The Humper Game Pt. 05 Ch. 09

"At least, Jenny and I were talking again, and at that point we had agreed to run and study together but nothing beyond that. Sam had decided that unless Jenny came back to full partnership—and maybe if she did—she, Sam, wanted Ellen to be in that position. I know the two of them had talked about it, but I wasn't consulted.

"After two or three more days, Jenny was a wreck because of too little sleep. When she tried to talk to the guy about it, he told her in so many words to shut up about it or get out. Anyway, I wound up with all three of them as partners. We agreed on early bedtimes and limiting sex if that's what it took to get enough sleep, and to limiting my, um, outside activities so that they all got more of what was left.

"Anyway, that was the situation until almost the end of the school year. We need to tell you one more thing, but it's mostly about other issues, and I think it's got to wait, for the sake of time."

One thing I liked a lot about Pastor Mac was that he listened. He occasionally made very brief notes as we talked, but mostly he waited until we were done talking—unless he needed to interrupt with questions, which was rare. After we were done, he would apparently think for a minute or more about what we had said, then make whatever notes he needed, before going on. When we were talking, we had about as much of his attention as a person can give, it seemed. He did that now, taking two or three minutes to make notes.

Then he asked, "How is it that you and Sam were assigned as partners in the first place?"

Ellen and I looked at each other. I said, "Some of it is pretty clear, some we just don't know."

I looked at my watch. "The details matter, but there's a lot to it. And you wanted me to try to keep it simple, right?

"One part of it is that Sam—Samantha, or Bruja, at that point—anyway, she found herself forced to realize that she'd kind of fallen in love with me. Just from my sterling character, I think. She found herself imagining me making love to her. And she'd put three whole years into trying to hurt me, so this left her in turmoil."

Ellen said, "He's being facetious about his character. For three years she'd seen him be patient and polite in the face of her malice and mocking, and he was that way to everyone. If I wanted to tell someone what 'turn the other cheek' really meant, I'd describe Phil."

I waited a moment in case she wasn't done. "OK, I guess. Anyway, the rapes occurred the next night. I guess being raped herself, on top of the turmoil she was already in, well, opened her eyes. The world turned upside down on her for the second time in two days. There was real, deep-seated repentance, and she was trying to learn all over how to relate to other people.

"I told you. After the trial, when she came to me to ask for forgiveness, and when we talked, I couldn't be even ordinarily intimate with her. I couldn't so much as offer her a hug to comfort her, at first. But by that time we'd been asked to put in requests for partners, knowing many requests could not be honored, and she'd asked for me. When we discussed my difficulties, she didn't mention this. She figured it wouldn't matter, because she thought lots of others would also ask for me. I assume she was right."

Ellen said, "She was. I certainly did, and I know a lot of others did, too. I heard directly from several."

I went on, "Beyond that, I don't know the factors they used in assigning partners, but a surprising number of couples were as well suited as Sam and I were once we got past that initial problem. I assume her request and our public, um, her apology and my expression of forgiveness contributed, and her request, but beyond that I don't know. For what it's worth, my own request was for someone at least reasonably good-looking and in particular not fat, and Sam is all of that and then some. A lot."

Pastor Mac looked at us—me, in this case, I thought—for another minute or so, made a couple of very quick notes, and seemed to be done.

I said, "We brought these to show you. I think they're relevant and may help you." I handed him the Ellen's copy of Sam's first drawing, in its frame.

He looked at it for a few moments, and then said, "At this point I'd be stupid if I asked you who the girl was, I think. It's Jenny, isn't it?"

"That's right. Sam did that the night Jenny had dumped me, when she should have been sleeping. She had brought Jenny to me and we had resolved the issue of how she had done it, mostly, but it was still totally unclear how the romance would go. So while this literally depicts that first day in the game, when I caught her, I think at least half of our class would recognize it immediately as being about that time. Would I catch her that time around, or not? And in the long run, the answer is no. But it was Sam's attempt to show my feelings at that moment, and I didn't have an answer then.

"Sam slipped that into my suitcase the day she flew off to where she is now and I moved in here. I completely fell to pieces, and I was so afraid I would drip tears on it and make the ink run! I had to go downstairs and find Ellen to handle it and take a picture of it to send Jenny and some others. Oh, I was talking to Jenny as I unpacked, when I found it. We had good copies made for a number of people, and this one is Ellen's."

I took the other drawing and gave it to him. "In many ways Sam is now one of the strongest people I know, but she's still hesitating on the brink of decisions. I'm sorry to say that reluctance to completely push me out of any romantic possibility with her is probably part of the reason. I suggested that she try sketching out how she felt, not the situation but how it made her feel. She said something like, 'I didn't tell you that I sat up half the night doing that when I did that first drawing!' But this is a copy of what she came up with in the end. That's Sam on the horse. When you meet her, you'll recognize her."

He looked at it for a while, and then said, "I'm sure I'm missing a lot. I hope I get a chance to talk with her for a while, at your wedding if not before. If she visits you, and if there's time, I'd appreciate your remembering that. But if this truly expresses her feelings, it seems she is determined to make the decision, merely unsure that she can really follow through."

Ellen said, "I think she will be coming here to talk to someone, over the break, and I'll tell her. I've got a little list, already."

"In both drawings, her artistry is stunning. I certainly can see why you were so affected by the first one, Phil, especially coming on it by surprise. I admit that the second one moves me more, but I think that says more about me than about the drawing. It certainly has more dramatic tension, though."

It was getting to be late, in terms of our getting to our classes on time, so we kind of hurried the goodbyes that time.

Revision: 7/5/2019