All Comments on 'The Last Witch Ch. 01'

It has potential I'm interested to see where it goes. Hopefully they impregnate her that would be good.

please proofread and get an editor

You definitely need an editor or to have someone proofread before you post. Lot of grammatical and sentence structure errors.

I like the setup, and the hints at backstory. I'd like to know more about this world they live in, and the sexual tension looks to be fun :) I do agree with previous comments in that an editor would be a good thing, to help correct the spelling and grammar. A good start and I look forward to future chapters. :)

Thank you for the people that have commented. I am still new to this so it will be interesting to see where i lead the story. I will be getting an editor as soon as i can find one. It will take me a bit longer to get all of the chapters done because i am writing all of it on my phone. Thank you for your comments and advice!!

Agree with the others about getting an editor. But still a pretty good story - even more impressive for typing out on a phone. I think the difference between an average story and good ones are the characters - making them realistic and interesting. And you've done that with all three in this story. And the vivid descriptions makes me feel that I'm right there with them - nice!

Looking forward to reading what happens next.

This is really good!!

I feel like this would be a great story if you weren't writing it all on a phone. There are lots of errors. Plus I think if your hands weren't cramping you would be able to express thoughts more thoroughly. It definitely could be good though :)

I've seen this story before. Did you publish it somewhere else?

I'm sure you have seen this story on Literotica, isn't a new one.

You can see it on the dates of the other comments. Maybe the author edited it a little and something in the system went wrong.

blink and miss the story line

It was reported due to some wording so i had to go back and fix it. At this point we decided to edit the story also.

You needed to fix this story, she was originally only seventeen and it was not until the second chapter that you wrote that she was off by a day and already eighteen. But you're edits.. . You took away all the build up of going through the papers of her parents and a bit of the background as to why she was looking at papers and possibly why she was being chased. Are you changing the plot of xander being promised her? And near the end you wrote that she needed her rest for her long day ahead but last time you wrote for her training, will that change too?

Hoping for more and much longer chapters