The Sharpest Lives Ch. 13

I moved on to the workstation. Things at work must have gone to shit now that Dad was dead and I was away for almost two weeks. For once, I didn't feel like caring. They can go squabble all they want. Mom can take the whole shit and give it to Alex, I just wanted out. Maybe, after things settled, we could leave this city...

I groaned, remembering Kim's studies. She had attended next to no classes this year. She'd probably have to repeat. This was my fault. I should have told her.

But you never did, did you? said my mind treacherously. You just kept her in here, because the only job she had was to be your good little whore... and she passed that with flying colors...

I grew hard, despite myself, as I remembered her, bent over this table, withering and shaking, my hands lifting her ass, spreading it with my thumbs, whispering things I'd do next as I teased her... Her holes had become so soft and pliable... I closed my eyes as the phantom sensations took me away...

Remembering how she cried the first time I used clamps on her nipples... she struggled so much, her arms around my neck, her legs tangled around mine tight, rubbing against me as I adjusted them. I had kissed her, running a hand through her hair, trying to soothe her, and my other hand had snaked to her open pussy, slowly rubbing her clit, sometimes pushing in a finger... and then she asked me what the other clamp was for, and I smiled, despite myself, as I whispered in her ear, and felt her tighten in fear around my fingers...

Lying on the floor, shivering, her clothes forced open, cum dripping from her mouth, looking down at her as my foot pressed slowly over her throat... she couldn't keep it down after the first two months. She always vomited terribly afterwards. But she never complained.

Wasn't all that difficult? Was that why she spent most of the time lying down? Because she knew I'd come each evening and...

I felt sick. I wish, for once, that she had slapped me in the face, or threatened to walk away. Maybe I'd have fixed things then. Or, maybe I'd have taken that as a challenge, and showed her the door. Hah.

That's what. We both saw everything we had with each other as a challenge. But who were we trying to impress? Each other?

Things made sense when she wasn't around. We need time apart. It was a good thing- and I started laughing at the irony of it- a good thing, that I pissed her enough to stab me, that she fell sick enough to force us apart.

But I saw it in her eyes as well... we could not stay apart.

We can't, right? I told myself, as I started lifting the mattress. Flipping it over was difficult- I had no place to maneuver or way prop it up. I let it fall, and watched the dust rise up as the mattress crashed down upon the bed frame.

A new, bigger bed. Kim would want the baby next to her, in bed, I was sure of it. At least, she'd be within arm's length of me.

I fell back on the bed, lying, my arms crossed behind me. Now, how do I get her out...

The doctor had said the only definitive cure for this would be to deliver the baby, but since it wasn't fully developed yet, they had to keep her pregnant a few more weeks.

A few more weeks.

In my mind, I saw Mr. Jay standing angrily over me. "The little rabbit you had cut open would have given birth in a few more weeks," he said.

"It was in pain," I had answered blithely. "Better dead than suffering."

"Really? It was in pain? Or did you do something?"

"I did nothing." I asserted.

"But you cut open its belly!" Mr. Jay was never furious, but here he was, storming on me.

"I wanted to see what was inside," I admitted. He groaned, and covered his face his hands.

"Something isvery wrong with you, son," I heard him say.

I recalled that I just stuck my hands in my pockets and shrugged, waiting for it to get over. That's what they all said. Until they grew the brains to tell me what the 'something' was, I'll just do what I did.

Kim never told me something was wrong with me. She was fine with me. Well, up to a limit. I trusted her, to tell me if I wasn't... She was always clear as sunshine to me. Until I-

I groaned, as though I was stabbed again. I sat up, covering my face with my hands.

Ironic, I thought, that now the only way to save my little rabbit was to cut her belly open...

I'll do it. I'll fix everything, and she'll be back with me.

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The nurse gave me a look as I touched the handle of her room's door.

"Yes?" I asked. I was sick of getting treated like this. I'm not coming here, ever again.

"She's asleep," she whispered, as if even talking in a normal tone from outside the room would wake her.

"Well, I'll just see her and leave. It'll only take a minute." I pushed on the door, not waiting for her answer, and stepped into the semi - darkness.

The soft glow from the light above the bed illuminated her sleeping figure. I gently laid a hand on her cheek, caressing it, hoping to see her melt into the cup of my hand, how she always used to... but she didn't.

"Kim," I called out gently. No reaction. I crouched down to her ear, lightly placing a kiss on it.

"Little rabbit... wake up," I whispered. I felt her stir, but she didn't open her eyes.

I started running my hand though her scalp. How I missed touching her...feeling her silky hair...her soft, sensuous body... her little pants of breath, the flutter of her heartbeat as my hands roamed her figure...

"These nurses are the worst. They piss me off like anything," I chuckled. She stayed still, but I knew she wasn't sleeping. She was holding her breath.

"Is it that tiring? Or are the headaches too much?" Still no reply. I tried again. "You've lost a lot of water weight. It was silly of me not to notice it before, actually, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings by pointing that out. Plus, you looked cute like that," I twaddled on.

She shivered slightly, and I pulled another cover over her. " Tell me if it gets too hot." I felt her roll over, as much as she could without putting her baby bump under her.

"You know, we never talked about a name for our baby. I'm terrible at names. Have you got any?" I asked. She should answer this one, she loved talking about the child.

"You should hurry up if you haven't. They're thinking to deliver him by the eight month," I pressed. "Just three more weeks to go... Now you can count the weeks on one hand."

Still nothing.

"You know what scares me the most?" I asked, slowly becoming desperate. "When they put the belt thing over your belly and I hear the tuk-tuk-tuk of the kid's heartbeat... Ahhh, I don't know why, it freaks me out. Your belly shouldn't be making those sounds, it's unnatural." A little laugh escaped into my voice as I said that, as though I myself was laughing at my words. "This feels like... that time you kept the kitten... I can't explain babydoll, but I promise this time I'll not do anything to make you unhappy."

My hand now rested on her shoulder, and I felt a very slight twitch... Maybe I should remind her of better things.

"Forget that. Meanwhile, if you feel any better, they'd let you go home. I want you to go home. I'll make them. Don't you want to come home?"

I needed her next to me, our skins touching, breaths intermingling.. . I wanted to see her, before I slept and when I woke up. I felt as though I was starving without her.

"I wanna go home," she said very quietly.

I sighed in relief. "Good. I'll tell-"

"I want to go home," she repeated, in the same monotone.

"Yes, of course," I agreed, slightly confused.

"My parent's house," she clarified, "is my home."

"Oh..." I felt a stabbing sensation in my chest. Was that the scar tissue again?

"Your parents... you want your parents?"

"Yes."

"Won't it be a hassle for them?" I countered. "Won't you rather stay with me- I mean, at my mother's house- it's near a hospital, and we can keep a nurse for you-"

I heard her let out a sob, and the light over the bed went out. She had turned it off.

"Leave," she whispered. "I want nothing from you."

I stood up, and grasped the side of the bed. I looked at her, hoping she'd turn around, hoping she'd say something else... nothing.

I left.

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I stood silently in the corner, watching them.

"Kim? Honey?" Her mother ran a hand through her open hair, spreading it around her pillow.

"Mom?" I heard her whisper after a while.

"Oh... you're..."she started tearing up, as she leaned in to kiss her face. Kim grasped her mother, her weak arms trying to pull her down. I stood silently in the corner, hoping she didn't notice me.

"How are you, baby?" asked her mother, after a while.

"Slightly better. I just feel woozy all the time."

"You'll get better," said her mom, encouragingly. "We're here."

"Is Dad here?" asked Kim after a while.

"He's talking to the doctor."

They were quiet for a while. "I'm sorry mom," she said finally. "I... I made stupid decisions."

"We all do. But you don't have to suffer so much for them."

I watched as Kim ran a hand over her abdomen, and her mother's hand followed suit.

"Is it too difficult?" asked her mom. The pain in her voice was unmistakable.

"Just...the waiting," she whispered. "I want to see him so much..."

"It'll be all over soon," reassured her mother, pulling Kim into her embrace again. She looked at me, as if asking if I wanted to talk. I shook my head, and left the room.

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One more week passed somehow. I was rarely at home, and hardly at work- I finished as fast as I could, then came back to the ward, and stayed until closing time.

The doctors were very happy with Kim's recovery, and now wanted to discharge her as soon as possible. She herself was in a much better spirits now. She was frequently awake, talking, eating, sometimes walking.

I spied her, moving around the corridor, shuffling steadily, her hand against the wall for support. I watched in anguish, from far away.

She still did not want to interact with me at all. She was angry with me.

I hoped she was angry. Better angry than indifferent.

The doctors and staff understood something was wrong, and never mentioned my coming or going to her. At least, they stopped looking at me as though I did something wrong. They warmed up to me when they saw me asking about her condition, bringing in friends and family to see her... doing everything to make her feel better. But I knew she guessed I was around anyway.

My stomach churned as I watched her carry on, away from me.

My phone rang. It was Mom.

"Hi," I answered.

"I forgot the room number, what was it again?"

"1204. You have to ask at the desk anyway, I don't think they'd let anyone waltz in."

"But you hang around the place like it belongs to you," she retorted. "Why don't you come home, Liam?"

"I'm fine here." I ran a hand through my hair. Not this talk again.

"Then why don't you come see Kim with me?"

"I got other things to do. Did you talk with her parents?"

"I did. They were very thankful that I kept her in since thebeginning of her pregnancy," she said, stressing on the word.

"No... No, you didn't say that..." I started panicking slightly.

"Kim is not an idiot. She probably kept quiet. I'll tell her not to say the whole truth to her parents, and she'll agree with me. And meanwhile you can start preparing an explanation for all this."

"An explanation? You think I caused her to become sick?" I replied, acidly.

"Don't try to play with me Liam. I raised you," she replied. Her voice took a dark tone. "If I can't get it out of you, I'll get it out of her, and when the floodgates open I don't believe for a second it'd be any of her doing. I just need to find outwhat it was that you did."

I stayed quiet. She continued talking. "And I agree with them. Kim should go back to her parents. Do you understand, Liam?"

"Yes," I replied, tersely. I cut the call. I didn't want to hear any more of this...

Things were not going how I wanted them to go.

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A/N: Scar Tissue - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Only two more chapters to go!