The Rendezvous Ch. 02

"Uh, sure," Keri gulped, putting a hand to her lips to hide her expression. "Okay. Let's not talk about that anymore."

"No problem," Alicia said. "I'm not surprised you didn't see the film. It bombed at the box office. I've done a lot of other dumb things too. Have you seen American Girl?" Keri shook her head. "The Reef?" Another head shake. Alicia's face and tone darkened. "Urban Legend?"

"I did see that one," said Keri. She raised her fingers and started counting. "Also Dune, Mr. Holland's Opus, Playing Mona Lisa..."

"Oh right," Alicia cut her off, "the good ones. I'll always remember the good ones. Not the guys I date, though. They always think I'm going to go crazy and be like the girls in my bad movies. The exploiter, the vamp, the nympho. They're not ready when I show them how smart I really am, how talented. They get pissy, then they go away."

Keri raised an eyebrow. There's another side to this girl, she realized. One I never expected. "You're bragging."

Alicia shook her head. "It ain't bragging if it's true. I'm a prodigy. I got my high school diploma when I was fourteen, started reading when I was still an infant. Acting's not my only skill." She waved at the piano, then the flute. "When I worked with Rick Dreyfuss, I actually had to learn to play badly."

"Must have been tough," Keri said. She had never been that good at singing or instruments. She hadn't known all this about Alicia either. It was interesting to find it out.

Alicia picked up a pencil from the table and started chewing on it. "It was. Fortunately Rick was there to help me. He wasn't just acting, you know. He's really a good teacher."

"Yeah," Keri agreed. "He deserved that Oscar."

"Right," Alicia sighed, putting the pencil down. "I'm never gonna get one of those."

"Oh, I don't know," Keri shrugged. She tapped the redhead on the shoulder playfully. "You have a good varied resume, a lot of skill. Sooner or later someone will see it."

"Not someone whose work means anything to the Academy," Alicia countered. "Not for me, not for you. Evan and Erika have a chance, but they're different." She made quotes in the air with her fingers. "They have 'connections.'"

"So do we. You know David Lynch, I know JJ. And lots of other people too. We're making more connections on this film."

"You mean we're trying. Binder's not exactly encouraging us." The redhead put on a prissy air and started waving her hand around. "'The Wolfmeyers are supposed to be a close family,'" she mimicked their latest film's director. "'Never mind what the script says. You must get close to each other, bond.'"

Keri giggled, her gray eyes shining. "Good impression."

"Thanks," Alicia laughed, then turned back to her. "You know, I really can't repay you for coming and talking to me. I don't have even a spare nickel to my name right now."

"I'm not here to play Lucy," Keri said. "I'm just here because I feel your pain, even though I haven't broken up with anyone in some time." She frowned, looking around the room. No sign of alcohol or drugs, but they could be hidden. "You want me to get you some water? Coffee? Anything?"

"I'm fine," Alicia said, picking up a cup from the table and sipping at it. "Got Red Bull right here." She took another gulp and smiled. "Good to know that unicorn didn't put him entirely out of business."

"Right," Keri grinned. That was one of her favorite animated movies too. Good, she thought. No booze, no direct evidence of a hangover. Big relief. "So you'll be okay then?"

Alicia put the cup down and was silent for a moment. Then she shook her head. "I don't know. This is my fourth boyfriend so far this year. I'm a zillion for naught on guys that have lasted. I have a lot of good memories, but nobody has ever stuck around."

"You've been with a lot of guys?" Keri asked her, remembering the conversation she'd had with Evan and Erika.

"A few," Alicia shrugged, smoothing her hair again. "I've made out with far more people on camera than in real life." She smiled, then shook her head. "Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed everything I've ever done at the time I did it. I just wish things had turned out differently, you know?"

"Maybe the critics are right," Keri tried another tactic. "Maybe you should get away from playing the sexpot."

Alicia nodded, then laughed and slapped her knee. "No way! I like sex too much for that." She smiled at Keri, then at herself in the mirror. "Every time I have it, even when I have to fake, it's great."

Good grief, Keri found herself thinking. This woman is worse than Mona. One minute a raging bundle of emotions, the next a down-to-earth funny girl. What is with her? How can I play this? "Is there something wrong with you?"

Alicia shrugged. "I think so sometimes. All geniuses have this problem. Massive amounts of ideas and emotions in their heads, brimming up, struggling to escape, constantly breaking the surface. Sometimes they come out wrong, but they always come out. Have you seen Amadeus? Man on the Moon? Practical Bohemian?"

"I did see Young Einstein," Keri chuckled, thinking back to her adolesence. That movie had been very influential to her. For a while she'd wanted to grow up to be just like the hero. Other dreams had got in the way, though. Dancing, acting, and... She pushed the thought away. Concentrate on the now, she told herself. Concentrate on the now. "I bet that makes it hard for you to get with guys sometimes."

"Quite often," Alicia sighed, looking down at her body. She looked up and smiled, batting her eyes. "Of course, I do have other attributes."

"Right," said Keri, mind flashing on her earlier reminsces about them. Not now! she screamed at her inner voice. Not now! Get your mind out of the gutter!

"I've dated so many men," Alicia smiled, obviously pleased with the memories. "They always consider me a conquest, the inaccessible smart girl who the minute she's with them opens up and turns wild. Then they find out what I'm really like, and they go away."

"Have you tried other alternatives?" Keri asked, her past thoughts suddenly filling her mind again. Damn it! she implored them. Get down! I'm working on this. Get down!

"What?" Alicia grimaced, looking at her. "Dildos? Vegetables?" She shook her head. "Please. As if any girl in real life would be into that stuff."

Keri leaned close and waggled her fingers. "There's always..."

"I do that all the time," Alicia laughed, pushing her hand away. She dropped her hand, then grimaced. "It's not the same though. Sex is so much better when you're with a man."

"What about a woman?" Keri asked. She smiled, staring at Alicia. "Have you ever tried them?"

Alicia paused for a moment, looking at their faces in the mirror. Then she shook her head, turned and glared at Keri. "No, I told you. I don't do that."

Right, Keri remembered. Okay, gotta get her off that prejudice. Now. It shouldn't be too hard. Erika already showed me how to shatter preconcieved notions earlier today. I can do it here. Keri shook her head, realizing she still had qualms about the idea of getting close to the other girl, but they were fading. Rising in their place was a desperate need to reach out to Alicia, show her what she'd been denying herself, make her happy. Damn it, Keri thought, what is wrong with me? Nothing, she told herself. Nothing! This is going great! Evan and Erika told me a lot of things about Alicia, I can use them here. I just have to be careful, take it one step at a time.

"But you've been a lesbian in so many movies," she reminded Alicia. "Four Rooms, for example. You were a lesbian witch alongside Madonna."

"Have you ever met Madonna?" Alicia asked, turning to the other girl with a raised eyebrow.

Keri shrugged. "A few times." They'd never had any long conversations.

"Ever notice how she just sucks all the energy out of a room when she walks in?" Alicia asked. She picked up the pencil again and started making gestures with it to emphasize her words. "How she twists and perverts the atmosphere with her very presence? How she's an egotistical bitch who lords it over everyone around her, thinks she knows best and damn what anyone else thinks?" She frowned, then turned away.

"Madonna intrigued me at first, but then when I met her, I found myself hating her. Even today, I often find myself wanting to take revenge on her for picking me to do that part. Fly down to Argentina, grab the Material Girl by the hair. Teach her how to raise her kid right and that there are so many things more important than money. Then maybe I'll freeze her solid, chop her up into little pieces, and feed her to a giant worm." Alicia smiled, while Keri tried to control her disturbed expression. "You ever feel that way about anyone?"

"Uh, sure, I guess," Keri said. Keep your composure, she told herself. Everyone has revenge fantasies, including you. You don't usually get that detailed, but...

"Not Madonna," Keri told Alicia, grimacing. "Some people, though, yeah, sure, I guess." She shrugged, then spoke again. "It was a good role for you, though, right? I remember reading about it. You were young, and it got you interested, got you wondering." At the time, Keri added to herself, I even saw several parallels to my own thoughts on such roles.

"Yeah, I guess it did," Alicia said, a slight laugh in her voice. She looked away from Keri, then back at her. "I was that way at first. It's impossible not to be around other naked girls all the time when you're dressing, especially in this business. I was going through a weird phase back then. Sometimes I would look at other girls' bodies, find myself having weird thoughts. You ever have weird thoughts, Keri?"

Keri nodded. "Everyone has weird thoughts."

Alicia smiled and continued. "Back when my agent at the time told me about that movie, I read the script and liked my character. Soon I was starting to have such thoughts regularly. The idea intrigued me. But then I met Madonna, and well..."

"Brrrr," Keri said, moving her hand to mime an airplane going down. "Boom."

Alicia nodded. "Exactly."

"But you did another lesbian movie," Keri prompted her. Surely her thoughts didn't disappear, right? "Gen 13, that adult cartoon flick."

"Sarah was the lesbian, not Caitlin," Alicia grimaced, then waved her hand. "Besides, I was just a voice in there. I wasn't the part, not really. I was never really in that shower with Roxy."

"Well, you've showered with other girls, right?" Keri continued, fully into the game now. "You've continued being close to them, acting alongside."

"Tara Reid, Rebecca Gayheart, and I did get pretty close during our work on Urban Legend," Alicia said after a moment of thought. For an instant, she smiled. Then she shook her head. "But nothing happened. They weren't my type anyway. Tara's a bubbly blonde bimbo, and Rebecca, well, she's pretty, but she needs to pay more attention to her influence on people. You heard about that kid she ran over, right?"

"That was an accident," Keri said quickly, trying to stop Alicia from changing the subject.

"Right, like the time you almost drowned."

"I didn't almost drown," Keri snapped, not wanting to think about that. Why did people have to bring it up with her so often? "There was just a stupid over-protective lifeguard."

"Oh, whatever," Alicia sighed, putting the pencil down again. "I'm not a lesbian, Keri. I like guys. Nice handsome serious guys." Again she smiled, then it changed to a frown. "I just wish there were more guys like Charlie Brown out there, you know? Assertive and determined, stoic and sensitive. So many guys just expect too much from you, or they're not willing to give back when you give it all for them. Then there are the three Ims. Impolite, Immature, Impotent."

"And the four Ins," Keri picked up the thread, grinning as she remembered similar conversations with past girlfriends. "Insensitive, Indignant, Inattentive, Intolerant."

"Right," Alicia nodded, smiling at each of them. "And the Uns. Untrusting, Untrustworthy, Unappreciative. Not Understanding, though, that's the good Un."

"You sound like you've known a lot of guys," Keri repeated herself.

"Many," Alicia said, smiling once more. Then she sighed. "Many more on camera than in real life, though. And in books." She waved at the piles in the room. "I read a lot. Fiction, nonfiction, comics too. Peanuts, Calvin & Hobbes, Gen 13, Preacher, Love & Rockets, Batman, Spiderman."

"Spiderman," Keri said. She too was a fan of that one. With great power comes great responsibility. "Weren't you up for the part of Mary Jane once?"

Alicia smiled back at her. "I almost got it. Then that bland blonde Kirsten Dunst appeared and stole one of my most-desired roles. That's something Evan and I have in common. I wanted the role, I was excited about it, then Kirsten came in and got all the producers interested in her instead of me. I had to back out, I just couldn't take it." She grimaced, shaking her head as she stared at herself in the mirror. "What do people see in It Girls?"

"I don't know," Keri shrugged. She liked Kirsten's work, and thought she was pretty. They had never really connected, but... "I hear a lot of people like her."

"I can't imagine why," Alicia frowned, flipping her hair back. "She had to gain weight and dye her hair to play Mary Jane, and she and Tobey had zero chemistry. I liked her in Drop Dead Gorgeous, and that cheerleader movie, and the vampire flick, and Virgin Suicides. But Spiderman? Nope, sorry. She just doesn't have the talent or the figure to play Mary Jane, not like I do."

Keri smiled and eyed said figure, thinking back on how it had brushed against hers just over an hour ago in her imagination. She had to agree with Alicia. "Well, there's always the Black Cat."

"There you go," Alicia laughed, waving at a collection of wigs piled up near the vanity table. "I think I have the right hair here somewhere." She paused, staring at the wig collection, then grimaced and turned back to Keri. "I've tried so hard, you know, to be someone else. That's why I got into acting- it lets you strip yourself of your fears, step into another person's shoes for a while. That, and I'm good at it."

You don't have to tell me, Keri thought, remembering all the roles she'd seen Alicia play. Just now, on TV, and in the movies.

"I've tried to be so many different people," Alicia went on, her eyes on Keri but constantly straying to her wigs, clothes, and makeup. "Tried to make critics like me, guys like me, me like me. Whenever I get up every day, I feel I'm in over my head. Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder 'Where did I go wrong?' Then a voice comes back to me, saying, 'That's going to take more than one night, girlie girl.'"

I can't stand it, Keri thought, taking in her words and thinking over them. I just can't stand it. I have to help Alicia, soothe her any way I can. Forget that I've barely gotten to know her before now. God help me, she's beautiful. And smart, warm, funny, open. Why was I ever scared of her before now? Why did I worry so much she wouldn't like me? Why did I have to go through all that angst?

"There are so many times I've just wanted to give up," Alicia declared, looking back at herself in the mirror. "Forget acting, settle down, find a nice guy and pander to him till he marries me. Make some babies, live life in the suburbs and forget all the edges I stood at and looked over."

Keri grimaced, remembering all the times she'd had similar thoughts. For one reason or another, she'd never given in to them. From her bemused, then pleased expression, surely Alicia had done the same.

"Let's talk about something else, okay?" Alicia said, turning away from the mirror and back to Keri. "I think I'm about ready to go back out there." Then she paused, raising her eyebrows. "Wait a second." She looked at Keri. "You were the one who brought up lesbians. Does that mean...?"

"It does," Keri answered quickly, fearing Alicia's reaction. The moment had arrived, though. She had to seize it. If Alicia exploded, she could handle things. She would just take them as they came. "I get with girls as well as guys. Sometimes both together."

"Really?" Alicia smiled, then quickly looked away from her, expression changing again. "I've never done that. Some guys have wanted me to. I've been tempted, but no." She shook her head and repeated the last word. "No. No. It just isn't me."

Something in her voice and expression, as well as the long conversation they'd just had, made Keri doubt the truth of her words. "Haven't you ever thought about it at least?" she asked, leaning in and putting her hand on Alicia's shoulder. "Looked at another girl, let yourself contemplate what it might be like? Or have you always rejected the thoughts in your head?"

Alicia stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about," Keri replied, smiling. "I know something of what you're going through. I had weird thoughts too, when I was young. However, I didn't deny them. I explored them with my best friend, one thing led to another, and..." She waved her other hand. "I think I'm a happier person in retrospect."

Alicia's eyes locked with Keri's, emotions warring behind them. Then, looking at the hand on her shoulder, she broke into a ready grin. The grin faded quickly, though, and when she spoke, her voice was again hard. "Keri, this conversation is getting a little strange. I'm going to cut right to the chase. Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Yes," Keri said, not surprised in the least Alicia had seen through her. Time to amp things up, she told herself, then put her arm around Alicia and leaned closer. "Am I succeeding?"

Alicia stared back at her for a long moment, smiling and then frowning. Keri stayed quiet too, knowing she couldn't help anymore with this barrier. Alicia would have to figure out in her own mind whether she wanted girl sex or not. God, Keri hoped she made the right decision.

"You want to have sex with me?" Alicia asked, staring at Keri. Then her eyes roved around the room, looking at the wigs, the clothes, the books, the flute, and the piano. Finally they settled on the couch, lingered there for an instant, then turned back to Keri. "You want to have sex with me?" the redhead repeated, raising her arms and putting her hands on the brunette's shoulders. "Right here, right now?"

Keri shrugged again, widening her smile. "Why not? You need something to get your mind off that asshole who just dumped you. Don't worry about the others, they'll keep themselves occupied. We can take all the time we need. And no, no one else is going to know about this. Not unless you want them to. I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Okay," Alicia said, blinking. She dropped her arms and looked around the room. Her expression showed a frown, then calm, then a growing interest. "Uh, you did lock that door, right?"

"Right when I came in," Keri reminded her. Good, she thought. It's working. Good.

"Good," Alicia repeated her thoughts, nodding. "I'm pretty sure this room is soundproofed. That's good too." She looked around again, then locked her eyes on Keri's and smiled. All trace of rage was gone from her face now. "What the fuck? Let's do it."

"Are you sure?" Keri asked, putting her hand on Alicia's warm cheek for emphasis. She wanted this, but she didn't want either of them regretting it later. "Really sure?"

"Why not?" Alicia echoed her earlier words. "I like you, and you helped me just now. Sometimes I've really enjoyed your show, even if I did badmouth it to you yesterday. I like more about it than I don't like. Mostly I was just pissed you cut all your hair off like you did."

Keri nodded, remembering the stupid dare she'd accepted. "A lot of people didn't like that."

"I was one of them," agreed Alicia. She reached a hand up and toyed with Keri's curls. "Thank God you've grown it all back. After it was gone, there were times when I was barely able to keep watching your show. I did, though, right up until they canceled it. And since I moved over here, I've been watching it again. This isn't the first time I've had weird thoughts about you." The redhaired actress smiled all of a sudden. "I've seen you naked, you know. That obscure teen comedy that parodies Cinema Paradiso?"