by AhWonder
...a bit more florid and detailed than necessary to tell the "story"....but it wasn't really a story, was it? More, a very detailed description of a relatively short timespan.
Usually, one expects at least one character to experience some dynamic change in their situation, life, lifestyle, work, home life, etc., etc., etc.
This contribution did not offer that. Also, I would suggest putting more effort into their internal monologue and characterization and less on the intricacies of you event.
Thank you.
The story was basically a long, well done description of a sexual encounter, a vignette. There wasn't really anything else. Neither character was filled out, no conflict, no real drama, so it did come up a bit short of what most of us think is a story.
I like Jakewho69 ( now under the sod) winterfrog, and Harddaysknight for good well plotted stories. Read a few of their stories, and get some sense of the beginning, middle, and the climax. I'm and engineer, not an english major, so I can't do better than point you to the masters on this site.
Chilley
Very nicely done. That is a fine example of a loving couple.
Hot!! Like a marriage should be.
Pretty good writing skills. Dialogue good. Not much plot, not needed. Earned yourself 3*s.
Thanks and will look for your next post.
AMerryman
I like the Loving Wife, but will wait to rate it at the end. So far so good.
At least we can't complain about wife and lover treating hubby like dirt. You wrote pretty good, but it's missing that certain ommph that keeps us on the edge. Keep trying--you show talent. Thanks!
They noticed that they didn't have much passion in their relationship?
Maybe if they weren't so formal and clinical about sex and love-making it would be easier.
It was OK, I guess. A little too . . . tame for me. But nicely written. No angst, which I would have liked at some point. A very good first effort, though, and much better than any effort I could have made. So, thank you.
Maybe we're starting a trend here. Wives that actually do love their husbands and enjoy hot sex with them. One can only hope. Nicely done. A little kinky, but hey, kinky is good. Props to you. Look forward to reading the next.
It's all there. "my lover, wife and best friend"...no need to say anything more...3* for now
- we enjoyed it anyway and are looking forward to more.
your comments are getting boring, try something new
are you really that lonely that you have to seek attention on a porn site?
to offset the asshole of LIT. You know the fat old ugly lonely fag with ED!!