The Porn Crisis

"Are you Mike?"

"Yeah. What do you want?"

"Man, you have to help me." I realize that this guy is far from the arrogant prick I had to watch for so long. This Ramon Gutierrez version looks decidedly unhappy, maybe even despaired. Good. This matches my mood far better than the damn doorbell tune.

"Seriously? I should help you? Why?"

"I... need your help. I love Ellen. And you... well, you've apparently dropped her because of her porn take. You know... I felt bad about that first take right from the start. She... I don't know... She somehow didn't belong there. She's too classy for this... Man you know how beautiful she is. It was just so wrong. She's too witty, too charming. I mean, a simple porn take and then this walking dream appears? Come on... I sensed trouble right from the start. But how could I possibly refuse her? I was kind of immediately struck by her. She really took my breath away. I stayed near her whenever I could, I just couldn't resist her.

"But then she suddenly left. Terrible, man... I just felt so... empty, alone. Can you believe it? A guy like me, hopping from girl to girl, suddenly love-sick? I... don't tell anybody... I even have problems to get hard with those fake titted dumb porn starlets meanwhile. It's... it's just so empty and meaningless. And I was sick of playing that dumb macho fucking machine anyway. I had decided to become a producer for quite some time and this was going to be one of my last movies as an actor anyway.

"And you know what? Along comes my dream woman. And leaves again immediately. Man... it's just not fair.

"So I hired a P.I. to find her. It didn't take him long and I came here immediately. I was so happy and so full of expectation when I stood at her door. But she just greeted me coldly. That really hurt. I had hoped that we had something special. I pleaded and I begged to be let inside. Man, can you imagine that? I, Ramon Gutierrez, pleading. That's how desperate I've been. Still am, by the way. She finally let me in and offered me a coffee. A small victory at least.

"So I offered her everything I had. To take her to L.A., give her a good contract as a porn actress. She would have been a star. But she just refused. I... I couldn't believe it. I had rolled out the big guns, to no avail. Then I offered her to come to L.A. as my woman. As my wife, possibly. Man, I actually proposed to her, imagine that, I hardly know her at all. I also offered her a good contract in the industry, but not as an actress. Again, she politely refused.

"I was desperate and tried to seduce her. I was certain that she wouldn't refuse my cock. But she did. She just brushed me off like a damn fly. Can you believe it? That's... man... that's been a blow to my ego. Unbelievable.

"Then I suggested that I move here and we... well, live here, together. To make it as easy for her as possible. You see, I was actually willing to give up my career for her. She just flatly refused again. Then I said that I could just move here and we could just casually date from time to time. See where it might lead, without pressure. Can you believe it? She refused even that. I finally asked her why. And she told me something truly terrible. Something that really destroyed me. She told me she's still your woman. So I said that I could wait until your divorce is final. She refused again, saying that she would remain your woman, even after the divorce. Can you believe that shit? I fall in love for the first time and of all women it has to be such a weirdo?"

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow. Shit... Mike, you don't want her. You see... release her. Let her go. You just have to. Please. I... you see... I need to have her. And I can't get her until you set her free." He's suddenly chuckling a little. "This is so bizarre. And this is not fair. This dream woman is still yours, but you don't want her. Please Mike, give me a chance here."

"No."

"No?"

He's soaking wet meanwhile, but doesn't seem to care in the least, clearly having other, more important things on his mind. But it somehow makes me uncomfortable although I'm perfectly dry. This is my supposed enemy, but it still feels wrong. He's just a poor sucker, like me.

"Okay, come in."

I offer him a coffee. I look at the man that I supposedly know so very well. But I realize I only know his porn personality, this assertive macho guy is just a role he plays. I'm currently looking at a hurt and broken man. Just some regular, vulnerable man in love with a woman he can't have, just like me.

"I know that I can't blame you, Ramon. You were just an actor and you did your job. I can't even blame you for falling in love with Ellen. I know which kind of effect she has on men. I can't even blame you for trying to make her yours as I had already filed for divorce.

"But you surely don't expect me to help you, right? Unknowingly, you've been my greatest enemy for months. You were my nemesis."

"Mike. I've done nothing wrong. I don't know about your feelings for her, but I really love her. She's my dream woman and I'd do anything for her. Please, you need to help me."

So here we are - two unhappy men loving the same woman. No one can have her, as it seems. She doesn't want him. I can't live with her. Shouldn't the fact that she has refused him fill me with joy? With hope maybe? To be honest, I feel a little better indeed. Obviously, his abilities in bed were not sufficient to convince her. Or mine haven't been as inferior as I had assumed. Maybe she really prefers me over him? Is there some hope after her mindless betrayal? I have to try to chase these thoughts from my mind. I don't want to be filled with false hope.

I realize that we are just sitting here, both deeply lost in thought. Ramon suddenly starts to cry, stands up and almost runs towards the door, muttering something like "have to go, mistake" and is gone before I even have the chance to be embarrassed. I can't say that I'm very sorry that he's gone. The situation was quite awkward. I'm just sorry for me for having my head filled to the brim with Ellen again. But luckily it's still raining and I can continue to watch the drops and cultivate my sadness.

xx

MIKE

His visit has the dreaded effect, Ellen is totally dominating my mind again for a few days. I still think that leaving her was the best decision rationally. But emotionally, I haven't come to grips with it. The thought of dating other women hasn't even crossed my mind. I need some time alone to make up my mind before I can move on.

xx

ELLEN

There he is. My dream man. I admire him as he's standing there, tall and handsome. I see more than one woman ogling him, but he doesn't even notice it. Okay, Ellen. Go ahead. Do it.

MIKE

I realize that I'm staring at this zucchini for quite some time now. Sooner or later I will have to decide if I want to buy it or not. The problem is that my mind is everywhere, but not in this grocery store and certainly not focused on this damn zucchini. Okay, just get over it. I turn around to place it into my cart as someone bumps into me.

"Oh, sorry," I say reflexively, while I turn around. It's her. Ellen. She's standing directly in front of me, only inches away. Those piercing blue eyes look deeply into my heart. Her smell is intoxicating. She looks breathtaking. Stunning. So desirable. We look at each other for an eternity. I feel my erection building. I'm hot for her. I miss her. I want to ravish her. I look into her beautiful eyes and I see her love for me, her need to set this right. She seems so open, sincere and more matured. This suddenly fills me with joy and hope. It makes the past few months fade away. This is my soul-mate, my true love, the woman I want to spend my life with. Everything else is just noise, totally insignificant. I don't want this moment to end. Not ever. I need to have her. Now. Forever.

ELLEN

He's just looking at me. What does that mean? I feel my insides melt, my knees go weak and my pussy getting wet. God, I want this man so very bad. I just hope he won't reject me or just run away. I wouldn't survive this. But he keeps looking deep into my eyes and I realize that the feeling is still there. The deep love we've both shared, our special connection. It might even be stronger than ever. And I see that he feels the same way. I wish he would just take me and ravish me here on these damn vegetables. This is a magical moment, but still I need it to end. We need to formalize our reunion and there's only one way to do it. And this store surely isn't the right place for it.

"Mike, let's go. I need you. Now."

"Yes," he simply says. Can this really be true? He wants to come with me. Yes! That's far better than I've dared to hope for. Everything might work out now. It just has to. The first ray of hope after all these shitty months. Yes!

We need to get out of here. I need to get him inside of me. Every second counts now. I have the chance to get my man back and I won't fuck this up, never again.

MIKE

We practically run to my apartment, which is very close. I'm amazed how quick she is in her high heels. She's even dragging me along. She's never been here, but she doesn't even look around. Her need for me seems to be stronger than female curiosity, which tells me a lot. I drag her into my bedroom and we both get rid of our clothes in a frenzy.

ELLEN

Oh my, is that true? Is that hunk I'm seeing really my Mike? He looks like he's just stepped out of an underwear catalogue. But it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. I just need to consummate our reunion now. I jump onto his simple bed without losing sight of him for a second. Nothing is important now, only Mike. My man.

MIKE

She doesn't suck me, I don't lick her, we just immediately start to fuck. I totally fuck her brains out. Not in the straight, jackhammer style, but by gently stimulating her clitoris with the root of my cock. By kissing and caressing her. By gently teasing her nipples. And she orgasms hard, twice. Which is unheard of. I've never seen her having two orgasms in a row, not even with Ramon. And I know that they are not faked - Ellen is too honest for that and I feel her muscles contract in that special way. That thought makes me even hotter and I come, too. In the end, cock size might be less important than I've imagined.

We stay locked in our embrace and she starts to cry. And then she laughs, still crying. And I feel good, too.

ELLEN

Oh, my god, it has really worked. I'm so happy that I could burst. In the end it was almost ridiculously easy. Just go there, bump into my man, look at him, let him fuck me silly. And boy, did he do that. That was by far the best sex since I've started with this damn porn addiction. Maybe the best I've ever had. The months of separation have surely helped. I think we both have been so horny that we might as well have exploded at the slightest touch. Everything else just didn't matter.

"I love you, Mike." That's all that needs to be said right now.

"I love you too, Ellen."

"I haven't been with a man since you left me. And I have dumped all my porn movies."

"Good." He doesn't tell me if he's been with other women. I doubt it, but it doesn't matter. I'd fuck him even if he has a bunch of STDs and two sluts clinging to him.

"Mike?"

"I haven't been with someone either."

"Oh, good. But you would have had any right to do it. That wasn't what I wanted to ask."

"Okay?"

"Mike, would you consider re-marrying me some day? I'd do anything you want. I won't deny you anything in bed. I will have as many children as you want. I will be your devoted and submissive stay-at-home wife. No porn. No fantasy about other men."

"No."

Oh, no, no, no. Shit. It's been so good. I feel my eyes watering. Have I lost him, despite this wonderful evening?

"I can't. Bigamy is illegal here. And I'm still married. To you."

"What?" Joy pours through me.

"I've stopped the divorce months ago. Even if I believed back then that we would never reconcile. But I couldn't stand it. It seemed too final. I couldn't stand to lose you."

"Oh, Mike. Thanks. What I just said is still valid. You won't regret taking me back."

"I know. Tonight you have convinced me. I can satisfy you."

"Oh, you can. Next time we'll do the slow, tender love making again, with foreplay and everything. I've missed it. And by the way - I enjoy your improved body. But I don't need it. I loved you as you were before."

"Yes, but I wanted to compete with him in at least one way."

"You don't have to, he's way beneath you. Okay, let's pack your stuff."

"What?"

"You have to get out of this shabby hole. Back home, where you belong. Into our bed."

xx

MIKE

We approach our old house and Ellen alleviates my somehow tense feelings about this by clinging to me and showering me with small kisses all the time.

As we round the last corner, I get a nasty surprise. It causes a knot of apprehension in my stomach. But maybe this confrontation is for the best. We all can clear the table finally and I will know where we really stand.

Ramon is waiting for us.

He looks terrible, even worse than on the day he visited me. He's unkempt, his eyes are puffy and red, he's unshaven, his clothes look like he slept in them. He looks like a bum, a sad bum. Somehow, he has lost all his magic. I just hope Ellen feels the same. He might look sad and broken, but he's still some kind of threat to me.

"Ellen, honey, there you are. Ellen, I've... I've missed you so much. I just needed to see you. We need to... I don't know... We..."

He sounds terrible. His voice is hoarse and wavering, I almost pity him. Well, almost.

"Ramon!" She doesn't seem pleased to see him, that much is clear. It's seeping from her voice and her posture. "Ramon, what are you doing here? I thought we had clarified everything."

"Ellen,... please. We need to talk. I need... Ellen, everything has just gone wrong. Can't you see... Ellen, I love you."

"Yes, you've mentioned that." Wow, is that my Ellen? She sounds so very cold. This guy seems to seriously annoy her. I'm just glad that I'm not in his shoes, I couldn't stand this if the roles were reversed. My dream woman appearing with my rival and rejecting me? That's bad. But she has driven me through hell as well. Ellen surely has the power to destroy men and I'm just glad I'm not on the receiving end of this ability this time.

"Ellen. Mike... he doesn't love you. I don't think... You won't be happy with him. Ellen... I promise to make you happy. You will be the world's happiest woman, I promise."

I want to object, but I sense that Ellen regards this as her own battle. She might be right about that. She has started this shit, her mindless sex has awakened these feelings in the poor guy. He's as much a victim here as I am. But I have her and I'm just glad how this has turned out.

"Listen, Ramon. I'm really sorry that the sex we've had in L.A. led you to believe that there's more going on between us. But there isn't and it was a bad mistake anyway. This will lead to nothing, we won't ever be together. There is only one man I will ever have sex with and this man is Mike. I will do all I can to keep him now that I've finally won him back. There isn't the slightest chance for you in this. I'm sure you can have any woman you want. But you just can't have this one. I hope I'm not unclear somehow."

"No, Ellen... Ellen, please remember the fantastic time we've had in L.A. You couldn't get enough of my cock. You know it. Everybody saw it. We're just made for each other. I'm better than he ever will be. He just doesn't have the equipment. Unless his dick suddenly starts to grow, he won't ever satisfy you like I can. You know I'm the better lover." Talking about his dick seems to have re-established some of his old self-confidence.

"Yes, you have a bigger dick. But I'm sorry, Mike is the better lover. That's a huge difference. He just got me off like you never could. One thing is - he's the love of my life. That's a strong aphrodisiac that you can't hope to match. And the other thing - he cares about me and takes his time to get me off with just the right movements. You never bothered to think about that because you assumed you never had to. You think your big dick is God's gift to womankind and making it available for worshiping should be enough. Don't get me wrong, sex with you was fun. That much was quite obvious. A big part of it was the thrill of actually starring in a porn movie. And of having sex with the man I had kind of idealized during my brain-dead porn period. But it was just plain sex, it was never intended to be anything else. Being with Mike is about love, that's a huge difference. The problem is that it took me far too long to finally wake up and realize this. I've almost lost the love of my life and I will devote the rest of my days to make it up to him. Ramon, you're an attractive man. But for me, you don't stand a chance against Mike."

He looks like he has just received a physical blow. I'm briefly afraid that he will sink to his knees or find another way to embarrass himself, but he just turns around and leaves without another word.

"Poor guy."

"Mike, I doubt he really loves me. He just can't handle the fact that there's a woman around he can't have. He's not used to rejection."

"No, I think he loves you. He talked to me and he sounded sincere."

"I think he believes that he loves me but I doubt he really does. He can't possible have come to love me that quickly, he hardly knows me. And sex isn't enough for the depth of feelings he pretends to have. I just think he led an emotionally empty life in L.A. and he mistakes the first infatuation he feels for love. His emotional development is that of a teenager. He has prolonged his wild phase and I think he wants to settle for something more serious now. And I was just the first possible victim for this new stage in his life."

"Oh, I'm not so sure. All of that is probably true. But you have this kind of attraction on men, don't ever underestimate this. You're almost impossible to resist."

"Thank you, kind sir. But even if it's true, the male population will have to get used to it. I'm yours alone now, like I should have been all along. I don't care about him anyway, he's a part of my past. A shameful part of my brainless period. You're my future and I'd like to start it right now. In our bedroom."

"No complaints here."

xx

And that's what we did. And I have never regretted it.