All Comments on 'The Hunters and the Hunted Ch. 01'

sortie

ocupado, si?

obsequiousness

Are words that people will have to stop and go, "What?"

I know it's fun sometimes to use big words to show what a brainiac we all are, but when writing for the public sometimes we need to dial it back just a tad.

Not that "sortie" is a big word, but some won't get it. Throwing in another language will also sometimes make a reader stumble.

Perhaps at the end of the chapter a bit of an explanation?

Continued use of "Charms" and "pheromones and lupine charm" was very repetitive.

Great beginning though; would love to see the rest of the chapters.

Good lord please do not dial it down for the dumber audience! I absolutely detest reading literature for the 4th grader. Using slang, using foreign words and phrases, and using big words are how we as readers and we as writers grow ourselves.

Eidetic, memorize this: Those who refuse to grow will perish, while those who stretch and reach out to the further branch become strong.

Bahahahah! I've been fighting nail and fingertip for the story-formulating prodigy with the atrocious grammar and the dude who just can't figure out that spelling corrector program. Never in all of indiscriminate hell would I have thought we'd see the day enriched writing would be asked to explain itself! I'm gonna phone my mother - she'll love this one.

Shot for story! I think you just got into the history-books.

Keep it up and don't be afraid to use words with more than one or two syllables. I went to school before they dumbed it down. If I have to go grab a dictionary and look a word up, Bravo for you.

I like how you explain things with out stopping to explain them. OK, on to the next Chapter.