All Comments on 'The Picture of Dorian Gray Pt. 05'

You'd think with a tag of evil you'd have a vagina that implants candiru fish into random dongs or tits that shoot deadly laser beams out of their nipples during sex. This is just disappointing humanity being disappointing.

Do yourself and the rest of us a favour and get a hobby that doesn't involve writing.

You suck at it.

You want to do a retelling of the Dorian Gray tale, author?

Sure, why not.

But you ain't doing yourself any favor if, at the end of your take, your main protagonist - Helen - doesn't end up dead.

Nobody is expecting you to be as talented as Oscar Wilde, acdd123 (I don't even think you're arrogant enough to think that!); problem is, you're the one who still had enough hubris to call your story "The Picture of Dorian Gray." You could have change the title enough here, like replacing it with "The Picture of Helen Gray" or something, to make us believe that the outcome here may not be the same as the original tale. But recouping it for your purpose put you, in my book, in a position that make it unfathomable there will be no consequence to Helen's behavior.

Understanding me - I'm expecting no happy ending here. But, if you've planed to do your title the minimum of justice, you better make sure that nobody walk away from this marriage alive. I read enough of your story to know you have a proclivity to let the tormentor you write about walk away free and clear from all the wreckage they've caused in someone else's life... Sorry, but you cannot do that here. Not with this title.

There's a lot of readers who are going after this series solely because of its subject matter, and that's their choice. Truthfully, I'm not going to bother doing so, since you've warned us from the get-go what it was all about. Personally, I just want to see if you'll actually give us a genuine Gray tale or if you're let your penchant for masochism leave us with a subpar retelling here. Sure, people dislikes your output so far, but it doesn't mean you can veer the whole thing on its head and give us something unpredictable in the next chapter. Again, no happy ending (at this point, you have to be an idiot to expect such a outcome), but if we, your readers, come up with another solid take of how vanity and selfishness got rot away even the most beautiful of people... it still wouldn't be Wilde, but it would at least be way close than what we got so far.

You got two more chapters left. Please take the time to seriously think about how you want this to conclude.

...it also seems kinda shoe-horned in. Her one reason for picking this guy to be her evil sex-toy was from a conversation she overheard on a train? I think I would be a lot more vested in their sinful relationship if she knew him personally; like, he was a client of hers and was getting all of his wife's life insurance money or something.

Also, you skipped out on what could've been a very detailed and steamy end scene. Elsie could've even had a heart attack and died right there! Now that would've been exciting!

Still, it's great to see you back again! Please update soon!

More evil than ever, love it! Just please make it longer next time, I need more!

Not evil at all, just awful.

plz finish this...