All Comments on 'The Rite'

Didn't like the story much, but I have to say if this wasn't edited, you really don't need the so called great editor you use, all your other stories with her editing are always rife with errors, oh I know, I know you blame that on making changes AFTER she edited, then why do you bother getting her to do it? no that's an excuse for her poor editing.

So I'm a little confused with the ending. I've read it through three times and call me crazy but it looks like there are two women in the epilogue. Is the woman he shagging at the start of the epilogue the same woman from the shelter on rite night, the one who he gave his badge to, or is it his wife? For me I think a little clarification is needed.

And for that matter it's an interesting reversal of concepts when if the wife fucks random strangers during the night of the rite it's cool but to fuck somebody she knows makes her a slut. As for the concept of helping to lower the divorce rate, why are single teenage girls and women required to participate? Even if they have boyfriends and fiances it's not like it's going to help a marriage that isn't. I would also point out that people do get divorced for other reasons than infidelity. But what would I know, I'm divorced. LOL

but it was still a good read. TK U MLJ LV NV

It jumps around too much... It read like he and the shelter ran away to Canada, but then why bother with the exposition at the end?

And was Heidi the daughter or the new above woman?

PS if this is how you write, stick to your editor... Parts of the story are incoherent, like the end.

Did he dump the whore and move to Canada with the chick from the rest stop, or did he drag the whore to Canada. I have seen the trailer for the mocie you got this from and it looks awesome. I liked the story, I only wish the ending was clear.

Thanks again for another great story.

Having followed Stang for a long time, it seems to me that his tales are getting increasingly disjointed and "weird."

You know Stang, don't listen to the assholes that hated this story. They are probably the ones who liked the incest aspect of Game of Thrones more than anything else. Hell they probably participate in it.

I look at this story as a Dystopian story of a couple who in the end decide that the way society has turned out was wrong, but rather than try to change it or fight it, they escape it.

The people that hated this story for whatever reason probably hated "1984", "Fahrenheit 451", "Animal Farm", and "Logan's Run". This story is by no means a classic, and I don't think you want it to be, but you have taken a classic idea and created a unique world.

For the use of dystopian ideas I give you 5 stars.

P.S. And I am not pussy enough to post this as anonymous.

Took my daughter to the midnight showing. Got home and spent a few hours writing "The Urge." A story about a future America where once a year women were fair game and couldn't say no. Looks like I wasn't the only one inspired.

If I do finish mine, it'll be a while. It's way down on my priority list, but I had to capture the idea before I lost it.

Enjoyed your version. I thought the tone changed to drastically toward the end. Very serious for 3 1/2 pages, then farcical, with the treatment of Gene, and the behavior of

his 'hookup'.

Other than that well thought out, intriguing plot, and reasonable resolution. Thanks for the read.

Your best in quite some time. Fascinating story and I loved the ending. The fat wife was right. Delphina was actually doing a good thing in choosing the same toad to fuck. The husband chose a better option - not having sex at all and trying to work around the system. But you can't fault the wife. She was working the system as well to ensure that the Rite did little damage to their marriage. Five stars and an instant classic.

Really have to agree with Tx on this one. Good story that started to loose its overall pull in the last third. I'm gonna guess that this is the first of a slew of these types of stories that this movie will see put on this sight for the next month or two. Overall enjoyable story, though a little more out there than even last weeks or Rabs. Still though cant give it 5/5... 4.5/5 yes.. but since we don't have that option..... 4/5. Thanks for another enjoyable read Ss.

Thanks for sharing a great story.

Another great story Stang. Enjoyed it.

An interesting scifi twist with mandatory cheating as a plot premise. You have a good imagination and is obviously a talented writer. An enjoyable read..

SS06-Loved it. Your stories are taking on a new path, different but still similar but more imagination. Keep up the great writing.

To those that don't understand the ending, Delphanie went to Canada with him. Did she cheat, legally, no because it was required. Did she break the law, yes. No emotional commitment, only required other partner.

I have come to regard you as a model with an extensive wardrobe. I see your structure remaining largely constant and embellished with different costumes. Nice but for me predictable. So I guess I was happy about the confusion in the ending! If your story was edited I think it came out better then you anticipated and your opening comments were rude. If it wasn't edited you dodged the bullet and didn't deserve your own criticism. This time.

Nothing against this story but, it should be placed in the Sci-fi/fantasy category as it is futuristic fantasy. Is this future also devoid of all STDs and the other reprocussions of an immoral society. Start of story eluded to pagan history, what it didn't mention; is that other societies throughout history have gone down this path once they have allowed & legalized complete sexual immorality, only to end in disaster.

As all your stories, TOO LONG, TOTAl FUCKING TRASH. YOU NEED TO GET A FUCKING LIFE, GET A FUCKING JOB YOU FREE LOADIING A__HOLE.

a little different slant on life. the bar code would have showed that she was

meeting the same man twice a year. the rite would not limit the sex between

people at other times. no real way to force people to do more than get a

bar code from a man. a real man would just give a woman the bar code

and walk away just like he did for his little girl.

Nice tale...fits in well with the recent discovery of our information collecting benign government.....

another unusual one, but still a good one. thank you

C

Liked the story. As you added details, you also added complexity that allowed you to vere off in a new direction. Not once but several times, and it was fun to have to stretch to keep up. I too thought you went with the other girl, but then ended up with the wife....guess you just didn't want to close the other line of thought. Oh well...well done.

But couldn't. Once he had the evidence he needed he should have just taken action. Pussyfooting around is my number one pet peeve about the majority of otherwise decent LW tales. Take action for damns sake. If your excuse is "love," then please understand that marriage does NOT equal love.

I really like your style; this story, in my opinion, was one of your best so far. I've not read everything you've written....yet. But I will eventually.

Thanx for a great read!

Stretched the imagination as you intended. Sorry but having read the story I simply can't help suggesting you look up the Citroen DS5 hybrid. OVER 75 mpg, from a 163 hp diesel engine, backed up by a 37 bhp electric motor, that works a bit like the Sers on a formula one racing car. Yes, that's 200bhp, and four wheel drive for a family car, and one that looks good. I nearly bought one last month, but damn it, ended up buying a Range Rover. Ah well, us car nuts are just like that!

This one make me wish to hell that one can't award ten stars.

Well freakin' done. Original. Well written. Amusing.

Yeah, liked it a whole lot.

another outstanding story. good one keep it coming

Different. Forgiveness?

A rather unique story ....

Whatever you use to get these ideas, don't stop.

Way cool.

Thx

Nicely told. Thanks for sharing. It is nice to see, once in a while, a story where a person can be forgiven for even the worst pain they can cause others. It's not always a display of weakness to forgive someone.

out ran everything on the Course and gets five big ones!!!

You used to have pretty good stories and maybe this one will seem good also when i can read with my pen*s, but until then, let's see, and i quote:

"Sexual boredom led to a lack of interest in both sex and the relationships" you said and this was a main cause of divorce. So whether a husband is getting some strange twice a year or not, have some wife you can barely stand who now gets f*cked senseless twice a year by various other guys, will make your marriage better ???????

What????

On what world????

I think you have crossed to the other side, SS06.

Pity.

I will need to think about this concept to get my head to absorb it. As always your stories are compelling and I look forward to each and every one. A new concept is a little off putting because it attacks marriage as well as freedom. It is a little Orwellian and this is disturbing but your writing is good as ever.

Thank you for your efforts and for your patience with us.

In Stang stories, why is it that guys who drive mustangs cant seem to keep their wives from fucking around on them? Do the mustangs somehow have a mystical method of putting horns on its drivers?

pursued ruthlessly, and in a way only StangStar can do. Thanks for a quirky bit of diversion, and the efforts to please and entertain. It wouldn't be Literotica without you!

Factors leading to divorce has been a big interest of mine. Yes, infidelity is not the leading factor in divorce statistics that I have seen. However, I am a strong believer that sexual intimacy is a major factor in the health of a marriage. While a good sex life does not make other problems go away, it can increase intimacy (that feeling of closeness and connection between two people) and communication in a marriage. These are key ingredients of a successful marriage and can overcome other problems. Certainly, these qualities can exist apart from sex and should be cultivated through multiple avenues. However, sex is an important (if not fundamental) means of developing these attributes.

While the idea of the Rite is whack, it is not totally nonsensical. Even though a thorough exploration of the idea would necessarily lead to the discovery of fatal flaws, it would still generate an intellectually stimulating debate. I could easily see this storyline being developed into a longer work that more fully deals with all the nuances of the topic and its impact on personal lives.

You have certainly given us a glimpse of that, and as a result this is one of your best. This is far from some flippant fantasy story intended as a humorous diversion from the typical LW offerings.

And yes, I do realize that some couples focus so much on sex that it actually becomes a hindrance to communication and the strength of a marriage. There are healthy sexual relationships, and unhealthy sexual relationships. The question is would something like the Rite contribute to the former or the latter. In the case of Tyler, it certainly undermined his marriage, even though his wife was trying to do the right thing in limiting the impact of having sex with strangers.

The story suck'd! I thought it was pure garbage. In stangstar stories as well as others --he usually tells how the court system fuck men over when it comes to divorce, but it seems as if in his version the court system is even worst-- You're forced to stay with a cheater or get your job/livelihood taken away. The story just suck'd. I really don't think 5 pages was needed. He caught her fucking her ex twice, he kept her. The end. Why was five pages needed? Stangstar also has this thing I notice in his stories that has a 3.85 rating, if the wife doesn't cum or isn't really into the sex; then the dirty sluts can be forgiven because she really wasn't into the sex. Get real.

This started out very dark and ended with humor. Takes a good writer to put the two together. I don't read Stangstar06 for great social insight or answers to the meaning of life. I read him for the fun of his imagination. So why all the phsycotic-babble BS from the SS06 haters? If you don't like an author then simplify your life and don't read his stories. No need to waste time reading something you will hate. Thanks for the story SS06.

I'm liking this "Dark" stuff. Keep it up. I like when they stay together like this when its not too much on the wife's end. Well played sir

SS06 your mind has more twist , turns & loops then one of those high flying Roller-coasters. Please keep them coming.

Even though it was a little more predictable than some your recent stories it liked it. There was some interesting vision in it too. Even though you were missing Mikothebaby I felt you did a great job in this "solo" effort. Looking forward to your next.

Your ability to create history and characters with depth in sinle stories make you an elite writer. Don't sell yourself short...

Geez...In 2035, they cannot do any better than using 'deer-hunting' tag technology? The IRS will be in charge of this, of course (Institute of Random Sex) and if I were in charge, using 2013 tech, it would be faster and much less susceptible to fraud. Either an injectable subcutaneous capsule (like for sustained release birth control) or, simpler, a UPC code tattooed on everyone's wrist. Female uses phone app and phone camera to 'read' the code and then sends that information, plus hers, into IRS computers. Duplicate mates from previous sessions would be detective.

Overall, a cute little tale...which would have been much better if MdB had been available to review and work her magic.

4*

I thought the story was weird and full of shit. I didn't like it at all! first off if we all have a chance to fuck outside of our marriages with no repercussions what's the point in spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding? Whats the point in falling in love? What's the point in even bothering to get married? What happens if one of the couples bring each other home an STD or worst AIDS? The description on how the homes looks makes this new world sounds very boring. I think it's even more ridiculous for a government to force citizens to do something they don't want to. If I'm to get this straight Delphina enjoys having sex with gene? Whom Shes been fucking for some sort of revenge because he didn't want to marry her? Are you serious?! This is the woman Tyler kept as a wife? If she's petty enough to give away her pussy Just for some fuck'd up revenge why would Tyler stay? This story was just really out there. If the world was like as it is portrayed in your moronic story, do you have any idea how high pregnancy, STDS, HIV & AIDS epidemic will be? Your story didn't describe a marriage, it's not ok to go out & fuck some random person once or twice a year! Wouldn't it be much simpler to just stay single? I honestly thought Tyler dumped the dirty slut & moved on with the chick he gave his tag to. This story was just insane, the government interfering in people's marriages, sluts keeping their husbands, wimp husbands taking the sluts back. It's just insane ! I don't think this story was worth the wait. I'm going to have to give it a 1*. It suck'd ! I think you need to take a break, this story was not only shitty but confusing as well, why wasn't the move to Canada done before the slut started plotting & planning for genes dick? Why was it necessary for the skank to fuck gene? I'm tired of talking about this shitty story.

He should have gone through and divorces Delphina, she is nothing cheating slut who will fuck around on him again. That is proven by her trying to get him to fuck her so she could take a cream pie to gene, and then her giving and not only letting gene fuck her asshole but sucking his cock afterwards and then be willing to go home and kiss her husband. If you think she would have cleaned up first your madly mistaken. All in all it was a good story but your ending sucked big time. However it does give a look into the future of what America will be like under the current liberal socialist regime we have

Forget serious....ths was a plain fun story.....I laughed all the way through it

Man I loved that car and had not heard that term in a long time. Big honking machine, still...my old mustangs were my favorites. Liked the story.

SS could have put this one on the back-boiler and worked it over more. There are some discontinuities: How de he detect initially that something was wrong with the way the wife was working the Rite?; Did he or didn't he do the young lady from Enforcement?; What year did they get rid of STD's which is a prerequisite for the institutition of the Rite.

All in all I enjoyed it and believe that this could have made a nice episode in "Twilight Zone". TU

I enjoyed it - thanks for posting!

at last the protagonist forgives......I hope they would be flying cars powered by hydrogen in future

The second time around I understood the subtlety of all of the jokes. Tyler Stevens and his friends were all from Aerosmith with their names run backwards. The wife had her affair with Gene Simmons of kiss. The best line was Gene Simmons with they call me doctor love which was a kiss song and Steven Tyler telling him to dream on which was one of Aerosmiths best songs. This story was funny as hell.

I enjoy your writing, but this just wasn't up to what you usually turn out,

Loved this story.

OldMarineVet

aside from the the usual car

garbage it was okay

better than btb

1 Have YOU ever written anything and posted it here?(Thought not) 2 You are a pompous twit. 3 If you do not like Stangs stories why do you read them and then leave negative comments?Pretty moronic if you ask me. 4 Nice job Stang. One of your best. Liked it, A bit odd but good none the less.5*

You have the most incredible, (and possibly, the most warped and creative mind I have EVER come in contact with)--great job, keep it up--

Thanks,

Sam

like others....sorry..I did get lost at the end. BUT, :) I still enjoyed the story. sf population control stories are always interesting and make one think. I for one also like your 'out there' stories. if for no better reason then they flex the old mental muscles. anyone who always puts out a carbon copy of A+B=C is just damn boring and going to get burned out. I accept this in the spirit it was given. enjoy your break and thanks again for taking your time to keep us entertained.

Very good negative utopia SciFi story. 5*****.

I know I must be twisted because this story made me think of the 1993 movie "Demolition Man." That movie contains a future that seemed implausible in 1993, as does this story in 2013. The only difference between that movie and this story is what the future could be like. If the reader found this story to be implausible, so be it. However, it is a work of FICTION!

Like some others have commented I too was a little confused as to whom Tyler took with him to Canada. Perhaps Stang can clarify in the preface of his next story.

Overall, I did find this to be a good (and to me funny) story. Keep 'em coming, Stang!

The Hungarian way of saying: Owl says to sparrow: YOU HAVE BIG HEAD!

The end was confuse a little. Editor...editor...editor...editor...

I liked the future story line of American culture.

What happen to Heidi at the end of the story ?

The text implied that Tyler went to to Canada with Heidi and not his wife !

All the years the Rite had been law who else was Daphnia seeing if nit gene. Was it just random men ! ?

Early on in the story the US government introduced the Rite because of married people wanting sex out side of marriage.

That may one reason and there are multiple of reasons like depression, boredom, sense of excitement, escapism etc.

still a good read

Great story, but I was curious, did Tyler get the Mustang from Ed from "I'm the Monster now"?

Now it was also a very good turn around story -

The rules now say a loyal partner is wrong - you must get it on with a stranger - nice touch !!

So he is the deviant now - as long as they stay in the good Ole USofA nice touch/ Heidi is the daughter so do not hurt yourselves on that part - no real confusion -

Weird, good but messy

I don't get it. What was the point of getting that government chick to track him down? That scene just doesn't tie in with the plot there at the end.

I suppose you were trying to confuse the readers before doing your big reveal as to who he was actually fucking in the end. But it really seemed nonsensical to me to bring her in just to flash him(and not even be mentioned later), which doesn't seem in any way to be relevant to the ending.

The end is confusing. That is the only reason I gave it a 3 instead of a 5. In short who went to Canada with him. Was it just his wife, or did both women go with him, or the Gov women only. This part of the story needs to be rewritten and the sorry reposted.

George in Omaha

First I thought he went with the gov't chick, then it appears he went with Delphina.

I guess(?) it was a one-time when the chick showed up at his door?

I'm somewhat torn - I'm not a strict BTB, and I DO like a happy ending, but still, she CHEATED! The first time was one thing, but when Gene called for the second time she should have told him to get lost!

OK .

the gov. chick tracks him down to give him the tag the day BEFORE the rite.

she gets naked to show him what he can get the next day.

He don't want to fuck anyone other than his wife .. so the very next day he runs to canada..

the wife don't want to lose him so she goes as well.

have to read it slow ,maybe read it twice ..

it's a typical ss06: 180 , 180 / left field / surprise,

i wish he would not do it , it often is confusing & really detracts from the endings on a few of his tales.

some of the magic tricks make for cool endings , most just fuck the readers mind & should be left to copperfield / pen & tell her

xxxhugsxxx

TwistedOliver.

p.s

interesting story , some fun angles explored , well written , entertaining & enjoyable.

5 stars from me.

Cheaters should be flayed alive. Reasons, excuses... worthless. Betrayal invites further betrayal. Only punishment and fear of future punishment will prevent betrayal.

The story wasn't bad, but the concept of the Rite is as ridiculous as the Naked in School concept. Knowing the story is a fantasy isn't always enough to help a reader get past something that so obviously wouldn't work in the real world. In sword and sorcery stories or science fantasy stories you're set up in the beginning to know that biology, physics and chemistry might not work the same.

Presented as a near future tale of the "real" world, this story asks us to believe the impossible. If a law like the Rite were somehow passed all it would do is make marriage even less stable and less popular.

this was OK but as a story worth reading? Not so much.

Sorry I read all the SS06 I find and usually enjoy the experience but I can't say this fits in the model of Literature OR Erotica.

Maybe there should be a new Category Weird Fantasies/Nightmares Caused by Bad Pizza

Better luck with your next effort.

The ending confused me. Was Delphina the woman who appeared at his door, the one he said he didn't recognize?

Who answered the door? Who do you think? Love you all! Bye. Greg. Oh 10 stars = 100 %. Bye.

You write well, but this was garbage.....

But I despised everyone in this fucked up story.

No fucking way that misogynistic system would fly.

Marriages would not survive and the family unit would disappear.

Disease and unwanted pregnancy would occur regardless of protective measures and rape would be rampant as well as hard to prove.

There would be an armed revolution before the first rite ever took place and a mass exodus to other countries.

The U.S.A. would disappear extremely fast.

Did he go to Canada with the wife or the department that tracks compliance girl?

the subject matter was odd, but the thinking was very inventive. I liked the ending by the way.

Not your best work, but also not your worst (barely...). Unfortunately, your ending pretty much killed it. I'm not saying she deserved the full BTB experience, but the reconciliation ending was not where this story was going. So either it needed at least another half page of story to bring the reader along to the ending you wrote, or he should have just headed for Canada solo.

I liked it.

how do couple compete and not compare, TK U MLJ LV NV

Fuck you. 1*

You have become an "I must make a reconciliation author. The protagomnist was decisive and forceful as early built and then neutered to a manipulated creampuff. down to the end

The festival part could come from To Sail Beyond the Sunset by Robert Heinlein. Wouldn't be the first Heinlein spin-off. Nice touch though. Love the 45 mph cars!

Wasn't that a huge pile of RAAC creampie? I bet Timriv will be along to lap it up in a second...

...but I digress. He GENUINELY took back Slutzilla? Fuck! One star

Who knew this; "We just did," I said. "We had oral...okay it was verbal sex. One of the names for a conversation is intercourse, right?" Although when I saw it in Websters forty some years ago it was the other way around. The first definition of intercourse was conversation. Signed: BTW

I would Not have taken Her Back . I would also have had another DNA test done .The Daughter Showed No Respect to Her Father ..

I hate to say this, but the Rite would lead to more divorce not less. Most people can't handle the idea of a spouse fucking someone else, let alone the application of it being mandatory. It would also lead to increased suicide, and murder. I did love the BIBSA thing though.

Overall, an interesting tale. Not exactly SciFi, but close! Way underrated by folks who seem to not be able to adjust to different mores. (A lot like Hubby in this story.).

Only kinda confusing part is when the Rite Compliance chick came back to return ‘his’ tag. Must be the tags get credited to the lady, then are mailed back to the guy. Or, more efficiently, guys get a new personalized tag each Rite. What good would an old one be, if new, dated tags are provided. But the odd part is what she contributes to the tale. Perhaps to set up the double-cross twist where we think Hubby is in MapleLeaf teasing the RC lady.

The major quibble with the Rite Logic is that affairs could go on like they do in our era, since RC lady was offering her sweet ass to Hubby on a non-Rite day!

Nice alternative reality story. He was technically a Cuckold though. She cheated...

with respect to "free exercise of religion", couples should be free to not participate in the Rites on condition that they _cannot_ divorce until one of them participates, with divorce AND other penalties listed here for proven adultery.

That way, if you want to fuck around, say so and do it without penalty; if not, then behave yourself.

Hate to say it about one of my favorite authors, but I just hated this story. Maybe it's too cerebral fore me, or maybe not.

Just hogwash.

It's like combination of Black Mirror and The Purge

Good story. Ending was appropriate with the storyline and the love they had for each other. Again, communication is the key to most problems. lol thank-you for your writing

I loved the fact that you obviously put a good deal of thought into it. But the reasoning she used started the story to unravel a bit for me.

She claimed she wanted him to know how much better her husband was then he was. That was fine, but repeatedly? Big nope there. Needing it rough every once in a while? She'd pretty much get that during the Rite. And after all those years if she was still hurt because she was nothing but a fuck toy to him, being his fuck toy again wouldnt resolve that issue in her head.

So no, while the main plot was excellent, I'll steadfastly stick to the fact that it was ruined by not enough thought being put into there being a good/acceptable reason to make it a RAAC story.

Entertaining and well written, especially considering that it was self-edited.

I agree with several other commenters that the ending was a bit confusing and required careful reading to get it, but that’s not a bad thing.

I’m one who can appreciate both a reconciliation ending as well as a well deserved BTB depending on the circumstances. In my opinion, this story, as written, deserves the reconciliation.

The author though, like so many in the LW category, demonstrates a very masculine and dare I say, threatened view of feminism, which, in my opinion, places him just this side of caveman (or maybe Sadletramp).

As to the cars;

Yeah, I get it the author loves his Mustang. It’s his schtick, it’s in his name. I own a 43 year old classic car myself that I love and is a real thrill to drive. Though my car provides the thrill from handling and finesse rather than just throwing horsepower at it.

From the authors opinions and attitudes, I’m going to assume that he is somewhere in the neighborhood of my age, whose perception of automotive technology is rooted more in nostalgia than reality. Granted it’s been a few years since this story was written, and EV technology has advanced since, there any number of EV’s that would blow the doors off his Mustang. Give it 20 more years and it won’t even be a contest.

pathetic cuck

Nagyon különleges írás volt ,nagy képzelő erő által született,minden a helyén volt! Köszönöm és gratulálok!

wtf was this shit.. loved my ex wife even when she cheated and still sent her ass packing. grow some balls.