All Comments on 'The Ritual'

In retrospect, I think I should have only given 3 stars.

I like the idea of a ritual like this in general, especially the mom waiting dutifully. And the dirty talk almost works.

There are some grammar problems, but I don't refuse stars for that (if there are a ton of errors I won't bother to rate it.) The grammar mistakes were small, but the real problems were in the story itself:

1. There was no story. You occasionally refered to a history, but gave zero detail, and no actual story occurs in the narrative. A scene that establishes a status quo - and nothing has changed - is not a story.

2. The son has no voice. This may be the only piece in this category I have read where the son literally is never shown to speak. Despite the assertion that he is dominant and she is submissive, he exerts no real authority. Everything they do is according to a script we are told is from their past. Ultimately he reads as a faceless sex toy for her to pretend is her master. I have no problem with women masturbating; no problem with their adult son being what they are masturbating about. But that is all this amounts to.

Maybe establishing/stressing that he expects it all to happen without his needing to speak could salvage this problem a little bit...but even then he should be communicating with face/body language or non-verbal signals (i.e. a double tap on her ass means she should roll over or snapping his fingers means she should kneel.) I cannot say 100% that this would be hot for me personally, but at least there would be agency and a sense of a couple enjoying sex together...rather than one human being and her robot.

Sorry to be harsh. You obviously have an imagination. Use it to draw more complete pictures and to tell fully formed stories, and I will be happy to read it.

-O.F.

"My son was desperately deep-throating me now."

Erm, what?

Please continue! Maybe a prologue?

Great story and you are obviously a new talent author for the Lit.

It would be nice though if we could find out as to how she became a good mother who takes care of all of Tom's needs.

Surely she was very reluctant indeed when her son started to miss behave with her to begin with.

Do hope that you can tell us how the son overcame her reluctance and persuaded her to willingly do his bidding!

Circumstances have caused many grown sons to live with mom. Often there is more going on than outsiders would ever suspect.

WOW!!! Loved your story. Brought back memories of my Mom. She was the first and the best I ever had. She loved to fulfill my every fantasy, and we did most. Mom even use to fix me up with her friends for sex. They proved to be great teachers. My favorite moment with Mom, was when she joined me and my girlfriend one night at the drive-in. She taught my girl how to give head and fuck without getting knocked up. And when I got to watch her and my girl 69!!! More stories!!!

Yep, I'm sure the story of this mom's downfall would be very hot. Please write it.

Usually like my stories a little slower and with more build up, but I absolutely loved the freight train rate of this story. Really amazing. More please...

Quick great story but could do with it being long and more chapters.

I hope you write much much more, plz dont waste it.

Thats a good title for this story :)

Not nasty enough

Yout story describes every man's dream woman. It was very hot...