The Strangeness Within Pt. 02

A truck like that could probably go anywhere. Somehow he knew Ester had gone where she'd wanted: high up in the woods. With a woman reclusive enough that she communicated by anonymous telephone and P.O. box.

He didn't know what to do next. He trudged back up to camp, his chest heaving, coughing with sobs he couldn't control.

* * *

Javier sat in his shitty little car and pretended to read a map. It was the second day he'd staked out the tiny Sierra City post office. He'd seen a fair number of old women, and a fair number of off-road trucks. Even a few of those women with those trucks. Nothing that seemed evidence enough to accost them and ask if they'd taken away the love of his life.

He didn't know what he was doing here. Who knew if the woman even checked the box herself. It was a small town, and he felt conspicuous. No doubt someone would call the police on the creepy Latino guy soon enough.

Tomorrow was the day to check for messages from Raj, so he might as well head down there. Esther knew he'd want to look for her, but the letter didn't read as if she thought he'd find her. And the hard truth was that she didn't want to be found.

He pulled the letter out again, carefully unfolding it. She didn't pretend not to love him. She didn't pretend not to be hurting him terribly, though she seemed to think it was partly for his own good.

And maybe he was being selfish. Of course he understood why she wanted to meet the woman, but it was more than that. She'd implied she was feeling smothered. She'd been totally reliant on his help for whatever future they were going to have. And now she'd disappeared more completely than he could have ever arranged for her. She believed she was safe, and he had to trust that. If this was the price they paid for her safety, so be it.

He still knew things about her that he needed to conceal. And Mamá might be in danger if Daniels were desperate enough. The best thing he could do now for all of them was to pretend nothing special had happened. Go back home and say Esther had been sweet but a little paranoid. They'd run off together, it hadn't worked out, and she'd gone her own way.

But Javier would be there for her when she needed him.

* * *

There was no message from Raj, which didn't surprise him given the old woman had managed to track down Esther on her own. Not for the first time he worried about how she'd done that. He could imagine Daniels and whoever he worked for managing it, with police surveillance and spy satellites or whatever. But Esther was too smart not to have thought of that herself, and she would've written a different letter if she'd been afraid. Just another mystery.

He left a bit of paper taped underneath the bench, with a single word: "Goodbye." Then he filled up on gas and snacks and hit the freeway. Time to pick up the pieces of the life he thought he'd left behind.

Many hours later he parked his car in a long-term lot next to the bus terminal, and eventually he was riding the last few miles home. He'd have to retrieve his things later and find a place to store the car. He didn't want anyone to connect the vehicle and false identity to his real home.

When he finally reached his driveway, it was near eleven at night. The Thompsons' place seemed to be in the midst of a move or renovation. But his house looked unchanged. Swallowing nervously, he knocked loudly on the door.

He'd thought Mamá might be asleep already. But he heard her heavy footsteps and the porch light turned on.

The door flew open.

"Oh, Javier," Mamá cried. "My baby."

They held each other desperately, and he cried into her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Mamá," he blubbered. "I'm so sorry for everything."

"Not your fault, mijo," she murmured, pulling him inside and wiping her eyes. "Not your fault. Is - is everything all right?"

He knew what she was really asking.

"She left me," he said, starting to cry again. "She left me."

Javier haltingly told her the story he'd come up with, knowing she'd recognize its half-truth. But the important parts were all there. He didn't know where Esther had gone. He was worried for her, and his heart was broken, but he thought she was safe. He was going to try to resume his old life. Three weeks, that was all he'd been away. A lifetime.

"Let me get you to bed," Mamá said at the end. "Everything else can wait until tomorrow, no?"

When she had him tucked in like a child, she took his hand.

"Of course I'm ecstatic to have you home, but I'm so sorry, Javier. I guess what's meant to be is meant to be." Her tear-streaked face was full of understanding.

Long after Mamá had turned out the light Javier gazed at the empty window next door.