by AlinaX
JonathanBair here... Wouldn't let me log in..
Love the story, You really seam to have a joy for this.. As to your question AlinaX " Between being the Invisible Girl and being Supergirl, which would you choose?" With out a doubt or faction of a millisecond to think about it, I would have to say Invisible girl.... Hands down billions times lead.
Hmm, what about a whole office full of invisible people having an orgy, every so often the lift doors opening and the new arrivals getting weirded out by all the sounds of sex in an apparently empty office.
Decisions, decisions! I think Invisible. Turning the whole office into an orgy almost, but not quite happening would be wonderful. Then, just pick your partener and maybe get Fiona and Barbara in on the deal.
Between being the Invisible Girl and being Supergirl, which would you choose?
I thought the invisible boots were a great idea. She has to walk around naked, but with boots on. Even if I can't see her, my imagination thinks it's sexy. Plus, invisible and horny! What a great combination. Another really good idea for a story.
Suddenly that's all I can think about...
Thanks for commenting - hope you find enjoyment in my other works. :-)
Very good story. It was extremely well written and the fantasy aspect was fun. I could really picture the old guy's erect member disappearing into the invisible girl. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.
I'm sure I will. :-) Ali has had plenty of other adventures, though, if you can't wait.
No, I think you're right. I can be a little too abrupt in my endings.
But thanks!
Very creative and well-written. I agree with the prior comment, that the ending seemed abrupt. It would have been nice to get a little build-up before everyone finished. But, that is merely my preference.
That's fair criticism, but it's more that the invisibility story was problematic for me (very stalker-ish in the drafts) and difficult to write - the 2nd & 3rd parts were substantially rewritten. I like the way it ended up, but... if the story continues, it will be without invisibility.
Really enjoyed the story, wonderful writing and I agree with the author's comments about keeping reactions mostly realistic.
The only criticism I would have is that the ending came quickly and abruptly. It almost felt as if she tired of the story and decided to just wrap it up. But I would definitely welcome another in this series!
I think it's easier to suspend disbelief if the characters react appropriately.
But thanks for reading & commenting! :-)
I'm not one for si-fi but I found this story very interesting.