The Rendezvous Ch. 02

"I would not want that role," Keri said, recalling the deranged drug-addicted diva from the series.

"I didn't want it either," Erika grimaced. "But once I saw the script for Traffic, I really got interested. Then I started working with Narconil and I saw how much a role like that could mean to people."

"I did Thirteen for similar reasons," Evan said.

"Roles like that help people," Keri agreed. "I did several episodes on Felicity related to drugs, alcohol, and other issues. Sometimes I think I can't help but psychoanalyze people because of it." She frowned. "I don't want to get into things too deep, but I just want to say this- we all have our fears, our differences. We shouldn't back down from them, we should face them, get them resolved."

"That's what a lot of people have told me," Erika laughed. "Psychologist and otherwise. Facing fear is a long standing belief of mine." She sighed. "The world tries to trivalize our fears, or distort them. They do the same to our identities. They typecast all of us, assume we're just like the parts we play for most of the world. We may not like it, but it happens. And we're not immune from it either. Thus is the world."

"No," Evan said, shaking her head. "Thus have we made the world. Thus have we made it."

"The Mission," Keri smiled, recognizing the exchange. "That's a good film."

Erika grinned in agreement. "It rocks. One of the movies that got me into acting." She smiled, then continued. "Another one was the Breakfast Club. You've seen that, right? What the characters in there did reminds me of what we're doing now. They all sat in the same room, talked to each other, realized they were more than their respective roles and stereotypes."

"Yeah," Keri smiled, recalling the film. "They broke the rules, bared their souls, touched each other in ways they never dreamed possible." God, I want that again, she thought to herself after speaking the words.

"They resolved their differences," Evan said. "Like you and Busy Phillips's character in Home Room."

"We resolved a lot when we did that movie," Erika smiled. "We never really resolved the central plot issue, but it was one of those things that can't really be resolved, so... What's the matter, Keri?"

"I didn't see the movie," Keri said.

"You need to then," Erika replied, emphasizing her words with the apple. "It's really good. It should be required viewing in all high schools."

"I heard lots of high schools banned it," Evan said.

Erika rolled her eyes. "Idiots. Just because a movie has young people facing issues that are hard to take doesn't mean it should be banned."

"Issues like that always happen between people," said Keri. "They're why we're in this room. We've got to air our issues out, settle them. Otherwise, how are we going to work together?"

"Yeah," Evan nodded. "How else are we going to make a movie, especially one with so bad a script?"

"The script isn't that bad," Erika said. "I've done worse. You've both seen Swimfan."

Evan looked down at her script, then looked back up and smiled. "Yeah, this movie is better than that one, but they were both bad. You had fun doing Swimfan, though, right, Erika? You've said so in all your interviews about it."

Erika nodded. "I did enjoy myself doing Swimfan. Probably for the same reasons I enjoyed being on Punk'd after the fact. I like surprising myself and others, proving there is nothing I can't do. That, and it was good for the resume."

"I like doing roles like that too," Evan said. "It's why I became an actress. What about you, Keri?"

Keri shrugged. "I'm the same, I guess," she said. "Mostly I just like my work. I read scripts, I think about whether I can be the people in them, and then I act out the roles. I've had fun with all of them, some more than others."

"Yeah, me too," Erika agreed. "I especially had fun with Swimfan. I've never really killed anyone, and I could never think up schemes like Madison did, but getting the chance to act like I could..." She laughed, again looking at her script. "This movie will be fun too, I know it."

"Oh yeah, lots of fun," Evan grimaced. "Again I offer myself to a guy, and he rejects me." She rolled her eyes.

Keri found herself frowning at Evan's expression. "What's the matter?"

"It's her bedroom scene with Dane," Erika said. "We talked more about it while you were out."

Evan nodded. "You told me how important it is to your brother. I get that. I'm perfectly willing to do it with him. I just..."

Keri thought about the scene, the young girl's words, and what Erika had told her about it. Then she remembered a certain aspect of her fantasy. Whoa, she thought, could that much be true? I have to know, she decided. "Evan, can I ask you a personal question?"

The young girl shrugged. "Sure, go ahead."

"Are you a virgin?"

Evan paused before answering. "Yeah," she said, her tone carrying a deep disappointment. "I haven't found the right guy yet. I'll know him when I do. I like to think so, anyway. I've kissed guys, made out, done love scenes, but nothing else. Nothing serious."

"Interesting," said Keri. Right, she thought to herself. Of course she hasn't. Evan's still just a child. She's not supposed to make big decisions about her sexuality yet. Yes, Ilana and I did at an age younger than hers, and we came out alright, so did Tony, but we were lucky. So many people we've known haven't. To come out of it alright takes a certain maturity, responsibility, wisdom. Some of Evan's characters may have those qualities, but can I be sure she does?

"What about you, Keri?" Evan caught her attention. "Are you a virgin?"

"Oh no," Keri said, noting Erika's raised eyebrow. She smiled. "Not me. Not for a long time. And she's definitely not." Keri pointed at Erika.

"Of course I'm not," Erika laughed. "I adore sex more than anything. You will, too, Evan, once you have it."

"I already like it," Evan grinned back at her. Then she frowned again. "The idea of it anyway. I've thought about it so much, but..."

"Don't worry, Evan," Keri gave her a knowing look. "I'm sure you'll find the right one someday."

"Wake me up when I do," Evan grinned, her blue eyes locking on Keri's gray eyes. Then she looked away. "I will admit, there have been a few good candidates. No one's lasted, though. What about you? Have you been with a lot of guys?"

"A few," Keri said, smiling back. She shook her head, clearing it of memories. Damn it, get down!

"And you?" Evan asked Erika.

"Plenty," Erika chuckled. "Alicia has been with far more, though. You want to hear some stories about assholes..."

"Don't tell me," Evan said. "I have enough stories myself." She looked at Keri. "You too right? Things that didn't work out, stupid fantasies?"

"Yeah," Keri laughed, recalling them. "We all do." She looked back and forth at each of the other two girls, smiling. Wow, she thought, why did I ever doubt I could be friends with these girls? Why? Oh yeah, I stereotyped them. It kept me from seeing how beautiful they are, how... Damn it, that was just a fantasy. I need to stop thinking about it. No way it could possibly come true.

"You were scared you away by our discussion like this earlier, right?" Evan asked her. "And now you've calmed down?"

"Yeah," Keri shrugged, shocked by how much had changed between her and the other girls. They had lashed out at each other before, but now... Things have changed, I guess. Maybe those thoughts I had changed things. Before I was so shocked by them, but now... She shook her head. "They were just stupid arguments. They're over now."

"Good," Erika said, then put down the apple core and grimaced. "I wish Alicia wasn't so scared by them."

Alicia, Keri thought. Right. She knew what she had to do next.

The brunette pushed her chair back from the table and stood up. "I'll be right back."

Erika frowned at her. "Where are you going now?"

Keri turned around. Both Erika and Evan were looking at her, their expressions confused. Oh crud, she thought. Damn it, you can't give your plan away, not if it's going to go right. Think of something fast.

"I'm just going to find Alicia and check on her," Keri told the other actresses. "She's supposed to be bonding with us, but she can't if she's not here."

Evan raised an eyebrow. "And you think you can get her back in here?"

Keri shrugged. "I can try. If I'm going to make friends with her, the way I have with you..."

"Do you want some help?" Erika asked, starting to push her own chair back. "I know Alicia better than you."

"No, that's okay," Keri held up a hand quickly. The idea was tempting, but no. She still didn't know the other girls well. Until they were closer, it was best to keep things one step at a time. Communication was better on a one-to-one basis, at least until you could be sure of your allies. Right now, she couldn't be. First she had to get all the girls back in the same room.

"You two just keep getting to know each other," Keri told Evan and Erika. "I can handle this."

"You're sure?" Erika asked her. "Do you know where she is?"

Keri nodded. "Her dressing room. I heard her in there on the way over. She's where every actress goes when they're cornered. I'll find her there, I'll bring her out. Trust me."

"You're taking a lot on yourself," Erika said. Evan nodded in agreement.

"Comes with the territory," Keri smiled at them, then turned and headed into the hallway before they could protest further. The other two girls shrugged as they watched her go, then resumed looking at their scripts. Still trying to think up her own, Keri walked back the way she had come.

***

Keri Russell tapped on the door of the dressing room two doors down from hers, still thinking about the feelings in her mind. They were calm, but their echoes remained. New worries were there, too, worse ones. Could she do this? Could she play it right? If she could... If she couldn't... Shut up! she ordered her inner voice. I've been thinking about this on the way over. I can do this. I have to do this. It's necessary.

"Yeah, what?" she heard Alicia Witt's voice ask from the other side of the door.

"It's me, Keri," Keri said, running a hand through her golden brown hair and trying to calm herself. "I wanted to talk to you. Erika told me what happened."

"That bitch!" Alicia yelled back. "Can't she let people solve their own problems?"

"Can I come in?" Keri asked, putting her hand on her hip and trying to quell the sudden feelings the other woman's voice produced in her. Stop it, she ordered her subconscious. I calmed you, there's no reason for you to be acting like this now. I have my jeans and shirt back on, my shoes on my feet. Yes, my jacket and underwear are back in my dressing room, but I don't need either of them for this. I'm just going in to talk to Alicia, let her pour out her feelings about her latest argument with her asshole boyfriend and get ready to come back and talk to the rest of us. Anything more that could happen isn't important right now. I can't think about Alicia like I want to, not if I want to help her. Not intially anyway.

"Fine, come in!" Alicia called out. Keri smiled in relief as the other girl's sharp voice made her worries fade. She put one tanned hand on the door's handle and turned it, then pushed the door open and entered.

Alicia's dressing room was a lot messier than Keri's. Clothes, books, and other stuff were tossed around haphazardly, sitting in piles next to a large stereo, a discarded piano practice keyboard, and a flute with a bent mouthpiece. The vanity table was overstocked with makeup, the trash can overflowing with candy wrappers and wadded-up Kleenex. Only the couch was bare. The dresser drawers, clothes racks, and suitcases were all full and bulging. Alicia sat in the middle of the room before the vanity table, her dark brown eyes flicking from her image in the mirror to the droning phone handset lying in the table's center. Keri felt sadness welling up in her own storm-gray eyes at the redhead's dejected expression. Shit, she thought. Well, at least the jerk obviously already hung up.

"Um, Alicia?" she asked, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. Noticing Alicia's bare feet and all the shoes lying beside the door, Keri slipped off her sneakers and kicked them into the pile. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Alicia said. Her long red hair accented the deep pout on her flawless features. Her hands shook as she spoke. She looked at them, then used them to smooth her white dress. The black coat she'd been wearing earlier was flung in a corner. "Lock the door, please."

Keri did so, then walked over to Alicia and picked up the phone on the vanity table. She put it back in its cradle, then disconnected the wire. Unplugging the phone always helped when one needed to talk directly to people, and it also got rid of interruptions. "Erika told me your boyfriend called you," she prompted Alicia, crossing her arms and leaning back against the wall.

The taller actress shook her head, the room's lights catching her hair and shining in it. "We broke up," she told Keri. "Apparently he's found someone else. He didn't say much about her. Probably some floozy bimbo."

"Yeah," Keri nodded, letting her fresh features settle into an expression of concurrence. She had found people going through emotional storms often liked to insult and put down the objects of their anger, and it was best to agree with them initially. "Don't worry, you'll do better. How long were you together, six months?"

"About that," Alicia answered, turning her tear-streaked eyes to Keri. The other girl gave her a comforting smile, then took a clean handkerchief out of her pocket and extended it. "Thanks," Alicia said, taking the cloth and wiping at her face.

"It's okay," Keri told her, regretting there wasn't another chair in the room to sit on. "I know we haven't known each other that long, but I can empathize. I've had a few bad breakups myself."

"That werewolf guy, right?" Alicia asked her, turning back to the mirror. Her face was dry now, so she put down the handkerchief. She picked up one of several brushes and started combing her hair out as she talked. Keri looked around the room and spotted a stool lying beneath several records and music sheets. She pushed them to the floor and grabbed the stool, then stepped closer to Alicia and sat down on it, putting her hands on her khaki-clad legs. Alicia's eyes watched her for a moment. Then she nodded in permission.

"Scott Speedman," Keri answered her query. "His name's Scott Speedman."

"Yeah, you were on that show together," Alicia said, brushing out an especially bad tangle. "You're also on and off again with that musician, right? What's his name? Tommy?"

"Tony," said Keri. "Tony Lucca."

"Right," Alicia nodded, smiling. "I have a couple of his CDs here somewhere. He's pretty good."

"Thank you," Keri replied, beaming as she remembered that music wasn't the only thing Tony was good at. She pushed the thought away, concentrating on Alicia. "He's trying to stay independent for now."

"More power to him," Alicia said, putting down the hairbrush. She frowned, looking in the mirror and seeing the evidence of anger and sadness still present all over her features. She shook her head and some of it disappeared. "I've been trying to stay that way myself for the longest time," she said. "I like doing diverse things, surprising people."

"Right," Keri said, thinking back on all the movies in which she'd seen and heard of Alicia acting. A lot of low-distribution indie films, their directors ranging from John Waters to Alexander Payne to Matthew Huffman. Then of course she'd been in all those cult classics directed by people like David Lynch and Cameron Crowe. Keri had been in far fewer films, but at least her TV career was longer. Malibu Shores, Roar, Felicity, and several TV movies, some better than others. Thinking back on all of them brought a collection of memories to mind, both good and bad.

"Can't do it anymore, though," Alicia said, picking up some eyeshadow. "Lousy critics keep putting me down, saying I need to be more wholesome."

"You don't need that," Keri told her, leaning over and pushing away the makeup. It never helped to let the target of your counsel try to hide what they were feeling. "You look fine."

"Really?" Alicia frowned at her face in the mirror, then looked at Keri, who smiled and nodded. "You think so?"

"You look great," Keri assured the other girl, tapping her on the shoulder. "Definitely enough to charm the pants off any guy, including that idiot Dave."

"Don't remind me of him," Alicia said, her face turning dark once more. "I'm glad he's gone. I just hope whoever's playing my boyfriend in the movie isn't like him."

"He won't be," Keri said. Get her mind off Dave, she decided. It's the best way to finish this quickly. "I'm sure you'll get along fine once he and the rest of the cast start working with us. Which reminds me- we gotta get back in the practice room. Right?"

"Yeah," Alicia shrugged. "Sure. Whatever." She sighed and stared at herself in the mirror. "God, this movie is driving me mad. That fucking asshole Binder, and now my stupid ex..."

"Hey," Keri waved a hand in front of her eyes. "It's over. Judging by the way you're talking to me, it's been over for a while. Having things out in the open will free you to concentrate on the filming, right?"

"I guess so," Alicia mused, running her hands through her red hair and smoothing it. "Dave was no Charlie Brown anyway."

"Your oft-quoted fantasy," Keri remembered, smiling. This she could use.

"Right," Alicia said, her lips tight against her teeth. "I'm coming to Peanuts land, dancing with Snoopy, saving everybody. Charlie Brown is swept off his feet. Peppermint Patty is bitter and jealous."

Keri nodded. She'd read the words so many times in Alicia's interviews. "Charlie Brown always did love the little redhaired girl."

Alicia smiled, looking down and pressing her hands against her well-proportioned bust. Her tone deepened as she pushed her breasts up "Well, she grew up, she filled out, and she's looking for him." She dropped her hands to her sides, frowning. "But I don't know if I'll ever find him, or if he'll like me when I do. I've done so many things, Keri, so many awful things. Sometimes I wonder if even Pigpen would like me."

"Pigpen...?" Keri grimaced in confusion, then recalled the Peanuts character. "The dirty kid, always followed by an enormous dust cloud."

"Yeah," Alicia laughed, pushing her hair back. "He was always my other favorite, him and Schroeder. Gotta love my fellow pianists." She looked at the keyboard in the corner briefly, then turned her eyes back to Keri. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Keri answered. "Are you?"

"I'm okay," the other actress said. "I've just been thinking. Maybe my life would have been better if I had done a few things differently."

"Oh no," Keri shook her head, thinking back to all the tactics shared with her by the psychologists she'd worked with on Felicity. Once again, it was best to use them. But which ones could she use? "You've done great," she told Alicia. "You have legions of fans. Your films are all good, even if they haven't all been classics."

"I'm not that good," Alicia countered, tapping each of her fingers. "I've been in too many small roles. Rarely the lead, almost always the cameo. I've played strippers, whores, drug addicts, trailer trash. One time I even let them film me having sex in a very uncomfortable place."

"You what?" Keri's mouth fell open.

Alicia frowned at her. "You didn't see that movie?"

"No," Keri shook her head, trying to keep disgust out of her eyes. Alicia smirked.

"Cecil B. Demented," she replied, chuckling slightly. "John Waters indie film, dark comedy about the movie business. I play a porn star who helps a deranged director kidnap and brainwash the lead for his next film. I did a lot of things in that movie I would never even think to do in real life, including that awful scene. It was fun at the time, I won't deny it. I love satire. And at the time it was interesting for me." She laughed again.