All Comments on 'The Lounge Window'

by RandyCross

Sort by:
  • 1 Comment
AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
the lounge window

The decent thing for Dad would have been to die on impact, but never mind.

The hero is working on an app, suddenly he's sitting not thinking?

Usually cut short, or in a pony tail? that's hard to pull off.

You shift from past tense to present, and that's difficult.

Something's missing at the end.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
userRandyCross@RandyCross
A red-haired, red-blooded chap looking to entertain. Want to follow me on Twitter? Go on, you know you want to... @RandyCrossLit