thought about it, I'm kind of ashamed. I feel like what I want to ask is just nosiness, my own curiosity. So really, any time you like, feel free to say anything at all isn't any of my business, OK? I'd rather think of it as a deep desire to understand, so that I can treat you better and be a friend to you, but I'm not sure that's honest.

"Partly, I'm interested in how it happened, I mean something like when you realized and what it felt like, and feels like now. And I guess, how you've managed, in general and this week in particular. And you said some of the girls know, and I happened to find out who three of them are, but how did that come about?"

She looked at me for a moment. "I see why you feel you're prying, but don't. Those are all fair questions, once I told you what I did. Let's see. As far as realizing. Hmm. I need to start back further, I think. Most little girls, it seems, at some points idolize some women or older girls, maybe ones they know personally, like teachers or aunts or neighbors, or movie actresses or what have you. They see them as beautiful, and get kind of a crush on them. I'm sure everyone but you in this room knows firsthand about this." No one demurred, and there were nods. "I'd say for most, what this does is to give them an idea of what they want to be like as grown women, and it's important for that. The right teacher, say, can motivate a girl to a lifelong love of books, or of some subject. This shapes their characters for later life.

"At some point, though, starting a little before the obvious bodily changes of puberty, they start to find boys fascinating, hopefully boys their own age. They form crushes on them and generally act pretty silly about them. Initially, it often takes the form of pretending to dislike whichever boy they like, trying to draw his attention. Their friends may be boys or girls, but they tend to share about this stuff with girls, not boys—if they share about it at all. Not always, but usually.

"For me, somehow, that part didn't work normally. I started to find girls, my own age and a little older, fascinating in kind of the same way. I didn't do the kind of flirting with them that they were doing with boys, because they were all fixated on boys, so I just didn't tell anyone. I found boys kind of silly, as they did their own posturing to impress the girls—including me, of course.

"Well, things have been changing, but even so, getting accused of being a lesbian and teased because a girl doesn't run after boys still happens, and I didn't want it to happen to me. I didn't have anyone I felt I could trust enough to talk to, period. But you understand, I had the same kind of romantic daydreams most girls do. It was just girls I imagined wanting to kiss me, and I kept it entirely to myself."

"Ouch!" I said. "So you felt really isolated? Lonely?"

"Well, in a way. I did have good friends, mostly girls. There were some boys, too, but as time went on they tended to want romantic interest, and I just didn't play that game. There was one boy I had known forever, when we were little we did everything together, and all along I could talk to him about anything—except this. And he was open with me, too. I think he wished I would show romantic interest in him, but I didn't, and he was still my friend. I had to babysit him through some ups and downs over other girls, from time to time. If he guessed what was—see, I start to say 'what was wrong,' I mean what was up with me, he had the kindness to keep it to himself.

"But yes, I felt that there was this really important thing about myself I couldn't tell anyone, and so I sometimes felt very lonely and bitterly unhappy about it. And thank you for understanding.

"Anyway, when I got here, I made friends. All girls, really, at least for close ones. Maybe I just didn't trust boys, not too deeply, by then. Nancy has been the closest and most loyal, from early on. And the last couple of years, well, there were times when for all of us, um, well we get horny in a general way. Sexually aroused, not so much with any specific person in mind as just generally. This happens to boys, too, doesn't it?

"This was especially hard on me, of course, since I was surrounded more closely by girls I found attractive that way, running around half-dressed or undressed, not to mention in the showers, just because it was OK since there weren't any boys to see them. But anyway, at some point I let slip to Nancy, and one or two others, the awful truth about me. I think the others were a little shocked, but they were all too good as friends to let it be an issue—since I didn't go after them that way, at least. But at one point, this past summer, Nancy said to me, well, I'm so keyed up I can't stand it. And I know some girls touch themselves, but that's not what I want. And you would like to kiss me and stuff, you're too considerate to ask it, but you would, wouldn't you? I'm to the point where it can't be worse than where I am now. So anyway, we made out some, and I wound up coming. That was out of the blue, and I managed to stifle most of the noise but not all of it.

"We had both enjoyed the kissing and touching." Nancy nodded. "But—well, this left me satisfied, sort of, but Nancy was keyed up more than ever. Well, I knew, not even the theory, but the idea of oral sex, that lesbians did that. I told her I didn't know what I was doing, but she let me try, and she came too.

"OK, Nancy really is straight. All her own imagination, her daydreams, had been boys. This didn't change her in that, but she did find she liked kissing and even fondling me. And when she was really hot, I could give her pleasure and release. So we've been lovers, with the benefit being mostly mine. This game in gym, and now this week, all has been pretty good for her, but you can imagine how dismal for me. I mean, my instructor and my partner tried—some—to treat me right and turn me on, but they kind of assumed that it would happen. Yes, when they ate my pussy, it helped, it stimulated me a little and provided some lubrication for them, too. But I never was anywhere near coming from it, and a cock in my pussy was about as uncomfortable and sometimes painful as one up my ass. Having someone spray all over me didn't do a thing for me, just left me a mess, and swallowing it wasn't much better, but both were better for me than getting screwed.

"I think that's a pretty complete answer to your questions, isn't it? Except one thing. Yesterday. In desperation I told you why I just wanted to suck you and leave it at that. And you were understanding, and kind and considerate. You wanted to eat me for my benefit, though I'm sure you liked it too. You asked me about kissing. I've learned that you do really kiss first, even in gym, if the girl will, and you ask first most of the time—that wasn't just for me. Neither my instructor nor my partner had any interest in kissing, or in my feelings. You did, for a one-time quick screw. An assignment. Now, with Nancy, I've experienced some really good orgasms, and I know what I had yesterday was pretty blah, but you cared enough to really try, and all your caring, my realization that you cared, made it possible at all.

"So I'm willing to tell you all this, not just because I kind of owe it to you for yesterday, but because I know you really do want to understand. And thank you."

I thought about this for a while. I thought I understood it pretty well. While I was thinking, Barbara thought of something else to add.

"One more thing, I should have said this. You asked me about how kissing a boy felt to me. And what I said, that it might have seemed disgusting before, but that after getting screwed so much it didn't seem likely to be worse than boring, well, that was true. But I kissed you partly as cover, for the show we were supposed to be putting on, and also helping cover up my real feelings. But when we did it, it felt just about like kissing a girl, like kissing Nancy. I was turned off by the situation, but kissing you was pretty nice in spite of that. And I guess I should also add that once I had come, there didn't seem to be any reason not to screw. It felt good. Not pushing me toward coming again, though I kind of wish it had, but pretty pleasant in a general sort of way. I started it because I knew it wouldn't hurt—since I was now wet and relaxed inside—and to say thank you, so that you got something too, but I'm really, really glad I did it. Maybe the next time I get caught in gym, if I can remember that, it won't be quite so bad."

I said, "Thank you. It really helps me understand. I'm glad yesterday wasn't a complete bust for you in the end. It wasn't outstanding for me, either, but I enjoyed it a lot, and I do thank you. It really meant a lot, and it means even more now that you've told me all that.

"And that kind of takes most of my other questions away. I had been wondering why Nancy was here, maybe just for moral support, or what? But unless she has something to add, I think that question is answered. I did have another question for her, but it can wait for another occasion if need be. I'm really glad you found such a good friend.

"But I think you said you had something you wanted to say, or ask, anyway, something for me. Did that all get covered?

"Wait, one other thing! You said you'd told a couple of other girls. Were those Ellen and Ellen and Deedee? Or how did they know? They were really concerned that I might have treated you badly, unknowingly—they know I wouldn't do that deliberately. Or I guess that I might say something about it, one or the other."

Barbara smiled. "No, they weren't the ones I told. Deedee's room is right there, the other side of that wall, and they heard Nancy and me, and asked me. I wasn't close to them, and I guess I'm still not really, but they're all really wonderful people—as I'm sure you know better than I do. I explained the situation, and they promised not to spread it around. I'm glad you had a talk with them, and I guess maybe I should tell them later what we've been saying. Or tell Deedee and ask her to pass it on just to the others.

"Anyway, I had two things to say, and one of them mostly got covered. I really owe you a lot for yesterday. I don't think you can really understand how much it took an awful week and capped it with something really nice. And I mean that when I say I owe you. And I'm going to ask you for something else, and if you do it I'll owe you even more, and what can I ever do to pay it all back?

"Would you be willing, maybe every couple of weeks or every month or something, to do that again? I mean. Um. I don't mean to screw me, you've shown me that's not what you're doing even when you describe it that way. To make love to me. I don't mean that you'll ever have the effect on me that you do on these two—or that you did on Nancy. But I think I need practice, for all the reasons we were supposed to practice this week. If I could find another boy or two who would approach it the way you did yesterday, that would be good too. But I think occasional time with you might help me feel less like any man who ever asks me for a date is just selfishly out for whatever he can get, for example. And I may have to screw someone in the long run, for practical reasons, or just because he's been really nice to me or something, and I'd rather have some good memories to help me when and if."

I said, "I would love to. And at this point I find I'm saying that an awful lot, and then having to say that I'm saying it so much that finding time may be an issue. I hope Jenny and Sam have really resigned themselves to this, because it keeps happening. Honest, it's not that I'm looking for more bed partners, they come to me! And unless Jenny and Sam find guys they like better, I really do feel I should give them my first and best.

"As for other guys, I'll offer one suggestion. I can tell you Ellen Chan's partner for the week, Brian Jennings, has the right attitude and is interested in practicing to get better, I mean at listening and caring as part of making love. And he feels he owes me, too. If you talk to him, and I would recommend including Ellen, tell him I said this would be a favor to me, too. Maybe even talk to Ellen first. Anyway, think about him. You'd have to bring him in on your secret life, of course, but I'm sure he won't talk if you ask him not to.

"But I'm going to have to make a little list. I'm just going to forget people if I don't. Girls, I mean. I am not speaking figuratively, either. An honest to goodness list."

Nancy spoke up. "Well, I'm in on this mostly as Barbara's friend and moral support, and because I came into what she needed to tell about. We thought, after yesterday, if she just said she had a friend who was straight but willing to make love to her anyway, it would be pretty obvious.

"But I had something, too, of my own. I said it yesterday, but I want to reinforce it. Please, really, put me on your list, too, OK? As often as you can! Unlike Barbara, I enjoyed the game in gym, mostly, sometimes a lot. And part of why I was so ready yesterday was watching you with Barbara, a whole lot of mixed up gratitude and I don't know what else—but that was still the best sex I've ever had, and I hope for more like it."

"OK, OK. I liked it too. But it probably won't be often. And too likely not as good, either."

There was a moment's silence, and then Jenny spoke up. "Nancy, why don't you and Phil have a turn now? I'd offer it to Barbara, first, I think, but it sounds like she's not interested that soon. And probably never interested the same way. But at any rate," she went on, looking at Sam, "if it, um, cuts into his ability later, well, I had a turn before supper, as everyone here is aware."

Barbara said, "I might take you up on that, even though you didn't quite offer it to me. I don't know, I can't think how to explain it. It's not that Phil exactly attracts me, um, that way. Phil, it's the care you showed me as a friend. At this point, that's what I crave, not the, not another cock in my vagina. But somehow, um, if, um—. The final act yesterday afternoon was nice, but not exciting. Not for me or for you, right? I can't help wondering whether we can't make it better, the whole thing. It was all for you at the end, pleasant enough for me but—I don't know what I mean, but I want to try it again."

"What would you want me to do?"

"I think, pretty much anything you want, from what I've seen of you. What we did yesterday, if we can do it better.

"And while we're at it, how did you convince Jenny to do that, earlier? My first thought was almost to call it all off, talking to you like this I mean, thinking you were somehow making her do it. But she so obviously enjoyed it, I realized I was wrong. But I saw her, when you and Sam did that yesterday, and she looked mortified just being there, when she wasn't even the one doing it."

"You really were wrong," Jenny said. "I asked him to do it. I wanted to. I should have asked before. You know, this is Phil. I could say he made me do it in the shower last night, I don't think you were there. But if I had really said, Phil, please, no, I can't bear to do that, he would have said OK. He reminded me of our instructions, and told me it would be good for me, I needed to get past this hangup. That's not how he put it, but I was hung up. And yes, the shower had a lot fewer people in it, and I started off nervous, but it was fun. With Phil, not with some other boy I didn't actually know and didn't care about. So tonight, before supper, I thought, I really do trust him. And I asked him to please do it that way with me.

"And doing it that way somehow really, really got me going. That was the best ever, for me, and almost every time with Phil has been really good. I'm so happy I did it!"

Barbara said, "Well, having boys screw me started out way out of my comfort zone. After a few weeks, it had mostly gone to being boring, nothing for me. Like, oh no, here it comes again. Then, this past week, there was just too much of it. My instructor's cock, my partner's cock, poking me everywhere, over and over. But, again, Phil, you were willing not to make that kind of demand. You tried, really tried, to make it good for me. Kissing you was, well, not what I would have dreamed about, but you let me take it my way, in my own time. Even to offering to do it, not asking to do it. You took as much time as you needed, on my pussy, and if it wasn't the best orgasm ever, even for me, it was my first orgasm with a man, because you cared about me and kept trying. So I took you inside and screwed you, well, partly it was gratitude, but after I'd come, just having you there was comfortable enough, and comforting. And I really would like to see if it couldn't be a little more."