All Comments on 'The Renter'

. . . and I'm just a wee bit jealous!

Complete drivel ..ramblings of a man gone completely off the rocker

rl6717atrediffmail.com

I enjoyed your story. Thanks for writing

The setup was fantasy at best, the characters were stick figures, and the writing is execrable. Get an editor, or better yet, stop writing this crap.

...as some folks would have you believe. I, for instance, write a pretty good story, but this site has never accepted one and they won't tell me why. Anyway, keep going. Write for yourself and don't worry about what some folks might say. If you are really worried about them, see what they have written...maybe nothing

There's no emotional engagement here at all. You might as well be reading a statement out in court.

i liked sounds like my kind of relationship

Show, not tell. Waaay too much telling in this story. Way too few details. No emotions. Keep trying.

I agree with the previous commenters about your story needing work. Both emotion and tittilation are lacking and there are some misspellings. I would suggest you write your stories on your computer's word composition software, spellcheck it thoroughly, go over it three or four times and then submit it. It takes longer that way but you find the missing details before anyone else does! Keep writing; you've got the makings of a good story here.