The Strangeness Within Pt. 04

She felt Nicola bustling about the kitchen, setting a place for her. And then her vision disappeared, leaving her simply a confused young woman in a cool bath, her skin tingling all over. Esther sighed and got out of the tub.

"Thank you for suggesting the bath," she told Nicola when they sat down. "I think I'm finally getting somewhere with my meditations. I still really have no idea what I'm doing, though."

"It will come," said Nicola indulgently. "I can't wait to hear what stuff your weird brain can do."

It was a quickly cooling evening, and when they'd cleaned up they rushed back to the cabin. Nicola quickly stripped and put on her warm pajamas. For once Esther didn't avoid looking. The freckles on her inner thigh extended around to the lower part of one buttock. She could only imagine how good that must all feel during sex.

"When did you get your freckles? Your spots?" Esther asked.

"Oh," said Nicola, smiling as she faced Esther. "Some of them were always there, I think, but they were nothing special. They didn't really get sensitive and start changing colors until my boobs came in with a vengeance. I don't know, around fifteen? They kept getting darker for a few years but they've stayed pretty much the same since then."

"And everything else was — normal, basically? Except your period?"

Nicola nodded. "Within ordinary variation, I think."

"So, you were a little unusual other ways?"

Nicola laughed. "OK, so I seemed really horny all the time once the spots came in. But probably that's just me. And I also was, well, I hope this isn't too much information. I was really tight, even for a virgin. Sex was kind of painful the first few times. It's fine now, really. Anyway, Mark is very gentle, and he's — uh, not as big as some men. God, don't tell him that, whatever you do. Don't ever say anything about that to a man. It's not like he's tiny anyway. Just right."

Esther's heart thumped.

"So you got a lot bigger inside, as you got older?"

Nicola smiled. "Inside? Uh, I don't think so, really. I think I had a tough hymen, but that's gone. And you know things can stretch, right? Plus I'm not so nervous anymore. Easier to get wet, let my muscles relax, all that."

Esther sat still for a long while.

"Esther," Nicola said. "Do you want to show me? Because you're obviously terrified that you're abnormal. And I'm going to tell you that whatever you have down there, you can make it work for you."

Esther nodded, very slightly. She had to show someone. If she could show Nicola, maybe she could show Javier someday. But she felt frozen.

"OK," said Nicola. "I'm going to turn off the light. And then I'm going to take off my bottoms. You can even touch me, if that would help."

Esther swallowed. There was something comforting and strangely erotic about being here alone with Nicola. Another woman.

In the dark, Nicola came to sit next to Esther again. Esther's vision was oddly acute, the way it often got lately when she was aroused, or just comfortable.

"OK, I'll show you mine, and then you can show me yours." Nicola giggled for some reason, and then she pulled off her bottoms and spread her legs apart slightly.

Even with her sharpened vision, Esther couldn't see much except the thatch of hair. But she knew well enough what Nicola looked like. And she knew how deep the other girl could fit her fingers inside herself, or the way she grunted in satisfaction when Mark drove his penis all the way in.

"All right," Esther said. "Sorry, I'm terrified, Nicola."

"I understand, sister," said Nicola softly. "Believe me."

They were the right words. Quickly, Esther undid the snap of her pants, and then she pulled them off with her underwear, dropping everything on the floor. Her legs were shaking horribly. She was so small, so skinny next to Nicola. The other woman's muscled thigh was smooth and warm against her.

"From what I can see you're beautiful," said Nicola. "Can I get a closer look?"

Esther nodded, and Nicola knelt between her legs. The way she imagined Javier doing. Or Mark. But Nicola only touched her knee gently and looked. Esther could practically feel her gaze tickling against her nakedness.

"You're so pretty," Nicola said slowly. "Your hair, and those colors. But you are very small, aren't you. Has it always been like this?"

Choking back tears, Esther gave a very brief account of injuring herself. Of the small changes since then. She left Javier out of it all.

"But you are still sensitive there, aren't you?" Nicola asked. "Maybe fitting a penis inside won't work. But you know most women don't find that the most important thing, right?"

"But men do," said Esther.

Nicola snorted and shook her head.

"Fuck men. I mean, not literally, but who gives a shit? You need to figure out what makes you happy, and if you're expecting a man to do that for you, you'll be disappointed. You have to tell them, sister, which means you have to know for yourself."

Esther sighed unhappily. "You're probably right. But I can't figure it out myself either. How am I supposed to have an orgasm without even having a clitoris?"

Nicola nodded. "I have no fucking idea," she said. "But look, you have other erogenous areas, don't you? Those help me out a lot when I'm having trouble coming. And probably you just need to experiment a bunch. I'm guessing that you haven't even had a guy go down on you."

Esther coughed. "You mean, use his mouth on me?"

"Yeah," Nicola said. "You want me to give it a go? Maybe I can get you jump-started."

Esther stared. "But you're a girl," she said.

"Guilty," said Nicola. "And I've never done it before. But maybe that means it's low-pressure, right? No expectations. Even if it doesn't do anything for you, maybe that's because it's your bitchy roommate Nicola rather than someone you actually like."

Esther smiled a little. "I like you all right. OK, go ahead."

Nicola froze. "Seriously? Oh, OK. Uh, maybe you should help a little then. Do whatever makes you feel good. You don't have to take anything off, though I have to admit I'm dying to see your boobs."

Hardly knowing what she was doing, Esther pulled off the rest of her clothes, shivering despite the warm cabin.

Nicola stared up at her, mouth open. "Christ, Esther. You're gorgeous. I've never — I've never seen such beautiful tits." Nicola shuddered slightly, and then she planted a kiss on Esther's inner thigh.

On Nicola it was probably incredibly sensitive, right on top of her freckles. For Esther it was a little ticklish. But Nicola's breath was warm, and she ran her tongue slowly higher, probing along the thick fuzz toward her groin.

Esther gasped when Nicola's tongue finally reached the edge of the hairless patch. It was at once cool and warm. Nothing like Esther's own finger. She closed her eyes and she nervously started to rub her back. And then she felt Nicola's hand stroking between her breasts, surprisingly like the way Javier had learned. Of course, Nicola knew how to touch these patches.

Nicola slowly moved her tongue around the ring of thicker skin. And then she darted it inside. Esther gasped loudly, and Nicola did it again.

Just the end of her tongue, really. Even that was almost too big. But it didn't matter. It was warm, and wet, and like nothing she'd ever felt. Nicola's hand grazed a nipple, but all Esther could concentrate on was Nicola's tongue, probing and tasting and making love to the hole she'd never expected anyone to fill.

Something tugged at her senses, and she opened her eyes in confusion. An instant later, Nicola gasped and pulled away.

The door flew open and Mark walked in. Even in the dark she could see his rage.

He stared at the scene, and his lip curled in scorn. Esther slid under her covers, terrified and guilty.

"While you two were busy," Mark said, "I came back, and of course I checked in on Abuela. Did you stop to wonder why she hadn't eaten her breakfast? Or LUNCH? I'm guessing you forgot to even bring her dinner."

"She didn't answer," Nicola stammered, pulling a blanket over her legs. "You know she's been meditating longer and longer. I was going to bring her fresh food, later —"

"After you'd finished seducing Esther, you mean," Mark said. "Well, it turns out Abuela hadn't drunk anything since yesterday either. And it took me twenty minutes to rouse her enough to eat. Esther I can forgive, but you should have known. You fucking selfish woman."

His breath was coming in quick, rasping bursts. He advanced closer to Nicola, and Esther saw something break in her.

"I'm so sorry," Nicola muttered. "Christ, I'm sorry, Mark."

"Apologize to ABUELA," he shouted, and for a moment it looked like he would hit her. Esther was terrified, powerless. This was Mark, but it wasn't Mark. It was the part of him he tried to control.

Then he smashed the door open and stomped outside. A moment later there was a horrible crashing noise, which went on and on, tearing and cracking, echoing in the night.

"Nicola," Esther hissed. "What do we do? What's happening?"

"It's my responsibility," Nicola said. "My fault." She stood up, took a breath, and walked into the dark without even putting her shoes on.

"Nicola!" Esther yelped. Quickly she struggled back into her clothes. She was burning with shame and terror for the other two.

The noises outside had stopped, but there was a new one, a horrible wail that kept rising and falling, getting fainter. It was Mark, disappearing into the woods. But he was in so much worse shape than the last time. Esther ran outside, but she didn't see anything. She was useless.

But a few minutes later, she heard something. A strange wailing melody, like the noise Mark had been making, but transformed into something otherworldly. It faded just below her hearing, then rose again, joined by a second melody. Both tunes broke off and then began again in a few seconds. It was one of the most beautiful, heartrending things she'd ever heard.

Two figures came out of the trees. Nicola, naked from the waist down, supporting Mark, who was bleeding and seemed barely conscious. The otherworldly sounds were all coming from Nicola.

"Nicola," Esther said, but the other woman shook her head, gesturing away from the cabin. Esther quickly moved away as Nicola helped Mark inside.

Not knowing what to do, Esther walked to the dining cabin. But something beyond caught her eye. Strange reflections.

It took her a moment to understand that she was seeing Nicola's beautiful bathing cabin. Mark had utterly destroyed it. The wood had been sheared off entirely, broken and splintered to pieces. A concrete support was broken in half, and even the metal water tank was crumpled. A dark pool of water was spreading and glass shards glittered in the moonlight.

Mark had done all that with his bare hands, in less than a minute. Esther collapsed to her knees, staring at the wreckage.

From the cabin she heard the strange noises again. Nicola was singing Mark a sort of lullaby, she realized. She hadn't known humans could even produce those sounds. Maybe only Nicola could.

Esther was freezing, but she didn't really care. She didn't deserve to be comfortable right now. She should have known, whatever Mark said. Abuela had all but told her she was worried she was dying.

Eventually she got up to find the water shut-off valve, and then she sat down again, gazing at the moon while Nicola's lullaby rose and fell.

In a half hour or so, Nicola silently joined her. She'd never even put pants on. Probably the other woman was feeling exactly the same guilt.

"I used to be a musician," Nicola said, staring at the remnants of the bath. "I played the clarinet, would you believe. I was in the marching band. I hardly needed to practice, because I could play anything after reading or hearing it once. I hated that fucking instrument. I hated being told I was bright, and I just needed to apply myself. I hated everything about my life. My ordinary, nervous little brother. My overbearing parents. And I hated myself more than all of it together. That at least has been a constant for me."

Esther didn't know what to say. So she put her arm around Nicola's shoulders. For a while the two of them stayed like that.

"I'm freezing," Esther said eventually. "Let's go get warm."

"Can we go to the dining cabin?" Nicola asked. "I can't face Mark again, not yet. Though I'm sure he's dead asleep."

Esther got to her feet clumsily and stared at the wreckage one last time.

"I had no idea," she said. "No idea what he was capable of."

Nicola nodded slowly, wincing as she got to her feet. "He's probably the strongest person in the entire world, when he decides to be. He never does that normally, because he's learned how to be efficient. His body will pay an immense price for what he did. No free lunch."

Nicola was limping slightly, so Esther helped support her.

"I'm so sorry about the bath," she said. "I know you loved it."

"It was just a project," she said. "Abuela is everything. Mark was right."

When Esther turned on the light in the cabin, she saw the blood all over Nicola's foot.

"Let me take care of that," Esther said hurriedly. Nicola waved her away and sat down.

Esther went to get the first aid kit anyway. Nicola grimaced while Esther washed her foot with a dishcloth. Both feet were badly scraped, but she'd gashed her left one on something.

"I stepped on a rock," said Nicola. "I'm not as good as Mark at avoiding all that shit in the dark."

"No one is," said Esther, finishing dressing Nicola's foot. She looked up. Nicola's naked crotch was right at eye level. Her stomach flipped nervously, and she hastily moved to sit across the table.

"Thank you for taking care of Mark," Esther said. "That was really brave. He could have — I don't want to think about it."

Nicola rubbed her eyes. "He would never have hurt me, if that's what you're worried about. Not intentionally, anyway. Destroying the bath is the closest he'd ever come. But I was so worried he'd go collapse in the forest somewhere. He'll be weak and in a lot of pain when he wakes up. We'll have to take care of him and Abuela both."

Esther nodded.

"Nicola," she said. "Thank you for before, as well. I feel so incredibly guilty now, but what you did felt amazing."

Nicola put her head on her arms and finally started to cry. Esther patted her hair awkwardly.

"He was right about that, too," mumbled Nicola. "I was so selfish. It's always my needs, before anyone else's."

That didn't make sense to Esther. She'd been the one to approach Nicola. And Nicola had only tried to help Esther feel good. She'd been succeeding at it, too.

"This is about Anthony, isn't it," Esther said slowly.

Nicola tensed and sat up, pulling away from Esther.

"What did Mark tell you about him?"

Esther swallowed. "That you two were close, and he was jealous. That Anthony hurt you somehow, and Abuela forced him to leave. He only told me that much because I was pushy."

Nicola shook her head. "Close. Is that how Mark saw it. Well, we did fuck each other's brains out. It was cruel to Mark, and I knew that, and I did it anyway. I don't know why. Maybe I thought I deserved it."

Esther shook her head in confusion.

"Anthony was a big blond guy," Nicola said. "With a body like a god. He knew it, and he was an ass. Sex with him was — well, he was aggressive. He didn't really care if I was enjoying it, and for someone like me there's a sick appeal to that. But he was getting stronger, more vicious, and one day I said no to him. That's when he threw me into the wall. Thank God Mark wasn't there."

"But Abuela was," said Esther.

"Yes," she said with a sigh. "Abuela can see a lot, but she has to be paying attention. She reacted fast enough afterwards, though. Before I'd come to my senses, she'd already pulled Anthony into her cabin. I shudder to think what she did to him, but it was still probably less than he deserved. That was the only other time I've seen Mark as angry as he was tonight."

"Where do you think Anthony went?"

"Away, I hope," said Nicola. "Another continent if we're lucky. I hope he's forgotten everything about me. I still have nightmares about him, to tell the truth. I worry about the people who might find someone like him useful."

Esther swallowed. "You mean, like the people who were after me. But why, Nicola? What do they want?"

Nicola stared at Esther. "Even after all this time here, after seeing what Mark did, you ask that? Esther, we are powerful, and we're dangerous. Can you imagine what someone like Anthony could do, if people with an agenda convinced him to do it? A government, or even some random rich asshole? And then if anyone else found out, we'd all be at risk. Maybe that's what has happened. The government knows people like us are out there, and so they're doing everything to control us, or put us to use for them rather than someone else. Abuela doesn't talk about it, but I'm sure that's what she's worrying about. Thank God she's here to keep us hidden. Even when I'm out in town, I have this sense that somehow she's keeping me protected."

Esther shivered.

"You were being kind to me," said Esther slowly. "This was nothing like what happened with Anthony. Even in that case it sounds like you were trying to hurt yourself, not Mark. You're not a cruel person. Mark knows that. He's just scared and upset about Abuela."

Nicola smiled and put her hand on Esther's.

"You really are a sweet girl," she said. "No, I mean that as a compliment. I hope you hold onto that. So, you ready to face the two of them?"

Esther nodded. The two of them put together dishes of leftovers for Abuela and Mark, and Esther helped Nicola to their cabin. Mark lay curled in Nicola's lower bunk. Esther carefully wiped some of the blood from his hands and arms while Nicola pulled off his tattered pants. His body was mottled with bruises and scrapes. Mark whimpered slightly in his sleep, but otherwise didn't react.

With some effort they got him to swallow a little food and drink before they covered him with a blanket. Nicola got dressed and they headed to Abuela's.

"Come, children," the old woman called as they approached her door.

She looked exactly the same as she always did when she was alert, smiling as she accepted the tray of food. Not once did she say anything about the evening's events. Finally Nicola and Esther went to their cabin. Spontaneously, Esther reached to give Nicola a good-night hug, and the other woman held her tightly.

"It'll be OK," said Esther. Nicola nodded and then climbed up to Mark's usual bunk.

Esther lay awake, turning over the evening's revelations. There was a larger pattern here than she had understood. Even now she only had pieces of it. What did Abuela spend her time doing, exactly? What work was it she seemed to think Esther could help with?

At least Esther and Nicola were finally getting along properly. Mark would recover eventually, and when he did she suspected he would be far more upset at himself than at the two of them. They would come through all this much closer than they'd been before. Just as Abuela clearly wanted.

The thought drew Esther up short. Abuela was nothing if not intelligent and subtle. Was she capable of manipulating their relations in that fashion? She had seemed completely fine when they visited her, with no trace of whatever had worried Mark so much.

Esther didn't like that idea one bit.

.........*** Chapter 22 ***.........

Hey Javier,

If you get this, send me an e-mail back. I'm bored out of my skull here.

Javier blinked at the mail. He'd finally started figuring out how e-mail worked, and the last thing he'd expected was to have a letter already. But it was from Kat, of course.

He smiled up at her, but she wasn't paying attention. It looked like she'd sent it two days ago, on Tuesday.