All Comments on 'The Lake House'

That is a well-written story, but the best part was at the very last, when Angie said, "Yeah,Geoff and I are putting our problems to bed." I liked that esp. after what you wrote already.

I have no idea where the "lil" came from when the correct word is "little". This is not a comic book or the deep south, nor is the story written in the appropriate vernacular for the use of "lil". However, aside from the grammatical issues, not a bad tale.

You write about numerous sins, but draw the line at typing God? Really?

Not a bad story, but why does every 18 year old girl in these stories have to have D-cups?

hehe hehe hehe ok story hehe hehe heheheheheheheh.........................

I could have sworn I've read this story before.

hehe hehe hehe ok story hehe hehe heheheheheheheh.........................

Your inability to sort out the difference between narration in the present tense and the past tense, mixing them in the same sentence is very irritating; either you really don't know how to write, or you're just too lazy to proof-read conscientiously; either way, it's unappealing, and this so-called story suffers because of it. Herbert Beerbohm-Tree once told a writer "Your work is good, and original; however, the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good". This applies to this story, delete and start again. No stars, it doesn't deserve any.

This was an okay story, but seriously, hehe hehe. Laughter sounds should never, ever be written out. Hehe is a dirty old lecher sound. Just adding the words; "she giggled", "he chuckled", "he said laughingly" or "she tittered" can convey the attitude and emotion.

Literature excites the mind and the imagination. Adding a written out sound of laughter ruins your work.

I will second the "D" cups and add huge cock. I have always felt that it is the specifics that can ruin a great story. I will give you credit for using an adjective instead of describing his 11 inch cock. At least it was made a subjective description.

if they were on the outs as you said then WHY THE HELL WOULD HE HAVE STAYED? as soon as he saw her car he would have turned around and left keep it believable please this isn't the twilight zone.

FIrst, he would have stayed because the lake house was a couple of hours away from home. He was there and, I know, I wouldn't want to turn around and drive another couple of hours.

Yes, I don't write the word "God". Maybe I'll just start using the lower case "g", instead. Thanks.

Yes, I do know and understand grammar very well, but yes, I was just too tired to proof-read it. I should have. I will next time.

As far as the "hehe"s, this was one of the first stories I used it, rather than "she giggled" or something like that. maybe I'll go back to proper wording instead of the "hehe".

Good job on this one! The only thing I was bothered by was that everyone moaned the same with the same expression, and the lacking "o" in your gods. Otherwise, very hot stuff!

if you would have stayed then you are just as stupid as this story was. if you are on the outs with someone you don't stay no matter what. makes your story sound stupid and unrealistic as usual.

Quit having the girls say hehe after every sentence it's annoying and detracts from the story

As the story goes,both Angie and Geoff were somewhat upset with each other for years,because Angie got to the point where she hated being referred as Geoff's Little Sister so she pushed him out of her life,and turned into a crazy sex-starved lesbian or bisexual slut that fucked her friend Sammie everyday.

And Geoff comes to the Lake House for some R&R but naturally Angie and Sammie are there getting their lesbianism on,possibly even inviting guys over for gangbang orgies,and of course leaving the place looking like shit and so forth.The girls that night get drunk and suck each others pussies and make out like two long-timed lesbian lovers who can't get enough of each other.

Then Angie leaves to go to the store for more beer and Geoff & Sammie wind up having Sammie giving Geoff a BJ,but Angie comes home and sees the action and feels betrayed by her brother and best friend,and hates them both,but it was actually Angie that betrayed her brother all those years ago because she felt too much babied by Geoff's caring,so Angie being the teen immature bitch she is overreacts when she sees Geoff and Sammie having oral sex,and runs off and locks herself in the bedroom..

Of course as typical it is Geoff who has to apologize because bitches like Angie never do that even when they're wrong,now Geoff has to once again baby Angie and explain why Angie is such a self-centered little twit,and Geoff has too be the better person and apologize as always.

Finally Geoff and Angie end up having Incest Sex since Angie admitted she has had a crush on Geoff since 12 years old,but also held a grudge against him for making her feel like a baby,but thankfully Angie apologized in her own way and invited Sammie into an Incestuous Bisexual Threesome so all of them could be together without judgement or prejudices.I just wish Geoff could have fucked and cum in both Sammie and Angie's pussies and maybe knocked them up so they could be the best threesome ever with kids,preferably girls so both Moms could teach their daughters to become bisexuals and give Daddy/Brother Geoff even more pussy to fuck and Moms to suck Daughters pussies and clits,that would be a Beautiful Christmas Card to send to the Parents of Geoff and Angie all fucking and eating each other.

And a hot read. Just lose the "hehe."

the lesbo CRAP dumped...1 star

Story would have been much better without the bitch friend, Sammie....should be brother-sister with no fucking sharing