by DKmermaid
This was a sweet whort story. A little more detail would have been nice, but even so I thoroughly enjoyed it. It made me smile. If you do write more about these characters I will definetely check it out... zgirl
i love a short story. it leaves something to image about. if this is your first story, what a way to start.
I really liked the tone of this piece. A bit short but quality should always take precedence over quantity. Would like to see a continuation of this tale.
What encouragement you guys give me, thank you : ) Inspired to continue on this story and go deeper with the characters (description of looks and so on) ...
Wishing everyone a Happy 4th of July : )
It's always nice to have a description of the characters(height, build, hair and eye color, etc.) Nice story, though! :)
I loved it! Keep going and let us know who the characters are, make it into a romance.
A couple of spelling errors ( a peeve of mine) but otherwise enjoyable.
Keep on writing !!
I would never have guessed it to be your first effort had you not mentioned it.
My one (minor) gripe:It took several paragraphs before you finally let the reader know that your protagonist was a woman! It made it difficult for me to get into the story, not even knowing the sex of the narrator.